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The Great Dtoid Drought of '09 - Destructoid

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About

WHI HALOO THUR.

My name is Pendelton (well, not really, but it sounds cool).
I have thoughts on Video Games.
You will listen to them.
Then your panties will melt.
I know, because I saw all this happening in a dream.
Also, I've got a Destructoid tattoo.





No, like, seriously:


Check out my other gigs:
Staff Writer
Cblog recapper
Destructoid Artisan

Hey, look! I've been on the front page a few times!
The Fear: Chainsaws
A Time To Destroy: Rampage
Playing with Others: My Dad and I Love Shaq Fu
I suck at games: I Suck At World 8-1

Also:
Dtoid Discusses: Media Tie-ins to Gaming
WTF is this shit, Pendelton21?

Top 10 Loved Games Evar:
1. Psychonauts
2. Skies of Arcadia
3. Okami
4. Mega Man X
5. Zombies Ate My Neighbors
6. The World Ends With You
7. Chrono Trigger
8. Super Mario RPG: Legend Of The Seven Stars
9. The Legend Of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass
10. Space Channel 5

Bottom 10 Games:
10. Diplomacy
9. Shaq Fu
8. Halo
7. Draconus: Cult of the Wyrm
6. Castlevania 64
5. Backyard Hockey
4. Magical Starsign
3. Spawn Armageddon
2. Simpsons Wrestling
1. MTV Sports: Skateboarding

And now, the sacred oath of The Rainbow Squirts:
To promote niceness.
To make the world prettier.
To share candy with everyone.
To obfuscate the true nature of the Milkman.
To protect the Milkman at all costs.
To eliminate all who threaten to reveal his secret objective.
Amen.
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Ladies and gentlemen,
I hope this news finds you well. I am contacting you with what limited resources I have left. In case you didn't know, for roughly the past two days, our beloved Destructoid.com was stricken with some sort of grave tragedy. We have been unable to access the glorious bounty of information it provides. At this time, I know not how such an incident came about. I have been beside myself trying to find out the answer. As such, I've been unable to do things, including process normal human functions; I have neither ate nor sleep since last I saw the glorious green mechanoid that graces our fair frontpage. All enjoyment seemed to have been sapped from my essence. And my Sunday was completely ruined; I had no Sterling article to enjoy, nor dumbasses that regularly comment on such articles to laugh at. But, thankfully, I can still talk to you through these wonderful cblogs. Have you found a way to live on during this horrible drought? Please leave note on you have survived these past harrowing hours. I hope that this blog can serve as a bandage to heal the wounds this past weekend may have left. Thank you, and God bless.

-Pendelton


Also cocks.



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