STALKER: Call of Destructoid

script was written by number one guy in Dtoid forums; GUY.
#1 Guy also was the director of photography, scenery, special effects, concept idea supervisor, cast director CEO, alpha tester, beta tester and beer taster.
The development team thanks him widely for his support and allocation of goods (beer)
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Featuring Cryengine 2's wall gravity and gray colors
PS3 exclusive feature = oiver 9000 snow flakes on snow levels. over 9000 cat hairs on charaxter cloth
PC exclusive features= antialias 939x QMSAA support for nojaggies. dirtx11 enhanced with old-jacket dirt and physics. OPTIMIZED: you can disable those two for playing the game.
360 exclsuve= srs bizness (nofun)
Wii exclusive tooh!
wii exclusive= catch the evil forces in cages that pop out from the ground, be careful though because the evil is always hard to see, don't waste thy cages Hero!
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After getting the game, you can then start playing (not before tweaking weird stuff first in PC).
(IGNP: This deep engaging storyline) (GP: with great extreme graphic enhancements for the experience) (GF: Though it sucks..) starts more or less like this;

(PC/PS3 version)

"In case you guys didn't hear, it's snowing today.
I'm out of beer, and the snow is going to keep coming. I must fix that."

(wii version)

"In case you friends didn't hear, the world is falling off today.
I'm out of candy, and the snow is going to keep arriving at our village. I must help everyone in that."

(360 version)

"In case yo nigs didn't hear, it snowin' today.
I'm outta beer, and the snow is gonna keep coming. I must kill those sons of bitches."

In mid game we're presented the actual mechanics (GP: Which is pretentious and suck and has no reason for whatsoever) (GF: what he said)

(PC/PS3)
"Then I open the door...

Well fuck.
Can't see but about 10 feet in front of me."

(Wii)
"Then I mishandle the gates of darkness...

Tsk, Can't see but about 10 feet invisible enemies in front of me."

(360)
"Then I open that piece of shit door...

Well fuck. Can't see shit around 10 feet in fucking front of me. Those bastards in vietnam took my right fucking eye."

(PC/PS3)


(Wii)


(360)


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Get it because these people say so:
In Game Nit Pick = 10/10 (Ps3) Best gaem evar 1/10(wii) kiddie graphics ruined it 5/10 (360) shit controls ruined it.
Games Pit = 10/10 (360) best gaem evar 1/10 (PS3) pretentious bullshit ruined it 1/10 (Wii) I didn't like it, it's suppoed that I leik ti.
Game Fags= 1/10 (everything) hurr durr hurp derp notvidya herrp

GOTY all years

trash fail bbcode left bcuz editor; [img][/img]

(period)