I'm Nick. Most of the time online, I go by Phantomile, a reference to my favorite game from my childhood.
A reference that no one will get, but I don't care.
I'm 21, I'm from Connecticut, and I currently play games on PS2, DS, PSP, and Wii.
My favorite childhood classic is Ninja Gaiden II (NES). It was one of the first games I ever played and continues to give me a huge nostalgia rush every time I play it.
Twitter:
Sevenisyellow
Youtube:
Zero10999
Front Page Articles:
I Suck at Games: And That's the Way I Like It
I, the Author: A First-Hand Account of a Katamari Victim
Currently Playing:
Hatsune Miku: Project DIVA
Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey
Breath of Fire 3 (PSP)
Pokemon Soul Silver
The Misadventures of P.B. Winterbottom
Looking Forward To:
Metroid: Other M
Super Mario Galaxy 2
Persona 3 Portable
Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep
Recently Completed:
Braid (for the seventh time)
Touhou 8: Imperishable Night
Prototype
The Longest Journey
Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days
Here's a picture that Manic Maverick drew for me which is amazing:
You have your silly text message and I had the death of a friend to truly solidify how valuable life is. That simple, self-evident truth can often get lost in the torrents of emotion, but I hope that I (and by extension, you) never forget it.
I can imagine that's a really difficult experience to explain to people, but it was really kind of a touching story. Also, glad you're over your depression and that you worked things out with that girl. :)
@low tech: Very few of my "real life" friends even know this side of me; that's why I was nervous as hell about posting this. But it feels really good to finally explain it fully.
Glad you guys enjoyed the read.
This was a really touching blog and shows the power of a game... but also in a rather scary way. An incredible read.
That was an intense read, and thank you so much for sharing your experience with us.
I know, I know. I'm an awful human being.
But really, I tried playing Yume Nikki a while back, but I never really got into it. I don't think the version I played was in English though, is there a patch floating around?
I think the closest I ever came to atleast understand where you are coming from was when I contemplated suicide after the death of Kurt Cobain. In all honesty it feels weird to read about someone connecting so much with a video game character considering a game never felt real enough to get any kind of real
Personal connection but that's me. I'm more effected by movies. I recently watched the movie the Lovely Bones ( highly recommended) and the murder of the main character effected me in a way that had me think about it for days since she was murdered at 14 years old, not really given a chance at life. Here for a moment then gone again. Another was the murder of Kevin Spacey in American Beauty, a character that was just starting to make changes in his life that would make him happier but you still sensed he wanted to do things right by his family if they embraced his change. You have no idea how many times I've rewound the part where he relives his life in flashbacks and talked about how utterly meaningless the trivialities of our lives really are. Even if it's some stupid movie it'll stick with me the rest of my life.
As far as suicide goes I've figured, things would have to get pretty bad for me to ever consider it because i'd be too afraid to plus I realized suicides are almost always cries for attention/help and blogs like this are always good ways to express this in a way that helps you understand yourself.
I think my stupidly positive outlook on life has been in some ways formed by my gaming as a child, ever since I first saw Hyrule floating above the clouds in A Link to the Past, or caught the view of the entire world from the top of Death Mountain (lovely name). Looking at a game was like staring into a different universe to me, full of wonder and mystery. It was long after I'd finished my first Zelda though that I discovered the real world was as beautiful as some of those digital realms I used to surround myself in.
I've always lived by the thought that no matter how bad life gets you down, there's always so much beauty still to experience that makes it all worthwhile (I'm currently in my incredibly stressful coursework deadline period, I like to go over to the local nature reserve and watch the sunset to ease some of that pain). And if life gets far too bad to handle, I'll just run away somewhere on an adventure and see how long I last outdoors!
@cataract: The Megaupload one I linked to in beginning of the blog should be in English.
The idea that our dreams go on after we die is beautiful, but not entirely realistic. We'll find out one way or the other someday, but until we're forced into death, we might as well find out about as many other people's dreams as we still can.
I'm glad you made it through that realization, and I'm glad you wrote this blog. Thank you.
@Everyone else: I LOVE YOU TOO. :D
Congratulations, for the awesome writing and for surviving reality.
Anywho, look at what you made me do. I stayed up till 2 playing this game and even know you still got me distracted with all this talk and mumbles and sad stuffs that makes me think about more sad stuffs... Ffuuu, I still have to finish a paper due tomorrow and it's already 1 AM in the morning. Balls.
AGAIN ANYWHO, you turned me on to an amazing game-NO, you turned me on to THINKING about where I am and how I am or some other mumbo-jumbo I don't know or can place. Mainly how thinking about it now... I still hide myself from my troubles in my dreams as well, and here I am 20 and finishing school and I'm still trying to run away. Deep.
Come bakc to the forums.