Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail is probably the most famous Monty Python movie ever. We all have our favorite moments in the movie; whether it be the Holy Hand Grenade, The Knights Who Say Ni, or the killer rabbit. One of my personal favorites is the Black Knight, the man who never gives up! Haven't you always wanted to have all of you limbs brutally severed from your body by sword?
Now you can buy the perfect starter piece to reenacting this scene at home: Your very own Black Knight Helmet. But wait, you say, a gigantic cylindrical piece of metal on my head would not be comfortable at all! In fact I daresay your friends might spend hours simply smacking the helmet gleefully with spoons or bricks, watching your head rattle around helplessly inside. Fear not, for this helmet is not made of metal, but is rather like a stuffed animal to wrap around your head.
With this helmet you shall never be defeated! Even if you are reduced to a mere torso, it will count as a win when your enemy runs away in fear of your resilience and determination!
[Buy Yours Here!
Nerd Rating: 8 of 10
This product is awesome because it is well priced at about $24, looks well made and has the potential for cosplay. If you can find a way to make both your arms and legs somewhat detachable, this will make cosplay more realistic/entertaining.
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So I figured in order to force myself to post more regularly I should have a serial blog of sorts (insert witty breakfast food remark here). And what better to post with than some interesting toys/gadgets/random crap every once in a while?
I'm going to try to stay away from ThinkGeek as much as possible, since I'm sure many people here already visit that site regularly (I'm on their email list too). That said, I'm going to probably make many, many National Console Support references because that's the other vendor that I frequent.
For day we have: The Xbox 360 Ocean Blue Shell
Have you ever looked at your Xbox 360 with love and said, "Hey baby, let me void your warranty?" Well now you can do it in style with the Ocean Blue Xbox 360 Shell! Apple is the company that made white the new black, but I think it's about time to make blue the new white. This is a particularly well-chosen shade, even if it doesn't really match the tone of the blue controllers released by Microsoft. One of the cool things about the shell is that is translucent, so you can see all of the fancy machine parts that make your system function/RRoD/burn your house down. This shell would probably look pretty nice with the Halo 3 or Mass Effect faceplates.
As a disclaimer (and mentioned above) replacing the shell on your 360 WILL void the warranty. However if your warranty is expired or you just don't care, this is the product for you. The National Console Support website offers some pretty detailed, illustrated instructions for both removing your current 360 shell and installing the newer, bluer one.
It's a little bit pricey at $49; however being able to impress all your friends with your fancy-looking console will probably be worth it.
For those of you out there who want more bling for your buck, you could always try the Champagne Gold Shell, however it is more of a bronze than gold and not quite as impressive looking as the ocean blue shell.
Nerd Scale Rating (1-lowest, 10-highest)
I'm going to rank this up as a 6, since anyone willing to shell out $49 just to fancify their system has to be pretty nerdy. Other nerds will probably only be slightly jealous if you own this.
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New attempts show that MarioKart WILL work on a USA console with the Freeloader.
This is a response to the blog entry about how the Japanese Mario Kart will not work on any other system, even by using the Freeloader. National Console Support, a vendor of the Freeloader, tested out the disc and sorted out the related problems. Apparently, there is a firmware update for the Wii entitled "3.1U" that will fix whatever problem occurs with the Freeloader and allows you to play the game.
Check here to see the comparative tests they performed.
As of right now however, it is unknown as to whether it will work on any other region-specific systems.
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That's right folks. Some said science couldn't do it. But we said, "Fuck you science!" and kicked that guy in the face. The female bots are full of Femmzoil and ready to go!
10. Kaciebot 360
Kaciebot comes with a full synthesizer and beautiful vox effects! This black and white photo doesn't do her fabulous glow red eyes justice.
9. Robo-Hinasaki
I have never met this robot. I heard she is not PS3 compatible, so keep your USB cable to yourself, Sony!
8. TI Vixon 32
This robot may be foxy, but she has a bite like a bear trap! Seriously. Keep your limbs, genitals, and face away from her metal teeth.
7. Sadietron G2008
The newest in the Sadietron series, this fembot specializes in gun proficiency. Did you lend your friend $20 and he never paid you back? Have Sadietron G2008 hunt him down and blow his face off! Amaze and frighten your neighbors!
6. Foxtoid 040108 Girl
Don't buy this robot. It will touch you...in places....*shudder* Moving on...
5. Pink-O-Matic Sage Series
One of our newer line robots, she is fully equipped with synthetic but life-like lips! This provides easy access to her circuits for repairs. Also comes with a fully stocked game library.
(WARNING: Inserting appendages into mouth opening may result in electricution, heart attack, and death).
4. RioCom
Ever wished you had a lady friend to sew your clothes and make you neat things? Now you can buy a robot lady friend who does just that! RioCom is literally a hat-making machine!
3. VirtualGirl AI
Do you have a thing for girls with funny colored hair? Alien fetishers and otaku alike can appreciate the unnatural glow of the VirtualGirl AI. With our new and improved GREEN LED eye lights, your friends might let this alien robot abduct them.
2. Atheistiumzor
Atheistiumzor is our newest self-protection unit. Programmed with Tae-Kawn Do and jujitsu, she will be sure to kick the ass of any strange men trying to touch you inappropriately, people who cut in front of you in the fast food line, and Hilary Clinton. Keep her by your side and you will be safe from harm. Forever.
1. Collette Bennettotron
As our top-of-the-line model, Collette Bennettotron can do your blogging for you! Packed with the newest blogging software. People will read your blog and say, "You totally didn't write this you ass, you got your sexy robot to do it!" And you will laugh at their misfortune of not owning a sexy robot. Sucks to be them.
And that concludes my list of the sexiest robots women of the D-toid community. All will eventually be available in the store soon. Prices will most likely range between $9,999,999-99,999,999.95, so start saving for the purchase of a lifetime! Early bird special: First 100 orders will receive a Foxtoid 040108 Girl free!*
*This gift is not optional and cannot be returned.
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Another study proving that video games don't lead to violence.
Check out the full story here.
Here's the excerpt I found most interesting:
The new study found that "There were actually higher levels of relaxation before and after playing the [violent] game as opposed to experiencing anger but this did very much depend on personality type." The researchers also hope this study will pave the way to finding the "personality type" that is more likely to "transfer their online aggression into everyday life." Their aim is a public health policy that addresses troubled young people, not video game players at large.
See? Personality, not video games, is what determines a person's behavior. Simply taking video games away from aggressive people doesn't stop the problem. If anything it makes it worse, since people with aggressive tendencies would no longer how an outlet for their aggression (this is not scientifically proven of course, just a personal opinion).
Of course later in the article it compares gamers to autistic people, but we can just ignore that part. A have a very social group of gaming friends, so I think the study might not be showcasing the majority. I'm a shy person, but not THAT shy.
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As a gamer in Jersey, I'm sad to say how much I miss all the West Coast Action. The Classic Gaming Expo in Las Vegas, E3 (RIP) in California, and PAX in Seattle (which I'm attending anyway). However, NJ is home to some other piece of awesome, and people in the Tri-State area should check some of it out.
DigitalLife Expo
Not technically in Jersey, NYC is close enough by train or bus. This is more of an electronics expo than gaming, but they have lots of cool game-related stuff and raffles. Last year I hit this one booth up all four days and pretended like I hadn't taken their survey they day before and ended up with $20 in Best Buy giftcards! Hooray for screwing up product surveys! It's pretty fun because there you can demo some fun stuff like Headplay, or play a racing game in an actual race car. The Guitar Hero III area had a place to sit with REAL (expensive) guitars with headphones so you're musical stylings wouldn't add to the noise level. A decent amount of swag. My friends and I accidentally ended up with about 5 free toothbrushes each because there was some sort of beauty expo next door and they wanted us to pay them $50 to go in (nice try).
Digital Life 06: Final Fantasy XII Stairs! My camera was dead all day but I needed this shot. I asked that guy on the stairs to please get up for a second but he wouldn't. Jerk.
Digital Life 07: Guitar Hero III guitar area. This was in addition to about 15 TVs with demos of the game.
More 07. This is the creator of the online game Kart Racer getting interviewed. That game is awesome by the way, it's line online MarioKart.
Digital Press (The Store)
I'm seeing a pattern here with the word 'digital...' Anyway, Digital Press is THE place to get retro games in NJ. Period. At each of the two Gamestops I worked at, I referred people to this store when they were looking to buy or trade in older games and systems. The guy who owns the place, Joe Santulli, is a really great guy who's done a lot for the gaming community. He's the editor-in-chief for the Digital Press Video Game Collectors Guide and began the Digital Press project in 1991. Since that time he has also been a staff writer for Electronic Games Magazine (1995), Video Game Collector (2004) and Tips & Tricks Magazine (2001-present). He also is one of the organizers of the Classic Video Game Expo in Las Vegas.
The store itself is really amazing. As well as boasting the most popular retro gaming systems and games, there's a mini-museum and a PC cafe. The store also hosts NAVA meetings and events. I think they can also help you when it comes to fixing old systems, but don't quote me on that one. It also has, along with regular arcade machines, a MAME (Multiple Arcade Machine Emulator). This MAME helped me to discover that the Sailor Moon sidescrolling fighting game is effing hard.
The website is www.digitpress.com, it's not just for the store though. Digital Press is it's own little online community. Every once in a while I yoink some of the free stuff from my Gamestop friends and give it to Joe, since he's pretty good about stuff like calling you if a game you're looking for has been traded in to the store. This is where I got my copy of Wetrix for N64.
In short, it is awesome. It's also literally 5 minutes down the road from where I live. Effing sweet.
Eight on the Break
Probably one of the best (and cheapest) arcades I've ever been to. It's also a Bemani fan's dream. 75 cent Beatmania 2DX DISTORTED, 50 cent DDR Extreme Mix, as well as Pump it Up Pro and In the Groove 2. At 35 years, it is the longest continually operated arcade in the US. It hosts many national and even world arcade tournaments, many of them In the Groove or DDR tourneys. They have a pinball room, billiards, and lots of other good stuff (Marvel vs. Capcom, Marvel vs SNK 2, Time Crisis 3, etc). I actually went there this past Saturday, and it was, needless to say, awesome. Let me tell you, Spiderman and Megaman make a good team in Marvel vs. Capcom. They also had an old Bust-A-Move machine which I favored much of the night; I hadn't played since they re-did the arcade in my area when I was in high school (they made it little-kid themed). Way back when they used to have a Para Para Paradise machine, which was so ridiculously fun to play. They had the old Simpsons arcade game but unfortunately, it wasn't in good shape (the screen was a little messed up at the top and you could only play as Lisa Simpson). I think they switch out some of their games every so often.
But I think one of the best parts about this arcade is the food. Super. Effing. Cheap. The "Special of the Day" (for the past 35 years) is the cheesesteak combo. Cheesesteak, fries, and a soda for $4. There is absolutely nothing on the menu that is more than $4. Chicken nuggets, hamburgers, fries, soft pretzels--most are less than $3.
They have a website as well, check it out for their full game list, upcoming tourneys, etc.
http://thebreak.net/
And that is why living Jersey is better than you may think. Sure, 50% of the state is covered in asphalt, but the rest is covered in sweet gaming paradise.
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As I'm sure anyone who has worked in retail knows, there are many, many stupid people out there. Some of them want you to sell them things. Unfortunately, they are not sure what they want to buy or what they just bought and that is your fault.
So I would like to share in your pain, and tell you of the idiocy that happens when you work for a game company.
Scenario #1: Customer Buys a New Game and Doesn't Like It.
Stupid Customer: I bought this game and my son/daughter/husband/dog didn't like it. I want to return it.
Employee: Did you buy it new?
SC: Yes.
E: Is the disc broken or defective in any way?
SC: No. It's just a bad game.
E: Well, I can't return it. It was a new game and it was opened. Since we can no longer resell it as a new game, it can't be returned.
SC: What? But this game is bad. YOU sold me a bad game, and now you won't let me return it??
E: You can trade it in for store credit, but it won't be like a full refund.
SC: OK, well how much would I get?
E (checks computer): $20 in store credit, $16 in cash.
SC: WHAT? I paid $50 for this garbage! I want to see your manger.
The story ends differently. One store I worked at, the manager was bad and would take the disc back as defective, giving the customer store credit. Anyone who has taken Psych 101 knows that reinforcing bad behavior means it will repeat. A good manager will tell the customer they are out of luck, and a great manager will eventually tell the customer to please leave the store, we can't help you, you dumb bitch.
Scenario #2: Customer Buys Used Product that is Defective, Thinks He/She Should Get Special Treatment
This happened to me on Christmas Eve. This guy came into the store with a refurbished PS2 (which we always tell people not to buy because Sony does a shitty job fixing them).
The exact words out of this man's mouth: "I bought a refurbished PS2 here and it doesn't work. I deserve a new one for the price I paid for this one."
This guy did not give up. We told him we could get him one that was used and test it right there in the store to make sure it worked, but that wasn't good enough. He wanted a new one. We told him it was impossible to do that, since the computers have no way of making the sale without 1. making stock look like we were missing a new PS2 2. making the register look like it was short $30.
The man was not happy.
He started to yell. He said he wanted to see the manager. The girl he was talking too Bonnie, was the ASM and manager on duty. She told him it was absolutlely impossible. He went on about how he shouldn't have to come to the mall on Christmas Eve, how it was a present for his nephew and now it didn't work. So, in my eyes it made this guy a super asshole, because what kind of jerk isn't willing to spring an extra $30 for his nephew's Christmas present? Bonnie tells the man that the district manager Romaine is in the mall, and she will call him and have him come over. He agrees to wait.
Romaine (God bless him!) makes the man wait about 45 minutes (on purpose) before he shows up. He uses his fabulous charisma to calm the man down, apologizes to the man about the broken system, and tells him that unfortunately a new PS2 cannot be used to replace a used one. He hands the man some coupons and says that instead, he can offer him some vouchers to get money off on games the next time he comes in. The man, much calmer after having no one to yell at for 45 minutes, agrees and leaves. Bonnie asks Romaine where he got the vouchers from and he laughs.
"Oh those? Those were just coupons we were going to hand out for the after-Christmas sales anyway."
WAAAH WAAAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Romaine was the best district manager ever.
Scenario #3: The People You Work With Are Just As Stupid As the Customers
This one is short, I promise.
A young girl and her brother walk into the store. I ask them if they need help.
"Yeah, do you have Final Fantasy VII for Gamecube?"
I explain to her that FFVII was not made for Gamecube, and that no gaming store in the area would have it in stock. She would only be able to find it on the internet and if she did, it would be between $75-$100.
"But....the other store said you would have it."
Needless to say. the store across the hall from us was full of idiots and jerks. I am so glad my sister hid a piece of friend chicken in the ceiling before she quit that store.
I have plenty more stories, but most of them are one liners, like the time my assistant manager got smacked by a customer because we didn't have any Wiis in stock, or the time some high school jerk said I was a fucking bitch because when the Wii interactive was first out, you needed a license to play (since the controller wasn't attached to the interactive, we kept the license as collateral).
No matter how stupid the customers, working in gaming retail is worth it. Because when there are no customers, it means we can slip whatever games we want into the interactives and throw things at each other, undisturbed by the outside world. What a great job that was.
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Ah hearkening back to the original April Fools, those who continued to celebrated April 1st as the new year after the calendar change. Or something like that.
I'm not a staunch believer in celebrating April Fool's day, since one particular incident in high school. A friend of mine, let's call him "Asshat" decided to play a little prank. A group of us were waiting at "bob's" house for Asshat to show up. He called saying his car had been stolen and he was stranded on the shoulder of Rt 80. Freaked out, Bob and Asshat's girlfriend drove all over 80, visited the police, and tried to call Asshat numerous times, but to no avail. We had no clue where he was. Of course, he showed up at Bob's house an hour later yelling, "April Fools!" Needless to say, Asshat's girlfriend and Bob beat the living shit out of him. And in retaliation a few days later we toilet papered the inside of his car (his fault for leaving it unlocked).
So, while I can appreciate the jokes, it's not really my style. Plus, I'm super lazy.
Anyway, I found something that I want. Pixel jewelry. I'm pretty sure it's meant as an art piece and you can't buy it, but whatever.
I would feel like an old school Princess. :)
Here's the artist site: http://www.velvetdavinci.com/allimages.php?action=artist&id=155
Apparently they take photos of famous jewelry and super pixelate, then somehow reproduce them in leather? Crazy man.
Ehhh time to spend April Fool's Day with mint ice cream and either Viva Pinata or the Orange Box...because, April Fools to my teachers, I accidentally slept through all of my classes.
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People in America nowadays are very reluctant to admit their own stupid mistakes. Someone spills hot coffee on their lap, and it's the company's fault who provided the coffee. Or wait, no, you're just an idiot. The same thing is happening in the gaming world. People like Jack Thompson believe that video games lead to more violent behavior in children. I personally think that domestic violence is probably a bigger factor, but of course, it is much more profitable to blame the gaming industry.
Luckily, the Byron Report in the UK does not support Jack Thompson in his theory. There has been no conclusive evidence to say that video games can promote violent behavior in children. However, the Byron Report does strike what could turn out to be a substantial blow to the gaming industry. It is going to require the game industry to put more money towards educating parents on game ratings.
I'm not sure about the UK, but here in the US the ratings seem pretty clear. They are always displayed on the back of the box, along with an extensive list of reasons why the game has earned its current rating. Signs are displayed all over Gamestops not only displaying the ESRB's rating system, but advising parents to look at the ratings on the games! And yet parents still don't bother.
Within the past year, it is required of video game retailers such as Gamestop to ask for ID when anyone attempts to buy a rated-M game. Failure to ask a customer for an ID could result in not only the guilty employee being fired, but the manager as well. Needless to say, we all took the responsibility pretty seriously. Where I worked, we were also in the practice of reading the list of reasons off of the back of the box so the parents would clearly understand what they were buying for their children. Although I must say, part of that was for the sheer pleasure of a hearing the mother's response, "You put that game back. We're not buying it." "But Mom, I play it at Timmy's house all the time!" "Well you can keep playing it at Timmy's house, because I'm not buying it for you." It was the smallest bit of revenge we could get on those little brats, after they had spent at least a half hour de-alphabetizing the games in every section of the store.
But what was more disturbing to me was the number of parents who simply did not care. One woman was buying Saint's Row for her 11-year-old kid and when I told her about the rating simply sighed and said "It doesn't matter, he already has Grand Theft Auto." At the mention of the name, the kid's eyes lit up and he started talking excitedly, "Oh yeah that game is awesome! You just run around and shoot everybody! Or you can pull them out of their cars and run them over!" and he kept going. I was horrified that a kid this young was excited about violence. Not only that, but his mom didn't seem to be bothered at all.
The information is there for parents to access. There is no excuse anymore. Video game ratings are becoming as widely known as movie ratings. Parents should be involved enough in a child's life to know what games they are playing. Gamestop provides information pamphlets and (in good stores anyway) makes sure that parents are informed on what they're buying their kids. Most of all, parents should take responsibility for their own ignorance. A parent came in once to return a game because she didn't realize how violent it was until she watched her kid play it. She didn't blame the store or the company that made the game. She took responsibility not only by returning the game without a hassle but also by watching what her kid was playing. It's that simple folks.
However, violence isn't the only thing that points and accusing finger. People are also starting to blame adolescent obesity on video games.
Let's start with one of the people I 'strongly dislike' the most (he doesn't deserve the energy of my hate). Jared the Subway guy. Let's be clear that his campaign alone makes me angry. You can lose 250lbs by eating Subway? What about going home and making yourself a damn salad? Subway sandwiches are 90% shredded lettuce anyway, so there's not really much difference. Yes, eating Subway can help you lose weight. You know what else does? Bulimia. That doesn't mean you should do it.
So back to the subject. Jared was quoted as saying that the reason he was obese was because as a kid he "usually had one hand on the controller and one in a bag of chips." Well that might explain why he initially gained weight but once he started packing the pounds did he ever think, "Man, these pants are a little tight. Maybe I should start jogging or something. Well, 250lbs+ later it's pretty clear that the thought never crossed his mind.
Yes, in many ways, Jared has admitted that it was his own bad habits that lead to his weight gain. However it was irresponsible of him to make a statement that, to many, indicates video games as being the cause as opposed to lack of intrinsic motivation. I'm sure many have heard this careless comment in the gaming community at one point and felt outrage. It's insulting not because of the statement itself, but because people will interpret what he has said as "Video games made me fat." People today are just as stupid as they are irresponsible, and will jump at any chance dump the blame on someone besides themselves.
To conclude, this article proves that I had a bad day. You probably noticed how long and ranty it was. It is especially angry because I spent a half hour writing it, then accidentally closed the tab it was in and had to write it again. This entry is comprised of a full day's worth of FEMININE ANGER, which would otherwise have been released upon the poor, unsuspecting ears of my significant other.
By reading this, you have saved a man from a fearful encounter of an hour long, nonstop stream of complaining. I commend you on your bravery.
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