ninjapresident's Profile - Destructoid

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Oh, hey! How did you wind up here? Oh, well, I guess I better tell you some stuff about me. I love games (especially really weird Japanese ones!) and try to be a friendly person. Some of my favorite games in no particular order are the Kururin games, the Umihara Kawase series, anything made by Tim Schafer, the Half-Minute Hero series, the Bit.Trip series, games made by Valve (except Ricochet :( ) , etc. I generally have an open mind and will listen to what you have to say, so if you wanna throw some thoughts at me, I'd be happy to reply! I'll make a blog entry one of these days, so hope for that! Oh, yeah, I also have a Backloggery here: . So Steam or PSN me, we'll have a real good time! :)
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It's 11'o'clock at night. A young man sits in front of his dimly-lit computer monitor, staring at endless amounts of web pages. He is finished with his normal routine of lollygagging on the internet and proceeds to go to a website called “The Pirate Bay”. He will then find some torrents of his interest, and begin to download them. One of them is a video game he has been wanting since it first was announced. He sits in his chair, giddy with excitement, knowing he'll be able to play it on launch day.

Piracy in the gaming industry has largely been frowned upon. Publishers feel like they are being fed upon by packs of rats, who don't give anything back in return; rats only gorging on eyes that were obviously (and in their mind, rightfully) theirs. Some developers see their hard work being unappreciated, and begin to feel sad and/or angry that people are playing the hard work without paying for it. But what if they're is something the both are not seeing? What if those developers' works are being appreciated? What if those eyes those rats are stealing are stolen for reasons that could help publishers see something differently for the long run?

Media is increasing in price, and consumers are straggling to keep up to the rapid pace that development is taking. Game development budgets are reaching an all-time high, expectations of sales are becoming outrageous, and prices of video games are steadily going up as well. The limited budgets of a gamer is causing bad situations for the consumer and the supplier. Publishers seem to be afraid of risks, yet all they do is keep pouring in money to something they “think” is going to do well. Why?
Money is being overspent and spent in the wrong places. Publishers invest all their money into surefire hits, only to be in need of major financial support after a project flops. Spending money on DRM is futile when in this day and age, it's only to get patched within a few days, sometimes on the same day of release. With technology advancing at such a rapid speed and publishers' mindsets staying the same, prices are only going to go even further up. And this is going to really hurt them in the long run.

With all these prices going up, it's going to make it increasingly hard for the consumer to keep up as well. And if they can't keep up, they'll either stop spending or turn to piracy. A lot of times, people who pirate things want to pay for them. They just don't have the means to do so. The digital market has created something great. It gets rid of physical constraints, and when priced right, outsells physical copies. If you want piracy to go down, you lower the prices to digital copies, plain and simple. Those who prefer physical media will continue to do so (and could possibly give them a real value again, thick manuals ahoy!) and you have better odds of more people buying a copy of the game then they would before because of the lower digital price point.

We don't need insane amounts of money to make a good game. We don't need the best, cutting-edge graphics out there to make a good game. We don't need all these technological advancements as long as the gameplay innovation is there. We need money to be spent better. We need everyone to treat the forefront of graphics as a niche thing and get back to what makes a good game again. Gamers should want a future where we are a generation back from the technology currently out. It would cause things to be cheaper for them in the long run and make the gate bigger for those who want to play games. A lower price sets a lower entry bar, and that can only hold good things as long as a game isn't undervalued.

Let's go back to the young man I told you about in the beginning. Let's say that he doesn't have a lot of money to throw around. He tries to save up for the titles he really wants, but he can't always afford them. The cost of video game media has made video games a luxury for him and some of the people around him. And because of his plight, he's found out some ironic things. Like how got a cracked version of Spore without DRM, but the ones around him who bought it had DRM. Or the time he pirated a copy of L.A. Noire and the developers received the same amount of money from him as those who went out and bought the game.

But he's also found that there is a world of games that he's never even imagined before. Old DOS titles and unearthed PC games have found new life. He will tell his friends about them, and news will spread. He'll find Japanese imports that would have never been released in America but have fan-patches so he can enjoy them all the same. He'll tell his friends about these games too, and news will spread again. Later he finds out that PC series he played has been rebooted for a whole new generation of gamers. And that Japanese game? The sequel is getting localized and due to be released in a few months.

Piracy is getting games played. Piracy is breathing life into franchises, old and new. And Piracy should be giving publishers a new set of eyes, not making them use the same ones when the problem persists. Piracy is a thing that is helping out publishers and developers. They just got to find the right mindset to see it. And if they do that? Well, we'll all be better off for it.

It's 11'o'clock at night. A young man sits in front of his dimly-lit computer monitor, staring at endless amounts of web pages. He is finished with his normal routine of lollygagging on the internet and proceeds to go to a website called “The Pirate Bay”. He will then find some torrents of his interest, and begin to download them. One of them is a video game he has been wanting since it first was announced. He sits in his chair, giddy with excitement, knowing he'll be able to play it on launch day. What he doesn't know is that millions of other people just like him are changing the industry as we know it. All it's got to take is a new set of eyes on an old problem.
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Psssssh. You and you people calling Dibs on everything. Why call Dibs on things when you can just eat them? I mean, come on, it may look enticing, all of the sexiness, no actual commitment. But by doing this, you’re only tasting the the bland chocolatey wrapper sprinkled with nuts instead of the mouthwatering ice cream that lays inside as well. You’re missing out, and deep inside you know it. It pains you, yet you cannot stop. “Why change the way things are when they’re going fine?” you force yourself to believe. It’s a sad sight, and your family pines for your true happiness as these late night calls slowly tear your ability to love apart. However, this gives me my opportunity to tell you why having Dibs is the best way to play Borderlands 2, so I guess I’ll let it slide. Just this once. In the meantime, get your life together; we love you and hope you get well soon.

You Just Got Dumped By Your Partner and Now You’re Really Sad

Life sucks. You just got dumped by your partner who you had been going steady with for 37 years. You decided to wallow in shame by pre-ordering Borderlands 2 and playing with your friends when you get it. That will null the pain and give you closure, you decide. Anxiously you wait, time slowly passing by until its release date. When you finally get it in the mail (you ordered it from, you realize you have no friends. You cry into your mailbox, wondering why bad things happen to you. People stare at you with blank eyes as you continue to weep, but you don’t care. Life sucks. You think you have nothing to hold on to, nothing to tell you everything will be alright. And then you remember you won a life long supply of Dibs.
Suddenly, everything is alright. Unicorns spring out of the bushes farting rainbows from the heavens. The clouds also begin to shoot rainbows down from the sky, which slowly pours down onto the children below who eat it like candy. You run back into your house with a new sense of urgency, dashing by three wolves howling at the moon. As you open your refrigerator door, light shimmers through the cracks, illuminating your joyous face. You peer into the open gap of the freezer, looking at the shelves stocked with rows and rows of Dibs. Which flavor should you choose? Mint? Vanilla? No, the choice is obvious. You quickly grab the container with the word “Nestlč Crunch” in big bold letters on the front of the packaging and pry it open with your grubby hands. Inside are delectable little balls of chocolate goodness, and your mouth becomes wetter then your grandmother being caressed by her lover in a bathtub.
You walk into your living room, pop in Borderlands 2 into your favorite console, and sit down on the couch, tub of Dibs in hand. As the title screen boots up, you pick up your tarnished spoon and begin to dig in. The flavor pulses throughout your body and you are the happiest you’ve ever been in your life. You pick up your swelled hands and push the button on the controller to start the game. In the middle of the opening cutscene, you die due to your extreme peanut allergy that you just happened to forget about. It was a good moment you’ll never forget, and you died happily. What more could you ask for?

If You Say Borderlands 2 and Nestle Dibs Crunch Bite Sized Frozen Snacks Value Pack Like They’re One Thing, It Makes You Think of Flavors Your Mind Could Never Have Even Thought Of Before

Borderlands 2.
Nestle Dibs Crunch Bite Sized Frozen Snacks Value Pack.

By themselves, they are only two great things. But to quote my friend Mr. Indie Developer, “Hey, why don’t we put a bunch of things in a bundle and make people buy it so we can buy soup this month?”
So I did put them in a bundle. But not an ordinary bundle, oh no. I went Shin Megami Tensei fusion on this crap and made 100s of different possibilities. I will present two for your viewing pleasure:

Borderlands 2 Nestle Dibs Crunch Bite Sized Frozen Snacks Value Pack.
Nestle Dibs Crunch Bite Sized Frozen Snacks Value Pack Borderlands 2.

*this is the part where your brain explodes from all of the awesome that emits from the almost infinite amount of combinations that you can make from these two delectable things*

It’s Like Finding Loot In Real Life, Except Without All the Hard Parts In Finding Loot

After the government took away all of guns, it made my life substantial harder. I had to leave everyone I love, and go on a journey of solitude away from this post-apocalyptic jail of consumerism and the illuminati. It was the only way I could survive. So I built a shack in the middle of the woods, found some Jimmy Choo shoes in the trash can, and started my new life. After searching so long for supplies and hunting my food in the wilderness one day, I needed the break. While I didn’t want to go back into the real world, I had to. If only for the Dibs. I went down to my closest Piggly Wiggly and quickly walked to the freezer section at my earliest convenience. When I found the Dibs, I was in 7th Heaven. My role was not really important (I just landed the role of an extra), I was just a person who happened to be at the right place at the right time. I even got to shake Stephen Collins’ hand! I quickly checked out after the shoot was wrapped up and went on my Mary Camden way. After getting home, I popped in Borderlands 2 and ate my Dibs. That, my friends, is true bliss.

There Are Only Three Hundred and Fifty Calories In Twenty Six Dibs

After getting off of the Adventurer’s Diet, I needed a way in keeping up my healthy, pro-thin attitudes. I was trying to find a healthy alternative to the Big Mac, and I almost gave up. But then, I found out about Dibs. Did you know there are only 350 calories in 26 Dibs? There are! After switching to the Dibs diet, I am only kind-of fat, and feel great! I can even play Borderlands 2 for extended periods of time without getting hand cramps or feeling tired as well! I recommend switching over to the Dibs diet if you like Dibs.

They Are Dibs

This one pretty much explains itself. All hail the mighty Dibs!

So, yeah. That’s why I’m calling Dibs. You’d be stupid not to. But, ha! You guys are stupid, because none of you had called Dibs yet. Sucks to suck, guys! However, if you guys decide to stop calling Dibs, I might share a little. A little, you hear? Like, only a handful. You should feel grateful that I’m offering you guys anything at all. So, yeah, pledge to stop calling Dibs. You be glad you did, and end up more satisfied in the long run. It only takes that first step.
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First off, hello! Welcome to me deciding to ramble on for no reason! This is gonna be fun and get funky fresh! Possibly. Maybe I'll say something interesting to you! Maybe I won't! But that's part of the adventure! Anywho, onto the rambling...

I beat Analogue: A Hate Story last night and found all 5 endings (might do a little more playing of it, just to get the other chevos and extra content I missed.) I was really captivated by it, and the story was very interesting. The vast differences of Hyun-ae and Mute really fleshed out the story and gave a sense of personality to the logs you would dig up in the game. Overall, it was a very good Visual Novel and I can't wait to see what else Love (the game's creator; if you want to find out more about her, she was on an episode of Sup, Holmes) will make. Also, the soundtrack was amazing, and really set the ambiance quite nicely. I'm glad to have it.

Speaking of Visual Novels, I spontaneously decided to make one of my own. I'm mostly learning Ren'Py (a visual novel maker) so I can do justice to my story and instead of just throwing it in a heap and calling it done. I don't want to spoil too much for you guys right now, just know it's about hard choices and has a heavier emphasis on sound rather then graphics. The title is "In Three Words" and will be free when I release it (I guess you could always donate money to me or something if you like it, but I'd rather you sent that money to charity or something. I mean, I can't stop you, but... I'm just kidding, I don't expect any money to come out of this. I just hope people like it.). To get you in the mood of the game, I've decided on the game's main menu theme. Take a look at it here: .

I'm actually listening to that album right now, and it's really good! I'm a pretty big Vocaloid fan, and have been listening to a heavy amount of Vocaloid stuff lately. I actually got into Hatsune Miku and the gang from an indirect recommendation on Scissors' backloggery of Hatsune Miku Project Diva 2nd. I was in need of a good rhythm game for my PSP, so I decided to try it! To speed up the story, I loved it and began to search out for other Hatsune Miku songs. I eventually branched off from just Miku to all the Vocaloids, but that was a process in itself. There's so much Vocaloid stuff out there, I'm constantly finding new stuff all of the time. I still play Project Diva a lot, but I've had to restart my process (after accidentally deleting my save in Half-Minute Hero 2 :l). Recently picked up some DLC for Project Diva after I found out there was iDOLM@STER DLC for it and have been playing that stuff recently.

I actually bought The iDOLM@STER 2 for the PS3 from Play-Asia a few days ago (I now have no monies...), so I can't wait for that to come in the mail! I became a fan of iM@S stuff after playing the fan translated PSP one right after I beat Project Diva. To best sum it up, the game is a simulation game with rhythm game elements splashed throughout. You pick the idol you want, and then strive to make her the best she can possibly be. Failure is an interesting concept in this game, because you still progress even after failing events. Game play is done on a week by week basis, so if you screw up one week, you better do all you can next week if you want your idol to get anywhere. It's weird, the game really made me feel bad when I failed and made me want to improve. I felt determined to do the best for Haruka (she was the idol I picked, and has been my favorite since the beginning!), and make her top idol. The story isn't that deep and the gameplay of the one I played wasn't just stand out fantastic, but it's really engaging for some reason I haven't quite placed my finger on. So after beating that game, I decided to watch the anime, which is based off the events of the second game, and loved every minute of it. It was very well done, and very true to the individual characters. I'm going to lose a lot of the story playing 2, but hopefully there are enough translated videos online so I can get the most out of scripted events. Luckily, they improved the actual gameplay tenfold so that part is a lot more enjoyable now. I know I'll have a great time with it, I just wish it was in english :P

It's a shame there are so many series that never get localized or ever get to see the light of day in another country. There's always importing, but that can be expensive and story heavy games will be almost unplayable. I'm really thankful for fan translation, and it always warms my heart to be able to play something that I've been wanting to play for a while, but couldn't fully enjoy without knowing what was being said. Currently waiting for Captain Rainbow, Segagaga, and Moon RPG to finish their translations.
Can't wait to play those (hopefully they get finished!).

Oh yeah, this is the part where I tell you imports that you probably haven't heard of that you should play. Some of my favorites are ChainDive, Umihara Kawase Shun, the Kururin series (Nintendo better release a new one for the WiiU), and the Vib-Ribbon series (my personal favorite is Mojib-Ribbon). There are a bunch more I probably could talk about, but that's probably enough for a whole blog, which I might make at a different time, who knows.

GET SUPER HEXAGON, LOVE SUPER HEXAGON, LOVE TERRY. Currently working on beating all the hyper modes (only have beaten Hard, Harder, and Hardest). That's about it for this one. Sorry :P

I beat McPixel, that was great, go buy it as well and laugh your head off.

It seems I'm about done here. This was fun guys, hope I can do this kind-of thing again. You guys should talk about things in the comments, and then we can have more random conversations to add to the random babbling. See you next time (or if you ask me a question, I guess)!

We haven't even started the post's text yet and I'm giving you some leg

Hello fellow Dtoiders!
Have you ever had the chance to be in the top scores on Super Crate Box? Of course you haven't! That place is only for people like me, silly. However, with this cool, one-of-a-kind avatar, you too could at least pretend to be someone important! Just imagine the swooning! The girls/boys will come for miles to see you and your precious avatar you have so lovingly adopted. If that doesn't already have you getting hot pants, well, girl/boy, you are in for a treat. Let's look at all of my wonderful achievements that you could claim to be your own!

This is what Super Crate Box looks like. Unfortunately, they are not me, so they will not get the high scores. Let us weep for them.

One time, I actually beat game.
No, seriously, I HAVE beaten a game before. Let's try this again, maybe you'll get the concept if I put it into a nice story:

Even though she is smiling, it's only because she pines for his happiness.

Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Nathaniel. He worked on a farm, and would clean up the pigs' pen everyday from 4 A.M. to 4:05 A.M. Nathaniel did not know what to do with such a long work schedule. He couldn't do anything, like play with the boys in the city. They would all laugh at him after his hard day of work and tease him because he was poor (who actually works?) Nathaniel was ashamed of who he was. But as you know, fate never leaves you, even if you try to run. So, Nathaniel became a farmer just like his father and was never happy with his life. Years later, ninjapresident beat a game and Nathaniel's life may or may have not been improved because of it. Which brings us to my next point...

I (and some other people) cured AIDS by watching the Ghana film 12:00 1



I'm a ninja AND a president, so let's get cheeseburgers!

I think the saddest part of this tale is that I actually beat Bad Dudes on the NES. Although, that is one great ending. 'MERICA.

I speed run VVVVVV and Umihara Kawase Shun every once in a while.

If you learn anything my post (other then how awesome and mighty I am and to drink more Ovaltine), it should be that VVVVVV and Umihara Kawase Shun are some of the greatest platformers ever created. Seriously, if you haven't played them, you really need to. If you're a fan of platformers, you won't regret it. So, yeah, play them, memorize all the short cuts, beat them when you get bored, etc. They're sooooooo good.

What looks like an innocent game about a 19 year old girl in a fish bowl will eat you alive. This game makes Bionic Commando's grappling hook look like a little girl

So, bullet hells are pretty good.

Yeah, they're pretty good. Who's ready for the American port of Under Defeat HD? I know I am!


I'm making a video game with some fellow DTOIDers called, "Child Wrangler."

This was concept art for our Ludum Dare game (pshhh, you ain't gettin' no Child Wrangler screens just yet). Let's just say, something happened along the way :P

Annnnnnnnnnnd we're also finishing up on our Ludum Dare 24 Game Jam Entry (hopefully, it'll at least make you laugh). Check out that later, yo. And that leads me to my last point...

I love DTOID, and most importantly, the community.

Like, for realizes. You guys are the best. I've always felt welcome here, and I try to extend that kindness to anyone my way. You guys are great, and I've made a lot of friendships on this site (for those of you that don't know me, I'd love to be your friend too!). Seriously. It's hard, being a weird guy out in the world sometimes, and sometimes you feel as if you're the only one of you kind. But you guys, gosh, a whole community of people like me is awesome. Hugs all around.

You guys are seriously, like, the best.

So, yep! There she blows! Hope I at least caught your eye (I make for a good mannequin on display sometimes :P) Take me to PAX, I'll love you for ever, etc, etc. Oh and yeah- Polygamy: It's what's for dinner!

There's been a war going on in the cblogs. A deadly war. I remember a happier time, one where it didn't matter what kind of undies you put on, because, you were a loved member of the community. Points weren't talked about with anger, they were done with sophistication (although, possibly a crude joke or two might get in the way, but we would laugh it off and keep the discussion flowing.) Because, well, it was the DTOID way. Life went on after heavy discussions (as it should), and relationships would never be broken by a matter of opinion because these relationships were so strong. But something within us snapped. And we became divided. Choice words were said and before we knew it, The Boxers and Briefs War began.

What happened to us? Why did we go down this path? Why did we start hating people for their beliefs on things, instead of hating the opinions they have? In fact, how did we get so enveloped with anger? I don't have the answers to these questions, as I haven't been looking for the signs. My eyes were pointed to the skies; I hadn't noticed what was going down on the ground. Maybe one day, some brave fellow will come along and tell his account of what happened. All I can do now is commentate on the current state of chaos.

It hasn't been that hard to find a blog about boxers or briefs these days on the cblogs. There are many different views on the subject, all varying in some way and each showing different traits of the person expressing them. It's fine to express your opinion. Maybe you like boxers. Maybe you like briefs. Maybe you don't care what you wear, as long as there's something down there. You have an opinion, and that's fine to have. You have the choice to share it, and that's fine as well. But if you do, please do it with respect and know what you're saying. It hurts people who share your viewpoint when you say things ignorantly. I understand that people are people, and each person doesn't have the same views as one another, but you have to understand that people group their opinions with the people who speak loudest, and not those with the best intentions. With all these varying opinions, there is confusion to be had, and that's understandable. Find out the truth for yourself, and do some digging. Life is different for every individual, and everyone comes from different walks of life. That's something we should embrace, and not shun away.

I can see an end in sight, but to get there, we're going to have to work together. We can't be divided by our preference of undergarments and let that tear us apart. We're going to have to look past our issues, and go on, man! Because this is one tight knit community. I can only hope the thread on the community's skivvies do not unravel. As Swishiee would say, "AQUABATS, WE GOT THIS!"

New to SuperD Funday Alright Wombatoid (different name each week, same ole SMNC)? It's a pretty simple concept, just a bunch of Dtoiders playing SMNC on mondays normally at either 9 or 10 Central. And it's super. And stuff. Join so I'm not so terribly lonely... I can only cry in a corner by myself for so long wondering what I did wrong...

Alright! It's that type of year again! E3? Naw, the playing of SMNC every monday of course! Who needs to watch about videogaumes when you can just play VIDERGAUMES? Especially ones that aren't finished. Who needs to be at E3 playing the newest game demos when you can be apart of a game that accidentally leaked onto Steam while still in beta? Same thing right? So, fun time, super time, Adventure Time, whatever it is, time to get down to business. We're rocking 10 Central tonight. We're up for any modes as long as matchmaking agrees with that sentiment. Come join us, it's the bess'. Hope to see you there! For now, enjoy the random con-vo-sation and gif.

sele@arch: my friend
sele@arch: i have no rolly desk
sele@arch: but i do have an awsome rolly chair
xplodepants: I wonder how many mishaps have happened at valve with that haha
sele@arch: awesome
sele@arch: ((
sele@arch: ROFL yes
xplodepants: I have carpet, so...
sele@arch: orly?
sele@arch: :/
sele@arch: im a pianist, gamer, and have arthritis
sele@arch: yet no carpel
xplodepants: wooh!
sele@arch: ikr?
sele@arch: makes me sad you get it
sele@arch: but not me
xplodepants: lulululululululu CARPET
sele@arch: LAWL
sele@arch: erm
sele@arch: scuse me