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5:08 PM on 08.27.2012 // ninjapresident
Adoption Want Ad: Um, Alligators Are Cool!


We haven't even started the post's text yet and I'm giving you some leg

Hello fellow Dtoiders!
Have you ever had the chance to be in the top scores on Super Crate Box? Of course you haven't! That place is only for people like me, silly. However, with this cool, one-of-a-kind avatar, you too could at least pretend to be someone important! Just imagine the swooning! The girls/boys will come for miles to see you and your precious avatar you have so lovingly adopted. If that doesn't already have you getting hot pants, well, girl/boy, you are in for a treat. Let's look at all of my wonderful achievements that you could claim to be your own!


This is what Super Crate Box looks like. Unfortunately, they are not me, so they will not get the high scores. Let us weep for them.

One time, I actually beat game.
No, seriously, I HAVE beaten a game before. Let's try this again, maybe you'll get the concept if I put it into a nice story:


Even though she is smiling, it's only because she pines for his happiness.

Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Nathaniel. He worked on a farm, and would clean up the pigs' pen everyday from 4 A.M. to 4:05 A.M. Nathaniel did not know what to do with such a long work schedule. He couldn't do anything, like play with the boys in the city. They would all laugh at him after his hard day of work and tease him because he was poor (who actually works?) Nathaniel was ashamed of who he was. But as you know, fate never leaves you, even if you try to run. So, Nathaniel became a farmer just like his father and was never happy with his life. Years later, ninjapresident beat a game and Nathaniel's life may or may have not been improved because of it. Which brings us to my next point...

I (and some other people) cured AIDS by watching the Ghana film 12:00 1


NEVER AGAIN

MARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRK! *Cues Uncharted music.*

I'm a ninja AND a president, so let's get cheeseburgers!

I think the saddest part of this tale is that I actually beat Bad Dudes on the NES. Although, that is one great ending. 'MERICA.



I speed run VVVVVV and Umihara Kawase Shun every once in a while.

If you learn anything my post (other then how awesome and mighty I am and to drink more Ovaltine), it should be that VVVVVV and Umihara Kawase Shun are some of the greatest platformers ever created. Seriously, if you haven't played them, you really need to. If you're a fan of platformers, you won't regret it. So, yeah, play them, memorize all the short cuts, beat them when you get bored, etc. They're sooooooo good.


What looks like an innocent game about a 19 year old girl in a fish bowl will eat you alive. This game makes Bionic Commando's grappling hook look like a little girl

So, bullet hells are pretty good.

Yeah, they're pretty good. Who's ready for the American port of Under Defeat HD? I know I am!


VIDERGAUMES!

I'm making a video game with some fellow DTOIDers called, "Child Wrangler."


This was concept art for our Ludum Dare game (pshhh, you ain't gettin' no Child Wrangler screens just yet). Let's just say, something happened along the way :P

Annnnnnnnnnnd we're also finishing up on our Ludum Dare 24 Game Jam Entry (hopefully, it'll at least make you laugh). Check out that later, yo. And that leads me to my last point...

I love DTOID, and most importantly, the community.

Like, for realizes. You guys are the best. I've always felt welcome here, and I try to extend that kindness to anyone my way. You guys are great, and I've made a lot of friendships on this site (for those of you that don't know me, I'd love to be your friend too!). Seriously. It's hard, being a weird guy out in the world sometimes, and sometimes you feel as if you're the only one of you kind. But you guys, gosh, a whole community of people like me is awesome. Hugs all around.


You guys are seriously, like, the best.

So, yep! There she blows! Hope I at least caught your eye (I make for a good mannequin on display sometimes :P) Take me to PAX, I'll love you for ever, etc, etc. Oh and yeah- Polygamy: It's what's for dinner!
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