My name is Pendelton (well, not really, but it sounds cool).
I have thoughts on Video Games.
You will listen to them.
Then your panties will melt.
I know, because I saw all this happening in a dream.
Also, I've got a Destructoid tattoo.
Top 10 Loved Games Evar:
2. Skies of Arcadia
4. Mega Man X
5. Zombies Ate My Neighbors
6. The World Ends With You
7. Chrono Trigger
8. Super Mario RPG: Legend Of The Seven Stars
9. The Legend Of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass
10. Space Channel 5
Bottom 10 Games:
9. Shaq Fu
7. Draconus: Cult of the Wyrm
6. Castlevania 64
5. Backyard Hockey
4. Magical Starsign
3. Spawn Armageddon
2. Simpsons Wrestling
1. MTV Sports: Skateboarding
And now, the sacred oath of The Rainbow Squirts:
To promote niceness.
To make the world prettier.
To share candy with everyone.
To obfuscate the true nature of the Milkman.
To protect the Milkman at all costs.
To eliminate all who threaten to reveal his secret objective.
Suddenly, a god-like voice boomed out over the masses. “Ladies and gentlemen,” it spoke, “PAX 2009 is now open.”
Ain’t that the fucking truth. PAX 2009 has officially commenced, leaving me feeling the same way someone must feel at the end of an orgy; hot, sticky, and sighing in ecstacy, but longing for more. I could not have asked for a better weekend. Not only did I get to take part in some of the greatest minutes in gaming, I also met the greatest group of people in exsitence, and forever emblazoned the symbol of said group on my body. Yes, you’ve heard it a million times before, and you’ll hear it even more in the future, but it really is true; you MUST come here.
The sights, the sounds, the smells, the feelings; it all must be experienced. You have to stumble through the streets of Seattle on a Friday afternoon and see a man walking a leashed ferret. You must listen to the pings and shouts of joy coming from the arcade playground known as Gameworks. You’ve gotta get your hands on a game that you’d never heard of before, but INSTANTLY want. (Oh Shank. Oh God yes Shank.) You should really feel the embrace of a drunk internet superstar that you weren’t expecting (love you, Sessler!). You must come home.
Over the next few days, if you’d indulge me, I’m gonna fucking shove PAX down your throats. I’ve got a new Level-Headed tomorrow about a PAX-related game, a story about the worst AND greatest booth (the Hudson booth) at PAX, a review of the Freezepop concert, a behind-the-scenes tale of the Dtoid tattoo, a collection of cosplayers, and my love letter to the Elephant and Castle, the meeting place of the PAX Dtoiders.
Whether you’re upset that PAX is over, or that you couldn’t go, I hope you’ll enjoy the tales I’m prepared to tell. ‘Cause I sure as hell enjoyed experiencing them.