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A sermon for your Ash Wednesday. - Destructoid

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Hi, I'm Chris, though I've been going by nekobun and variants thereof for so long, I kind of answer to both anymore.

While I've kind of got my own thing going in the realm of indie coverage, at least in the form of playing through (and streaming) (and writing about) the huge backlog I'm developing of games gleaned from various indie bundles, I try to keep my more mainstream, game-related features here, as well as opinion pieces on the industry at large, out of mad love for the 'toid. When I'm not rambling here or trying to be clever in comments threads, you can catch me rambling on Facebook and my Twitter, and trying to be clever in the Dtoid.tv chat.

Now Playing:
360: Halo 4
PC: F.E.A.R.
SNES: Secret Of Mana

Promoted:
I suck at games: PEW PEW LASERS
Improving game communities: Collective consciousness
Nothing is sacred: These walls have torn my world apart
The wrong thing: Only cream and bastards catch them all.
Love/Hate: I love to hate -you-
Love/Hate: B(u)y the book
The Future: Is still what it used to be
My Expertise: Playing the race kart
Something about sex: Sex sells, but who's buying?
E3 Approaches: It's oh so quiet
Freedom: Together, we'll break the chains of HUDs
East vs West: We've got the empire
Handhelds: Graduating as 2000's Catchemaledictorian
Relaxation: Cheesy double Chief burrito
Online Passes: A spoonful of sugar
Peripherals: Many tentacles pimpin' on the keys
This is what MAGfest is all about
Beginnings: Put it on the pizza
Disappointment: Bad(vent) timing

Recap Topsauce:
It's Thinking: Could you quit playing with that radio, love?
Do the wrong thing: And do it right, for once.
Afraid to shoot strangers.
Not if you were the last junkie on Pandora
Is Jim Sterling servicing the video games industry?
Something About Sex: Unsafe at any speed.
Doing DLC right
Congress passes sweeping Elfcare reform bill
Bottom five healthcare systems in videogames.
Pushing my love over the quarter line.
When my life would depend on an eight point none.
Remember the heroes.
Every Journey begins with a single step.
It's all over now, bomber blue.
Being Social: We'll always have Rainbow Road
Labor Day: Of course you realize, this means wark.
Please, aim it higher.
There Would've Been Brawl: Show me 'round your eggplantcage.
Integration: A place for everything
Zelda Week: I guess this is growing up.
MAGfest: the (don't be an) idiot's guide
Promotions: The bees are alright
Now is the winter of on-disc content
This was supposed to be a dozen items about nekobun.
Without Slenderness, there's something missing.
Cheap tricks (and treats) don't come cheaper than free.
The legacy of the (unlikely) wizard.
Cheap Tricks II: Sugar rush boogaloo
Thank you, for bringing me here, for showing me Home.
Burnt flowers fallen: the tragic bitchotry of Lilly Caul
Red and blue, resolving into purple.
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PSN ID:strictmachine
Steam ID:nekobun
Origin ID:nekobun
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Today, we gather to honor the beginning of a forty-day quest, in which Professor Oak gave his finest pupil to the world so all the Pokémon may be caught, in all the regions across every land. Over the course of his journey to defeat the Johto region's Elite Four, our Lord and Pokémon Master, Ash Ketchum, would endure many trials.

Misty. Brock. Tracey. May. Max. Dawn. Iris. Cilan. All these disciples and more were graced by glorious companionship with Ash, aiding him on his adventures and spreading the word of he who would become the very best to all of the people across the land. Even legends cannot become as much alone, and through his understanding and compassion, Ash both recognized those whom he could teach, and those who could impart some wisdom of their own unto him.



For Ash gave his life for the sins of every Pokémon and every trainer, several times over, only to be revived again and again by the one true Pikachu. Today, we honor his innumerable sacrifices and persistent returns to our realm, as we pray in the offerings he gave us. Please, repeat after me, in the words of our Master:

This Poffin is my body, given for you. Raise your conditions in remembrance of me.

This Potion is my blood, shed for you. Heal your wounds in remembrance of me.



And so, today, recieve this mark upon your forehead, in the material synonymous with He Whose Cause Was To Train Them. Go forth and capture thine own Pokémon, and raise them and love them as if they were of your own flesh and blood. Keep in your heart such truth as present in he who was, is, and shalt always be Ketchum, and courage in his image shalt serve to pull you through any tribulation.

He was, is, and ever shall be the Very Best, like no one before or anyone yet to come. In the words of our Greatest Trainer,

Gotta Catch 'Em All.
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