I came home from work this afternoon and was pleasantly surprised by a brown package originating from Japan. I thought to myself, what the fuck is this?! My Dualshock 3 had arrived months ago, and most recently, my Sons of Liberty mini figures also got delivered and now decorate the top of my television- So my brain went into overdrive trying to figure out what this was (You might be asking yourself why doesn't he just open the fuckin' package and see what it is instead of standing there in deep thought struggling to remember what insane impulsive purchase was made this time).

Eventually, (much too much time passed before my idiot self actually decided to commit to some action) I found my swiss army knife and with a surgeon's precision (if he was a functional alcoholic who suffers from the shakes) cut open the belly of the box.

[Cue the heavenly lights shining down upon me and my package]

Gradius!



More specifically, Gradius III's Vic Viper 1/100 Scale Plastic Kit!

I had totally forgotten that I spent way too much money on a model kit months and months ago and here it finally was. For a while there, I was resigned to the fact that I had been jipped. The more I thought about it, I was trying to rationalize why I even bought a model kit in the first place. I have never bought one before. I had no interest in model kits. I'm not exactly very arty or good with my hands. I'm not a big fan of glue (only the sniffing thank you very much). And now here I am holding a model kit. So, why?

I'll tell you why- The Vic f'n Viper! The most badass spaceship of them all! The up up down down left right left yadda yadda yadda Konami code spaceship! Plus, Gradius III is my favorite Gradius game, more than the first one, and more than Life Force even (I never played the PS2 versions of Gradius, so I can't comment on those).

Opening up the box, there's a cool little description of the Vic Viper's specifications. Pretty rad.



So, I'm gonna down a couple beers and try to figure out how to assemble this spaceship. In a few hours, hopefully I will have a completed one-man-savior-of-the-universe (In all likelihood, I will lose an all important piece and not be able to complete it). Between the spaceship and getting paid, this has been a pretty good day.



Directions? Who needs them. This is America!

(My apologies for the excessive use of parentheseseses. I like to follow up my thoughts with thoughts about my thoughts)