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Does It Suck? Contest: Magical Starsign - Destructoid

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WHI HALOO THUR.

My name is Pendelton (well, not really, but it sounds cool).
I have thoughts on Video Games.
You will listen to them.
Then your panties will melt.
I know, because I saw all this happening in a dream.
Also, I've got a Destructoid tattoo.





No, like, seriously:


Check out my other gigs:
Staff Writer
Cblog recapper
Destructoid Artisan

Hey, look! I've been on the front page a few times!
The Fear: Chainsaws
A Time To Destroy: Rampage
Playing with Others: My Dad and I Love Shaq Fu
I suck at games: I Suck At World 8-1

Also:
Dtoid Discusses: Media Tie-ins to Gaming
WTF is this shit, Pendelton21?

Top 10 Loved Games Evar:
1. Psychonauts
2. Skies of Arcadia
3. Okami
4. Mega Man X
5. Zombies Ate My Neighbors
6. The World Ends With You
7. Chrono Trigger
8. Super Mario RPG: Legend Of The Seven Stars
9. The Legend Of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass
10. Space Channel 5

Bottom 10 Games:
10. Diplomacy
9. Shaq Fu
8. Halo
7. Draconus: Cult of the Wyrm
6. Castlevania 64
5. Backyard Hockey
4. Magical Starsign
3. Spawn Armageddon
2. Simpsons Wrestling
1. MTV Sports: Skateboarding

And now, the sacred oath of The Rainbow Squirts:
To promote niceness.
To make the world prettier.
To share candy with everyone.
To obfuscate the true nature of the Milkman.
To protect the Milkman at all costs.
To eliminate all who threaten to reveal his secret objective.
Amen.
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Some games suck. That's just the way of life in the video game world. But sometimes, games that everyone thinks sucks get a bum rap, and looking back on them, we realize they don't suck as much as we thought they did. Consequently, there are other games that we once thought were awesome, but looking back, they weren't so great. And some games just suck no matter what.

(horray for copypasta!!!)

So, blasting off into space, it's...



Basic Info
Magical Starsign
Developer - Nintendo
Console - Nintendo DS
Year - 2006

The Premise
Take the characters from Chrono Trigger, put them in a Harry Potter book, and blast the whole concocted shitstorm into outer space. Oh, yeah, and name the characters after desserts/salad dressing/cheeses. And fight a big, alien, magical chicken. In space.

Yes, it is really that fucking dumb and uninspired.


Robo...sorry, Mokka, one of your deliciously-named partners.

The Gameplay
Standard RPG fare: rock-paper-scissor elements, different attacks and defenses depending on where you place your characters in battle, elemental magic, blah, blah, blah. It's nothing you've never seen before. The only big change is a use of the solar system to boost your powers. Depending on the time of day, and the alignment of the planets, you or your opponents powers will increase. But, because of the way the fighting system is set up, this is a moot point.

Your basic battle screen, with the solar system at the top.

Battles are easier than anything you've played before. The game gently coaxes you into using magic rather than attacks. To help this out, the game replenishes your MP quickly. This then eliminates the need for healing items (if you have enough healing spells), MP recovery items, and weapons, even though the game offers them. It's really unusual for a game like this to hold your hand throughout the battles by giving you every advantage, and it detracts from gameplay.

The story involves you and your party running after one of your teachers at Hogwarts...sorry, Will 'O Wisp Academy, when you find out she's run off to another planet for some reason. The problem is, you've never been in outer space. Apparently, no one has, what with there being no such things as space ships. So, of course, you find 6 space ships in a back room of the academy, and you and your friends blast off into space. But, along the way, each ship is marooned on a different planet, and it's your job to get everyone back together. I think there's more, but I just didn't give a shit.

The Graphics and Sound

Magical Starsign is apparently the sequel to a Japan-only GBA game called Magical Vacation. Something tells me that the graphics and sound from that game aren't that different than this one. Poor music and lame character sprites drag the experience down. Thankfully, environments are rather vibrant and fun, until you get into dungeon levels, where each turn looks the same as the last.

The Conclusion
Forgetable story, characters you've already played as 15 years ago, difficulty level on par with a 5-piece jigsaw puzzle, and lame graphics make this game a throwaway RPG experience.

Final Vedict: Moderate Suckage
Not even worth being pissed off over.
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