Like many of you growing up, I was only able to afford a new game every so often, and so each purchase was a special experience. The back of the box usually had a fantastic description of the game, tickling my still young and fertile imagination, and from the aisle to the back of the car all the way back to the house, I would look at the 3 screenshots to the game I bought and imagine the new adventure I would soon embark on. What these screenshots usually neglected and wouldn't be able to properly show was the difficulty of the game.



Contra, Gradius, Zanac, Section Z, Castlevania. These were some of the games that captured my imagination as a child. The front of the box promised entry into otherworldy and more importantly, kickass action, and the back of the box explained the backstory that would immerse me into my mission to save the world (sometimes the galaxy, universe and beyond), increasing my heartrate as my brain kicked into overdrive to come up with my own origin story so that I may easily jump into the game.



I would power on the system, turn up the tv, and rock along to the music. I wouldn't immediately press the start button, instead, choosing to wait it out so that I could see an opening movie. This further fed my hunger. Then, when the menu popped back up, I was ready to press start.

Game on.

Two minutes later...

Game over.

What the heck?!

I'm dead?

Yeah, and so the last two statements would repeat itself over and over as I played these games, each time getting slightly further, but like in real life, death was inevitable. My face would be flush with anger and frustration, my hands not even having an opportunity to get sweaty, as the game over screen and mocking music to express failure played on the television. Such would be my experience with the harder video games as a child.

Nowadays, I still gravitate towards the more difficult games. At the game stores, I read through the back of the box, and my ears perk when I read about the inhuman difficulty of some games. When I read about the difficulty of Ninja Gaiden II, I smiled, and ordered it immediately. I love Metal Slug for its beautiful brutality and unflinching honesty in proving my unworthiness to play it.



I can appreciate a game's ability to make me its bitch through its horrendously unforgiving AI or terribly placed platforming sequences. But age has taken its toll. Honestly, I no longer have the time to play extremely difficult games. With the amount of concentration required, and the necessity of having the ability to suppress stress, I can no longer give these types of games my all. I have given up.

I only have so many free hours after I subtract work, sleep, going out, and other activities, that video games can no longer be a primary source of entertainment that I can devote hours to.

Case in point- Months and months ago, I played God of War. A fantastic game. I started on the most difficult setting. As the hours and days passed, the frustration and stress grew from all the times that I died and had to restart. I realized that the absolutely euphoric sense of accomplishment from beating some of the levels could no longer surpass the amount of dread I was experiencing whenever I lost. I put the game away, for months.

A few days ago, I fire up the game again. The experience was the same. Dread, frustration, death, and alot of shaking my head in dismay. Then, the game asked me a question- "Would I like to play on easy mode?" EASY mode? I thought about it for a minute. Would I be cheating myself of the experience that these game creators wanted me to have? Am I such a shitty game player that I have to resort to a girly (no offense) difficulty? Then I thought back to the times playing this game and realized that I was having no fun at all. It wasn't a difficult decision after that.

I selected "yes."



And you know what? I had a fantastic fuckin' time playing through the rest of the game. Yeah, I know. Easy mode. Anybody can beat the game on easy. I say, so what? I was having fun again. I began enjoying the exploration, looked at my surroundings with a new perspective, really enjoyed the creature designs, listened even more intently to the music instead of the dreading impending doom. This was fucking great.

Yes, I know. It's STILL easy mode. But that's alright. Games were made to entertain me, not punish me for not having the patience to withstand a digital hazing. I accept that now.

And in the end, I have come to the realization, that playing through a game and having fun with the little amount of free time that I can devote to a hobby that I've had since I was five is MUCH more important than proving to my more immature self that the most difficult difficulty is the ONLY way to play.