I know people from the industry follow me. No I'm not a paranoid person. Well most of the time I'm not. But they are listening to me. They are. All the things I say, and all the "Oh I'd so wish for product X to appear with Y features" come true. Really. Most of the time. Well usually. I should apply for that games industry analytics person job. Even with a .08% guess rate, I'd be well versed and popular, as experience shows. Fancy pay, endless possibilities of stock option fraud. Oh, the world. Ken Lay would be proud.

Anyhow, this blog post is inspired by the imminent Apple conference. In just under 2 hours, the world will listen to Steve Jobs' voice which will put them in a hypnotic state and cheer at the utmost banalities of features. I'd quote a blog I read recently, but I can't find it in my history. The writer said something of a narrative technique which puts people in a "reality bubble". It's a state where you knowingly let yourself become part of a mob to cheer whatever the leader says. I heard a fellow named Adolf Hitler was quite adept at it. Now before Apple fans rip me to shreds, I'd like to accentuate that I adore Steve's keynotes, and my own presentation skills were enriched by his mimics, gesticulation and speech methods.

So what will be announced at that conference? New iPods are a sure thing. I also like to think that they would mention that unimportant product that is OSX Leopard too, since it ships in less than a month. iPhone? European plans probably, and of course the plan to suck your wallet dry by buying ringtones from the Apple Store (that's just seriously wrong. Just enable MP3s as ringtones). iPandas? Little cuddly robotic mobile WiFi enabled phones and email notification toys? I'd wish (and I hope they are listening which is a truly remarkable thing for a paranoid person to say).

The fact that intrigues me is how Apple can hide secrets so vigorously. Not unlike Penny Arcade's recent strip focusing on Battle Royale II-esque security methods at Blizzard, I think Apple's code of secrecy is tighter than the NSA. Sure, sometimes things leak. Most of the time, it's the third parties which like to blabber much. Then again (considering modern advertising methods), you never know when that supposed leak is truly what it implies it is, or whether it was just a marketing ploy. Apple did not resort to viral marketing to extreme levels such witnessed by us, gamers, as Microsoft did. They don't really need it anyway.

It will be enough that Steve comes out, announces the iPod branded earphones with integrated controls, lets some fancy new artist come out and play a tune or two, and just before that with "one last thing" actually announce that they have a new iPod with Wifi, and the crowd will go wild. I'm ranting here, but take my word for it. Whatever they announce won't objectively be revolutionary, it will be expensive, it will take over the crowd like a all-Japanese Baywatch commercial and (of course), we'll all go out and buy the damned thing.

Well. At least we enjoy the illusion.