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WHI HALOO THUR.

My name is Pendelton (well, not really, but it sounds cool).
I have thoughts on Video Games.
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Faceplam Of The Week: Gamer Grub
pendelton21 \| 2:20 PM on 10.03.2008	24 comments

Originally seen on Geekoligie.

So, I'm not sure if any of you have hard about this, but there's a new food/beverage/snack/meal replacement item being put on the market. Gamer Grub is the new treat designed to keep gamers fueled through even the toughest gaming sessions. In great flavors like "ACTION PIZZA" and "RACING WASABI", you'll be sure to find the perfect treat to keep you chugging along on your computer screen. And, with no crumbs or residue left on your fingers after eating, you can be sure all your controllers will be clean and in great condition. ORDER TODAY!!!

...Jesus fucking Christ, are you serious? This is the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Has the stereotype of gamers gotten so bad that people think we need our own "food product" to keep us alive in front of our TV screens? What, are we not allowed any of the precious "normal people" food, so we get ACTION PIZZA GAMER GRUB??@?@?!??!?! What the fuck is this shit anyway? It says it's "specially engineered to be crumb and grease free", which is the biggest load of shit I've ever read since I heard some guy named John was gonna make me his bitch. It is a drink? Is it plastic-sealed potato chips? I never really want to find out. And I hope none of you feel compelled to buy this shit, either. Whatever it is (which, above all, is disgusting), it definitely deserves to be the Faceplam Of The Week.

Tycho, do you have anything you'd like to say about this product?

EDIT: The site's back up. I think I'm gonna be sick. No wonder they covered up the food with graphics...

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23 comments | showing # 1 to 23

Krow

Any pictures of the actual food? Looks cheesy.

Dangerously so.

blehman

I saw this earlier on Geekologie too, I still can't figure out what the hell it is.

Also, protip: for comics and stuff, save it on your harddrive, and upload it to teh toid so it comes out as a full comic and doesn't get cut-off.

pendelton21

Ah, thank you, milkshake.

zombiekiller13

Their site (www.gamergrub.com) won't load. Maybe they are getting hit up for pre-orders...or facepalms.

Phantom Spaceman

Designed for hungry gamers who want to continue playing games while consuming snacks, Gamer Grub is a great tasting, healthy line of performance snacks. With a patent-pending formulation to support cognitive functions, gamers will have the opportunity to boost core gaming systems and speed reaction times for maximum gaming performance. The ergonomic packaging design maximizes fast-action dispensing of the snack -- eliminating the potential of keyboard crumbs and greasy fingers.

lol, best marketing bullshit ever.

Spartacus

I must say, this producct did make me headdesk quite hard.

Sam Spectre

That is disgusting. I'm a gamer and I like real food, not shit in a can.

RAB

gamergrub?

fuck this, gamergrub is the raw steak and vagina that i eat barehanded while I play castle crashers

king3vbo

I thought "gamergrub" was hot pockets and cheap beer

eternalplayer2345

Here's hoping there entire business fails leaving every inventor on the street.

MrSadistic

Funk that noise. I'm perfectly fine with the few month old Funyuns Korean knock-offs I get for a dollar.

ghets

I wouldnt mind trying Action Pizza.

TheDreadHawk

... I want to try it. Just to see how "different" it is. Wtf is this though?

ProperlyParanoid

Hell, i don't event eat when i play, unless i'm playing multiplayer games with my friends.
And i'm not going to eat this shit in front of my friends.

sicPOS

protip: right click -> view background image.

Now you can see what the crap looks like without the interference of the button graphics.

REMiXXX

ACTION PIZZA.

I rapes your mother, saves the princess and gets the 1up.

It's fucking actiony.

Mentok the Mindtaker

Dont you think you are over reacting just a bit? I mean come on dude it is just a snack food, and i would like to try each flavor. (It is also leaves no crumbs or grease behind to get all up in your key board or on your controller)

RICHARD BLOCKER

Obviously they are mistaken. Gamergrub is Red Barron microwave pizza and sourcream & chedder Lays chips.

akathatoneguy

RAB nailed it with "gamergrub is the raw steak and vagina that i eat barehanded while I play castle crashers".

Brilliant, sir. Brilliant.

pendelton21

@Mentok:

The reaction is because this company's just trying to make a name for itself slinging its shitty snack food to gamers, and giving us bullshit scientific mumbo-jumbo to try and sell more treats. They're treating gamers like they're 5. And the only reason it leaves no crumbs or grease is because it's in that fucking container. That's it.

njsykora

I have Pure on pause right now and I'm eating pizza with one hand and drinking good cider with the other. Now that's fucking gamer grub dickspurts.

Projectexodus

How come the US gives their food all these weird and disgusting names? Squishees, slurpies, cherios, cheetos etc. When I think of the word grub, it reminds of some green goop that glows in the dark. Either that or larvas.

Vitamin Awesome

I wonder if this would be anything like Bachelor Chow, I'm still working on recipes for my own rendition of man-kibble.

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