So I've been left lying in a pool of my own blood, bruised and beaten to a pulp by myself of all people and all done out of pure frustration. If it hadn't been me, it would have been the 360 that I would have thrown against the wall and there were a few moments of blind rage where I even felt myself reaching out to do exactly that. All of this came from my retro tinted spectacles (think rose tinted but in 16bit glory) being shattered by downloading and playing the original version of Banjo-Kazooie on XBLA.
Being such a Banjo fangirl I was obviously very opposed to Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts since "Banjo mixed with Lego vehicles and racing" is obviously such a stupid idea that it could never work. I was lucky enough to pick up a free download code for the original game when N&B was released and I couldn't wait to get home to it since the original game was obviously far superior. As a child I remember spending rather alarming amounts of time on Banjo-Kazooie and collecting all those damn jiggies and I loved every minute of it, yet I find myself agonized as I replay it now.
While loading the game I found myself charmed by the bright colours, yet after 20 minutes I could feel my eyes melting. It's not that I am opposed to alarming bright primary colours but after I came out of rehab for Viva Pinata I fell into my 'shades of gray' phase with games such as Gears of War and the relapse scares me. I also remember being charmed as a young gamer by the cute little voices given to characters while they talk, but after about three sentences from Bottles I found myself loading up iTunes and craving Nine Inch Nails or anything slightly depraved.
The game play is where it not only broke my heart but ripped it out of my body, still beating and then showed it to me as I gasped for my last breath because the game is broken; I swear to God it's bloody broken and I do not remember it being so infuriatingly broken! I have never ever wanted to throw my controller out of the window so badly, I swear I hit that bad guy, and yes I've heard the phrase 'don't hate the game...blah blah blah', but I swear I hit him so why isn't he dead?! It isn't dead because the game is bloody broken and if that isn't enough the camera has absolutely no interest in helping me complete this game as it enjoys making me play through brick walls or at increasingly annoying angles.
This isn't just with Banjo-Kazooie--I've felt this with so many other retro games, games which have shaped my childhood like Zelda or Final Fantasy—I will always love those games yet they don't transcend into my next-gen world of gaming. I've been spoiled by beautiful graphics and smooth gameplay that out-do anything retro games can produce. These next gen games won't ever knock games like Banjo-Kazooie or Zelda off my list of all time favourite games, they will merely join them upon the pedestal I have created for them. Yet replaying games like Banjo Kazooie is the reason I wish I didn't bother. Retro tinted spectacles allow me to look back upon games that by today's standards would be classed as crap and remember them fondly, but maybe that's how they should stay; fond memories. My experience of Banjo-Kazooie makes me scared of what replying games like Final fantasy VIII will do to my love for it. I don't want to hate or curse it, I don't want to feel like I'm punishing myself either; these games shaped me into the geek I have become today. It takes a certain type of gamer to appreciate retro gaming in a modern world, I certainly haven't lost my love for all those old games, I still kiss my N64 goodnight, but consoles like the 360 have taken me firmly by the hand and pushed me head first into the next generation world and I am kinda of scared that there is no longer a chance to turn back.
And yes, Banjo-Tooie is also on its way to XBLA, so if you really want to ruin someone's childhood...
This the same post I put up on the front page of the website I blog for called GEN or http://www.girlsentertainmentnetwork.com/ I met these people through dtoid, I've been here nearly 2 years and those who have been here just as long, if not longer, will remember people like William Haley, VirtualGirl, Kananya and Aktrez who are all over at GEN. GEN is taking some big steps right now and is trying to stand upon its own two feet and traffic and support it totaly needed. show the love...http://www.girlsentertainmentnetwork.com/my-broken-16bit-heart/ I know if it wasn't for all my time here at dtoid I wouldn't be blogging over at GEN and actually really enjoying it.
SEE YOU AT PAX BITCHES!
What?
you love Atheistium!
Very good write up but I am total oppsite when it comes to playing older games like Zelda or Banjo Kazooie. They old timey graphics don't bother me at all, when I replay those games, I become that little kid again and everything is awesome.
atheistium is awesome.
if I read tentacles instead of spectacles is there something wrong with me?
Sorry babe but I loved BK when it came out and I loved it on XBLA. But I do know the feeling you're talking about. A lot of retro games haven't aged well for me either.
I love Phoenix, I've never met her either!
At least you aren't a Sega Fanboy and end up with a new Sonic game every year reminding you that it sucks time after time.
Try playing FFVII. Now that's painful.
Wow, I'm glad I never had those feelings when I played the game. I thought the controls where fluid and great! Especially compared to alot of todays games that foucs on realistic tank controls (GTAIV).
I know the feeling.
It was recently, before the Sonic Unleashed release I was playing through all my Sonic games, for comparison.
I never hated Sonic Adventure(2) so much in my life.
Good luck with the site :)
Also, Perfect Dark hurts my eyes now, too.
Nuts and Bolts is fantastic. Play it!
Great write up, Hollie.
Here's the comment that I left on GEN...
This is the best thing I’ve read from you yet. Nicely done!
I’m a pretty big retro guy, but I definitely agree that there are a lot of games that seem archaic and out-classed nowadays. I mean, Super Mario World still looks and plays beautifully if you ask me, and so does Megaman X (16-bit FTW!). But games from the 64-bit era (N64 and PS1 specifically) I find especially hard to go back to because that’s when 3D games were still on their proverbial training wheels. It sucks when I try to recreate that magic I felt back in the day playing hours upon hours of games like Diddy Kong Racing or GoldenEye and instead end up kicking my childhood self in the face.
P.S. Header image is the best thing I’ve seen all week.
That's too bad =(
...oh well, time to get moving.
My heart is 16 bit
I agree with Yojimbo! Some games can age "gracefully" dare I say, like Ocarina of Time, but things like Final Fantasy VII have not. We're spoiled, and well it affects some of us more than others. I will still forever love playing Goldeneye, but I have friends who refuse to play "the game where the characters have loaves of bread for hands." If it's too much milady, don't play it, and just remember the great memories! ^_^
Good blog Hollie, i was going to get Nuts and Bolts since I truly loved the first game but I wasn't feeling the demo at all. See you on Febuary 11th Punk!
AHH BUHHHH???
I may as well have had sex with the Xbox Live version of Banjo Kazooie, because it made me tingle down there so much
the pain to relate too.
i cant even sit through shadow of the collusus any more, let alone an older zelda or final fantasy.
WHAT HAVE WE BECOME!!!!!!!!!!
I've found the same thing whenever I play an older game that I used to love, it's sad.
I think we forget how far games have come on in such a short time, tighter controls and coding e.t.c
well, most of the time...
Depends on the game really I can easily go back and play say sonic 2 or 3 over the new sonic games out today because they basically don't deliver the same experiance the old ones did (and what they do offer is inferior imo).
Somthing like doom though while I liked playing it years ago has obviously been bettered by loads of other FPS games from then.
Just depends I guess, some games and genres I belive have canged for the better while others for the worse.
For games nostalgia is like a terminal disease, you can try to fight it, but in the end everyone gives in.
I find that as long as you play the original and not a port or remake (unless it's undeniably better) then nostalgia will overpower everything else. Personally I just found playing Banjo on the 360 pad a bit weird.
Also go back and play FF-8 and tell me that the Balamb Vs Galbaldia Garden battle isn't one of the best moments in any FF or even any game ever and I will rape you in the ear.