Yes, you read that right... I've been banned.

This happened a couple weeks ago, but I'm just now getting all the details, so now's a good time to post this. Get ready for a long story.

So I was a regular GameStop shopper, mainly for their special edition exclusives. I've been shopping more at Play N Trade* recently, but I still went to GameStop often. I had been going to this specific location (Crescent Corners, 57 E. 11400 S., Sandy UT, 84070) since it opened, and I had even seen employees come and go. Everyone there knew me by name, both first and last. So I went in one day, and I was told by the guy there that I knew the best that the computer said that I wasn't allowed to shop there anymore. When I asked why, I was told I had to talk to a manager (who's been an ass ever since he's worked there, by the way --- he really shouldn't be working in retail with the way he treats people), which I did the next day.

I walked in and asked him what the deal was, and he told me that he "can't tell me all the details, but there were some tapes I have to review and show the police." My mouth was literally hanging open by this point, and I had to consciously stop myself from drooling on the carpet. I figured instead of starting something, I should just head out of the store... For now.

I proceeded to call GameStop corporate for the next few days, and when I finally got in touch with the district manager, she told me to go back into the store and talk to the manager, because she had talked to him. I did this a couple days later, and here's how the conversation went:

MANAGER (smirking): Sorry, but I can't have you in the store.

ME: Your district manager says otherwise. (His smirk fades very quickly.) So what's the story?

MANAGER: Well, we have an eye-witness that says he saw you put something of ours in your pocket and then leave the store.

(This is when things start to get interesting, as he apparently wasn't ready for me to [*gasp*] ask questions.)

ME: When did this supposedly happen?

MANAGER: Well, I don't remember the date...

ME: Okay... What was taken?

MANAGER: I can't remember.

ME: Uh-huh. And you said there were tapes you needed to review. Can I see them?

MANAGER: Well, there actually aren't any tapes.

ME: No, I didn't think there were.

MY DAD (Who was there to make sure I wasn't going to lose my cool): So why didn't you call the police if this happened?

MANAGER: Well, we really didn't see a reason to.

(I'm thinking to myself at this point, "Theft isn't a good enough reason to call the police?")

ME: Okay, so what happened exactly, from your point of view?

MANAGER: Well, you were standing by the PS3 stuff, and after you left, someone came up to us and told us that you took something of ours. I left the store to find you, and you were acting squirrelly in the parking lot (his words, not mine), and then you drove off.

(Now, I know what "squirrelly" means in that sense, but I didn't know what he meant by it, so I thought I'd ask.)

ME: Now, when you say "squirrelly," what do you mean, exactly?

(His word-for-word response?)

MANAGER: Eh, I don't know.

(I'm not making that up.)

MANAGER: All I know is that after we got this tip, we took inventory of that section of the store two days later, and there was something missing.

That was when I said a few semi-rude things under my breath (I didn't think they were rude from my POV) and left. So, what he pretty much told me was this: He didn't know when this "theft" had happened, he didn't know what was "taken," he waited two damn days to take inventory of the store (which means either I'm the only one capable of stealing from them or I was the only person in the store for two days), and he has no idea what he means when he attempts to use big words. And I'm the one who's not allowed in the store anymore.

It took me a few days, but I think I finally figured out what that random guy thought he saw me take --- I'm a new PSP owner, and I was trying to download demos from GameStop's kiosk PSP, which is one of those PSP Demo Stations or whatever they're called. I couldn't get it to work (and none of the employees offered any help to me or any other customers in the store), so I put my PSP back into my pocket and left. That's when the guy told them I stole something --- my own PSP. I have no idea what he meant by the "squirrelly" comment (and neither did he, for that matter), but whatever. Nothing that can be done now, I guess.

So yeah. That's that. It's not like I'd ever give them my business again, even if they got everything figured out (but they never will). So if you're ever in that area of the country, don't bother shopping at that GameStop --- they just might accuse you of taking their stuff (but don't expect them to know what you took or when you supposedly did it, or to even make eye-contact with you at all while you're there).

*Oh, and by the way... If you actually have a Play N Trade anywhere near you, give it a shot if you haven't, because I've found it to be much better than GameStop. In fact, they actually check GameStop's website to see their prices, and then they undercut them by a buck or two. Pretty sweet, actually.