Somewhere in the backwoods of California, in a cabin with 5 cats and little contact with the outside world. Locked away with nothing but a PC, a guitar, and an near limitless supply of spam. A small yet courageous man works day and night in order to make sense of humanity's greatest secrets. Using his abilities as a skilled video games player, amateur musician, and wannabe film connoisseur, he manages to keep himself busy with his work of saving the world through his studies of Heavy Metal, Silly Pop Culture, and Raccoons.
With Shitty satellite internet with a daily bandwidth cap, Fuck Hughesnet.
9: I'm an avid musician.
I play Guitar, Bass, Drums, and Keyboards, but my expertise is the Kazoo and the Rain Stick.
8: I'm 22 5'4", 125 lbs, Long Hair, Hazel Eyes, and a nice trimmed 6.5 Inch....
oh wait, that was supposed to go in my craigslist ad.
7: My favorite game console is the PS1.
Followed very closely by the N64, but I had a bigger library for the PS1. Metal Gear Solid, Spyro The Dragon, Medievil, Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver, Crash Bandicoot, Final Fantasy IX.
6: Frank Zappa is the Greatest Musician Ever. Period.
If you don't know who that is, go to the record store right now and buy every album of his you can find. You will become a better human being.
5: I got 5 Cats.
Their names are Boo Boo, Kisses, Spooner, Fuzzy Butt, and The Claw.
4: On Second Thought, My favorite game console is the N64.
N64 had the better games. Goldeneye, Super Smash Bros, Mario 64, Paper Mario, Banjo Kazooie, Perfect Dark, all some of the most memorable games I've played.
3: This one time I was at a party, and me and my friend were drinking, and we were doing shots together when then we decided to make margaritas, but we didn't have a blender or any ice. So we just started doing shots of tequila and chasing them with Margarita mix. The last thing I remember is waking up on my friends couch wrapped up in a towel with no pants on. Apparently I had thrown up and fell on the kitchen floor, where I then started to roll around in my vomit. My friend kindly undressed me and layed me on his couch while he washed and dried my clothes.
You know you have a true friend when he's willing to wash your puke stained clothes and let you crash on his couch in nothing but your boxers.
2: I have a metal plate holding my hip in place.
I was born with my hip pretty much backwards. I can walk and run fine mostly, but it does feel sore every now and then.
1: You know what, fuck it, its all about the Virtual Boy.