Because I'm not going to gratify you with one myself. Sebastian Paul Lopez already posted a c-blog with scans of the GameInformer article on Portal 2, but the pages were unreadable for the most part, even the large versions. My issue showed up in the mail today, so here's a bullet-point run-down of what's in the reveal. If you want more details, as well as lots of pretty pictures and screenshots, buy the damn magazine.

- Chell is back, in THE FUTURE. Stasis pod. How handy.
- Aperture Labs, post-splodey, is all overgrown.
- The personality cores lighting up after the credits in the original? Not just fluff. They all have different personalities, and several have staked out certain areas of the destroyed labs.
- More behind the scenes areas between some test chambers, since the Labs are trying to rebuild themselves not long after the beginning.
- New environmental objects, like springboard platforms, lasers w/ receptacles, reflective boxes, suction vents (like reverse dispenser pipes), and "excursion tunnels" (tractor "beams" made of liquid asbestos - MESOTHELIOMANIA!)
- Erik Wolpaw and Jonathan Coulton are both involved. There will be fewer cake jokes and more music scattered throughout the game.
- The dev team has gone from eight people to twenty-eight, and the game's size will be similarly larger than its predecessor.
- The two robots you could sort of see in that one teaser image, that looked like a bipedal personality core and turret holding hands, are the co-op characters. Twice the portals, challenges squared.

The article itself runs through the game's intro, as well as thoroughly explaining the new elements and a couple of mechanics based on paint colors. Yes, paint. It makes sense, and apparently the liquid mechanics look good. There's also a featurette on the few playable co-op levels GI got their hands on, and design shots of some of the early environments and Chell's new look. One brief aside seemed to imply you could now leave portals in mid-air, but I could just be reading into things.

GI's got a section of their site dedicated to info not included in the article, though it appears to be mostly stuff you've already heard some about, like how Portal and Half-life are in the same universe, and the first game was originally a DigiPen project called Narbacular Drop. Chances are they'll have some more worthwhile reveals as time goes on, though.

I peed a little. Just a little.