Seeing as how the forums are broken, I would post this here instead.
The bathroom at my work sucks. And stinks. And is located in the worst possible location. It is RIGHT NEXT to the office kitchen. Yeah, and the vent that sucks up all the dirty crap smells doesn't work very well. And the walls are paper thin, so anybody in the kitchen is privy to whatever duty is going on in the bathroom. It's like we all have sonar in the office kitchen.
I know Banj had a great thread about this subject in the forums, but since its unavailable, I'll drop this shit here.
Generally, I do not drop shits at work. I find it unappealling. I like to pretend that everyone else at my work also doesn't do what I like to not do at work. It's a part of their life that I have no interest in, and I like to go on my merry way, ignorant of the types of sounds and smells that exit their poophole.
Exceptions being (for myself)- I show up to work twenty minutes early and am the only person there, and the two cigarettes I smoked on the way to work as well as the coffee I drank has loosened up my intestines to the point of leakage.
The only other exception- Eating seven Stuffed Jalapenos from Jack in the Box (a fast food restaurant) last night after downing a six pack of cheap beers. This my friends is a ticking time bomb. And so I woke up this morning, feeling a bit sick. Luckily, I was actually a bit early in getting ready and was able to get a couple minutes to read magazines and empty my bowels at home (or so I thought).
I drive to work. Smoke two cigarettes. My stomach begins to cramp. I begin to sweat. I have two coworkers (both women if it matters) and think whether I should go or not. My ass feels like its on fire (thanks Jack in the Box!) and decide I have no choice in the matter.
I go to the bathroom, drop my pants, and feel as vulnerable as a dog taking a shit in public (you've seen their expressions, its sad).
After carefully making sure all was clean in the bathroom, I exit to the presence of my coworkers in the bathroom, no doubt having been treated to a symphony of sounds that only my ass could provide.
So, anyone else have a shitty location for their work bathrooms? Mine's next to the work kitchen, which I believe is the worst design choice, ever.
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My work bathroom is in a noisy warehouse so I don't really have to worry about intense shit sounds. I still don't like shitting in public though, I just make sure to take down a lot of coffee and chain smoke in the morning in order to get it out of the way before I leave.
"I go to the bathroom, drop my pants, and feel as vulnerable as a dog taking a shit in public (you've seen their expressions, its sad)."
I actually laughed out loud while reading that at work, because I feel your pain. My bathroom is right next to our kitchen as well, and is also surrounded by a few classrooms. It's impossible to get down to business during the day, when students in the adjacent Japanese class can hear every noise coming out of you.
If that wasn't bad enough, we have international students from all over the globe here, who have different customs when it comes to knocking on bathroom doors. Many love to just burst right in, which has driven me to paranoia as I check that the door is locked every time. And then there are the people who just hang outside the door after finding it's occupied. That's lovely.
You'll get no sympathy from me.
I have to share 3 stalls, 2 urinals, 3 showers, and 4 sinks with a bunch of stanky fucksticks on the ship.
When we're out to see, that's all we got, and sometimes it backs up and you get shit all over the floor.
This is quite possibly the greatest blog ever written.
I work at a call center and at times it can be really quiet. You can hear if someone is in the bathroom all throughout the call center. It is located next to our break room, so the people in there know what is going on.
My bathroom is shared by the office down the hall that does Aids tests. So people take their cups into that bathroom to pee in. One toilet for a whole shit ton of people.
Its bad.
also, how long have the forums been giving out this url:
http://www.destructoid.com/elephant/#brb%20-%20something%20broke.%20Also,%20hi%20Yojimbo!
Coffee in the morning always makes me go. It's like a flak cannon into the shitter is what it is!! Just one explosive shot.
I enjoy my corporate bathroom quite nicely. I like how the men and womens bathroom doors are pretty much facing eaco ther. So, I'll be coming out of the bathroom at the same time one of the female coworkers come out. We let out an awkward "hello" and think you probably just "flak cannoned into the shitter" because the cafeteria food is 80% laxative. I approve of this blog.
"flak cannon into the shitter" is the new "microshitting fagtart."
At least in my eyes.
I just use the disabled toilet at work because i hate going to the toilet and there is some dirty bastard in forcing one out.
The crappers here at work are usual clean, but there is one disturbing thing about them. There are deep gouge marks on all the toilet seats. I can't even imagine who or what caused them, but its kinda messed up.
forums are that way -->>
oh wait...
but seriously I hate having to share a toilet but it is nice to know you're being paid to shit :)
also, Stuffed Jalapenos... WTF?? I've never seen these in Australia but they sound good, what's the deal with them?
@Puppy Licks-
They are hollowed out jalapenos that have been stuffed with cheese, breaded, and then fried. Use buttermilk sauce as a side dip.
Very good. Spicy and refreshing balanced perfectly.
i hate shitting in public places but i do it anyway if i gotta drop a deuce.
usually i'll pull out my ds and make some progress while im at it
@Puppy
It's the shit we americans come up with when we decide what we should deep fry next. Honestly they are fucking tasty, problem is they tend to give you the runs.
I tutor at a college and I gotta say that I have fears of getting crabs and hep b looking at the seats (sorry if I'm fanning your own fears of public johns). But least your crapper is clean. Many of you have probably even stolen into a one room women's bathroom to cut loose. Just remember to lift the seat if you're "draining the lizard" (LOL) Cause when you gotta go you gotta go. I too have ingested the double edged sword of Jack in the Box's jalapeno poppers and I gotta say, TOTALLY WORTH IT. Also side topic, if you all have never had either a order of chili cheese fries, sloppy joes, chili dog or a cheese steak you're all seriously deprived!