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7:04 AM on 06.25.2010

Surgery Games (not games about surgery)

So I was looking over my portable gaming library and thinking about my upcoming surgery (gastric bypass), which will be happening in less than two weeks, and I'm thinking that I need to grab a few more games to keep myself busy while I heal.

You see, I'm from Ky, but I'm having my surgery in Michigan do to stupid insurance reasons. And because of this I will be spending a lot of time on the road and away from my ps3. However I will have my psp and my droid with me. In fact, I will be in Michigan for almost 2 weeks, and 4 days of that will be spent in the hospital recuperating after the surgery.

Does anyone have suggestions on some games to take with me? Specifically, I'm looking for a game similar to Class of Heroes - I love that game. Is there anything else like it?

Ah well, wish me luck! Big changes are on the horizon for me!   read

4:21 PM on 11.07.2009

Demon's Souls: Lost Journal of Necrozen the Unwise Day 2

Necrozen the Unwise here again to bring you more of my misadventures in Belataria. For those Dark Souls out there, bent on invading and raining on the parades of those white knight bastards, let this serve not as a guide of what to do, but rather a manifesto of what NOT to do. I may not always know where things went wrong (I refer you back to my name, which is a badge of the truly moronic) but even if I don't offer great detail at times, you can at least get a hearty chuckle at my expense. It would warm the cockles of my cold dead soul to know that my death meant something to someone, even if it is just a joke!

Day Two - A Meeting with the Scraping Spear
Location: The Archstone of the Shadowmen
Current Mood: A Bit Sore But Still Willing and Able to Bring the Pain!!

After having problems with a pesky mage the day before, I returned to the beginning of one of the busiest levels in the game, The Adju-whatsit Archstone (mostly because this is where people grind for souls). Once I found a comfortable spot along the long corridore at the beginning of the level, I pulled out my trusty Black Eye Stone and prepared myself for some invasion fun. After I was painfully stuffed into my target Soul's dimension, I found myself glowing that familiar evil red hue again and I felt the thirst for CHAOS! return!

I headed back down to the long hallway and... to my surprise, no one was there! I looked around a bit and decided to head toward the large chamber where the black-cloaked doodad with the big scythe always stands. Aha! The Scythe Man had been killed. I'd found the soul I was hunting! But a bit too late, as my target had been waiting for me the whole time! Tricked again! He began beating me unmercifully with a Scraping Spear (or as I like to call it, the Cunt-bastard Spear) and I groaned in terror as my equipment began to fall apart. This was an evil white knight indeed! He probably took pleasure in destroying my armor! But no matter, I did manage to stab him a few times with my poison dagger! That'll show him!

After he killed me I was returned back to my own dimension. I wearily crawed back to the archstone and went to the nexus to try and figure out how I was going to raise enough souls to fix my armor with nothing to wear but a potatoe bag and a stew pot.

Note: Learn to fear and avoid that godforsaken Scraping Spear!   read

5:51 PM on 11.06.2009

Demon's Souls: Lost Journal of Necrozen the Unwise Day 1

Demon Souls: Lost Journal of Necrozen the Unwise

Hello fair souls, it is I, Necrozen the Unwise. I am here to share the tales of my many journeys within the universe of the PS3 Game Demon's Souls. You will see this world through the dark tinted glasses of an evil being. It isn't easy being a dark soul surrounded by so many white knights, thirsty for your blood, but I make the best of it. The few of us who remain are subject to much hatred, humiliation and suffering - or perhaps it is just me, for my name does not lie. I am forever cursed to be unwise.

So for those Dark Souls out there, bent on invading and raining on the parades of the goody little two-shoes, let these papers before you serve not as a guide of what to do, but rather a manifesto of what NOT to do. I may not always know where things went wrong (I refer you back to my name) but even if I don't offer great detail at times, you can at least get a hearty chuckle at my expense. It would warm the cockles of my cold dead soul to know that my death meant something to someone, even if it is just a joke!

Day One
Location: The Archstone of the Shadowmen, Adjudicator Archstone
Current Mood: Hungry for Chaos!

And so it began!!

I ran down the steps of the first arched exit and kick-turned off the landing to face the dark hallway where I planned to do my evil bidding. Once inside, having narrowly escaped the large stinger of a creepy flying stingray thing, I stopped full, found a good spot, and dropped my Black Eye Stone. As I sat and waited, that familiar feeling of excitement vibrated down my spine. I knew I would wreak havoc on the fool white-hearted bastard on the other side of the portal, it was just a matter of time!

I vanished in a puff of nothing and appeared back at the entrance of the Adjudicator (what the hell does that mean anyway?). I made my way down the steps, off the landing and as I turned my head toward the long hallway, I saw two white-lights coming toward me full tilt. I grasped the hilt of my Soulbrandt and pulled the Tower Shield closer to me. TIME FOR CHAOS!

The one who hit me first was in body form, my target, and he dealt a heavy blow with what looked like a Demonbrandt, although it is hard to tell the brand of sword when it is slashing at your head. A quarter of my health fell away immediately. I quickly went for a full moon grass, but it was too late. The blue mage my mark had summoned earlier cast some kind of ground-explodey type spell and it wiped me out with one hit. I gasped and fell to my knees. not only was my pride wounded, but so was my soul.

Note: Avoid mages who know the powerful magic of the ground explodey spell!   read

12:27 PM on 11.05.2009

Modern Warfare 2 Viral Video Didn't Make Me Gay...

...and by gay I mean happy.

I've got to talk about this crap and get it off my chest.

We all know the situation, they made a viral video, last five seconds it says that it was brought to you by Fight Against Grenade Spam blah blah blah I don't need to give the details, you already have them.

I don't agree with it and it did piss me off, but I'm not going to rave about that. I'm going to talk about all the reactions I saw, which bugged me even more than the original mistake!

I haven't talked to anyone in the flesh about this, so I have to base what I know on the forum responses. The annoying ones come in a couple of flavors. Ive seen people say things like "Who cares, what's the big deal?" Or "I'm not gay, but if I were, I wouldn't care!" Or the ever popular "Ï have friends who are gay and THEY don't care so why should I?" And of course there are those who don't even attempt to mask their homophobia and just make some kind of rude remark to be "SHOCKING".

Ignoring the outright homophobic, I think those are all poor excuses.

Who cares, what's the big deal?

The big deal is that the word had and still has a hateful connotation and is used by hateful people in an attempt to subjugate a lifestyle they disagree with. These are the same people who tell gay folks they can't get married or adopt. The same people who hide in alleys near gay clubs and jump them as they pass by. You think those days are over? I have a few friends who would disagree. I know not everyone lives in places like this, where gay people are still abused or forced to hide who they are in fear of harassment or physical harm, but some people do.

I'm not gay, but if I were, I wouldn't care!

That may be true, although I doubt you could really know that without being in the situation, but I'll give you the benefit of doubt and say that if you were gay you wouldn't care. That's fine. But you aren't everybody and in this day and age it seems the route we go is that even if we aren't personally offended by something, if there are those out in the world who are, it is in bad taste to bring it up. Not only in bad taste, but hurtful! And this goes double for something like a derogatory word! It isn't even necessary or clever. It's just the easy door to a laugh at best. But honestly, no one I know would laugh in the first place.

Ï have friends who are gay and THEY don't care so why should I?

There are a couple of holes in this kind of logic.

The first is that perhaps your friends really are insulted, but they don't say anything because that's the first sign of weakness. One of the reactions to living around a sizable group of people who believe that you are the spawn (and or future resident of) hell is that you develop a thick skin to deal with it. Speaking as a pagan, I remember for years I pretended that it didn't bother me when the Christians came to pagan pride day to protest us and call us devil worshipers. I laughed it off. But it did hurt me. Now when they show up, I tell them how I feel right back - I don't toss insults, I explain my feelings.

The other possible situation is that they really don't care. For that, see the above section titled "I'm not gay, but if I were, I wouldn't care!"

So lets wrap it up

The point is that any use of the word, even in jest, can give the word power because those idiots who really believe that being gay is wrong may be standing by listening to you and they might think you are serious. That adds another soldier, in their mind, to their crusade of hate. There's no need for that. Using the word as a joke doesn't take power away from it. Not using it takes the power away. The less people use it, the more the people who do use it stand out and feel dumb for speaking that way.

At any rate, that's how I feel about it. I don't expect change over night, but I just felt the need to voice my own opinion, thanks for listening.   read

1:45 PM on 02.20.2009

With Great Length Comes Great Responsibilities - A Noby Noby Video

While attempting to beat their own length record, Necrozen and Noby Noby boy get into an argument about
the obvious sexual imagery in the game. Necrozen believes that the game is so thick with sexy stuff that it
was obviously done on purpose. Noby Noby Boy believes differently.

Will the two ever see eye to eye? Watch the video to find out.

[Note: In order to see the text, you will probably have to go to the actual video page on youtube, because
when it is embedded its too small to read. Just go
here, if you

[embed]122320:17690[/embed]   read

1:35 AM on 02.20.2009

Noby Noby Boy: Where is Girl going?

If you haven't played Noby Noby Boy, you may want to step out, as we'll be discussing stuff that you'll
probably want to discover on your own.

Ok, now that we have that out of the way, I want to talk about the Girl character in Noby Noby Boy.

I should say, before we start, that I haven't researched anything on this game, so I may be completely wrong
or maybe I'm right, or maybe this is shit that people already know, but I was thinking about the girl character in
the game and where she is going.

The little fairy dude says that Girl is traveling to other planets, right? And she grows by adding up all the
growth of all the people who play the game, right? So I was wondering, what happens when she gets to a
new planet? I noticed that there is a "Visit Planet" section in the menu. Does this mean that, once we all work
together and get Girl to a new planet, we will get to visit the planet as well?

I may sound totally crazy, but I'm under the influence of no sleep, a fucked up game, and a number of other

I was wondering what other people think about this. It seems that we, as players of the game, are headed in
a direction collectively, at least with our progress all adding up to a cumulative progress.

Am I totally crazy, or is there more to this than we see on day one?   read

7:31 PM on 02.19.2009

WTF? Noby Noby Boy Eats Time?

Apparently, not only does Noby Noby Boy, the new PSN game by the designer of Katamari, eat weird looking
people and giant basketballs and reindeer and robots, but he eats time too.

You'll have to excuse me, much of what I am about to say may not make much sense. I'm under the influence
of digital insanity, but it's not the bad kind.

I swear I had been playing it for maybe 20 or 30 minutes, but the clocks tell me differently. "One and a half
hours!" They say. WTF?

I don't have time to go into the game deep because I have this sudden hunger that I much quench with either a
ham sandwich or maybe a bicycle, but I will say that, in my opinion, Noby Noby Boy is a must buy, but the
weird thing is that if I tell you why, or talk about it too much, it won't be the same for you.

And for five bucks?

The great thing about the game is just exploring it. Everything is charming. The tutorial at the beginning. The
game manual. Every inch of it is drenched in this curious coating of fun. Weird, bizarro fun, but still fun. And
the gameplay is just amazing. The rules are set out in front of you, but not everything is dropped at once, so
you have time to come to terms with how the game works at your own pace. I love how they let me tinker
with things, it was so much more rewarding than telling me what to do and then I follow the directions.

I will say that the community aspects of the game were a complete surprise to me. I wasn't expecting the "lets
work together" attitude. The idea that everyones progress is added together is really neat, and I like that I don't
really know what that means just yet, or where things are headed.

Or where Girl is headed. She wants to connect the planets, apparently, but I think secretly she wants to
connect us as gamers and that is really interesting.

I'm not going to say any more. Go explore it for yourself. Trust me, it is worth the measly five bucks. They
could have charged ten for it easy, and I would have been totally satisfied. It's really cool that they gave it to
us for cheaper.

Also, if you have the game and want to be noby noby friends, add me, PSN: NEScrozen   read

1:04 AM on 12.24.2008

Little Big Planet Does Metal Gear Solid 4 - The Rise of Solid Sack

[Before I start, I just wanted to say that if you are sensitive and you don't want some of the cute little surprises about the new LBP Metal Gear level pack ruined, you probably shouldn't read this.]

I'm not accustomed to my partner Amanda keeping tabs on PSN updates. If it's a new Aquarium simulator on the Wii, she's got you covered, but she wouldn't know what a Crash Commando was if it jumped out from behind a crate and bazooka'd her in the face and I believe she thinks wipeout hd is a skiing game. So needless to say, when she got home and handed me the credit card, saying “LBP. New levels!”, I was a bit surprised. It wasn't that I didn't know about the new levels and costumes, believe me, I knew. But I figured I couldn't get them because I blew 70 bucks on PSN last week (two of their gift cards, a $50 and a $20, we finally got them at target around here), and even suggesting that I wanted to buy something else would be asking for “that look”.

It's funny too, because the new levels and costumes were MGS4 related – not exactly a game she's been known to pop in and play on a whim. Of course, she did watch many of the cut scenes with me, and I think she even squirt out a tear or two during the more heart wrenching moments, but I don't think her thoughts on the game went much further than “Oh, it's sad that all that bad stuff keeps happening to the old man with the bandanna!”

So it was nice to have her support on the download. To have her be so demanding about a game that wasn't WiiPuzzle Number 36 was sweet. The real question is, how did she like it and of course, what did I think about it. Well, first off, she didn't like it. She LOVED it. In the last 2 hours we've played through the entire set, not getting all the stickers, but completing all of the 5 new levels, and we stopped only because she has to get up early in the morning and the rule is that we have to play it together. Which I don't mind because playing with her actually adds a challenge – but don't tell her I said that.

So what were my initial reactions? I was a bit tickled with the direction they went with the story, lampooning the ridiculous number of Trophy levels on LBP by suggesting that Liquid was busy polluting the Little Big Planet with them using some kind of overly complex machine. It was actually pretty funny, and the final scene was really engaging. We got down to our last life, and just barely made it by the skin of our teeth. A GOOD boss fight on LBP? YES!

The weird story line wasn't the only surprise the level pack had in store for me. I mean, I fully expected the new guns and familiar aesthetic of MGS4 to freshen things up – even the music, but I have to say that the stealth gameplay completely caught me by surprise. It's funny too, because with the 3 layered playing field of the game, it's perfect for hiding from the search lights that sit at the top of the level. The first time we hit a search light and heard that familiar alarming sound, and the doors dropped down trapping us so that we were materialized by the turret – well, I jumped out of my seat and I also got a warm feeling in my heart. I knew this little level pack was going to make a game I already adore EVEN BETTER! Which, if you asked me a week before I even knew this level kit was coming, I would have told you was impossible.

So aside from the surprises, how did it play? Very well. Each level, even the introduction it seems, offers multiple plays. Similar to the pack-in levels on the disk, they use sticker triggers to have you play through more than once. A sticker you may need at the beginning of the level could be found at the end, so you have to play through once, get it, and then go again and place the sticker on the trigger to get the reward. The difference here, which I first noticed with the VR Mission, is that, with the placing of the acquired sticker, not only did I get rewards, but the entire level transformed, becoming a new, harder level. Turrets appeared where there were none the first time, the floor dropped out in certain places. It become much more challenging, letting us utilize the new shooting and dodging mechanics we'd learned our first go through.

My girlfriend, who really isn't into shooting games, had a little trouble with aiming and fighting with the guns at first, but I was there to get her out of trouble most of the time. And soon she was running and gunning like no tomorrow! Speaking of the shooting, I loved the way they handled the aiming, very similar to the aiming in Crash Commando – R1 shoots and you aim with the right stick, giving you a full crescent range of motion.

So the real question is, is it worth it? Hell yes. I'm actually surprised they didn't charge the usual 10 bucks this time around. I suppose we can chalk it up as a christmas gift, although no one will notice. Most people seem to only want to complain when gaming companies make mistakes, but they never want to give them props when they are nice!

Anyway, if you own LBP and you haven't picked up the expansion yet, what are you waiting for! And if you've decided to wait on getting LBP altogether, the shear range of possibilities this download offers is definitely the nudge you've been waiting for.

If you're on LBP, my PSN is NEScrozen. Lets do a time run on the VR level together. The name of my character? Solid Sack.... Yeah, I know.


5:56 PM on 12.21.2008

Crash Commandos - Ones of the Best Downloadable Titles Ever?

Let's talk about Crash Commandos, one of my new favorite games - and quite possibly the best downloadable game for the PS3 this year. First off, let me just say HOLY SHIT!

I mean, I had no idea how awesome this game was gonna be when I first got it. I thought maybe it was gonna be some fun sidescrolling action game that I'd play for a couple of weeks and then delete. But NO! This is more like a 2D version of Team Fortress. And I know your thinking, how the hell could they do that? They did. And it is awesome - I'll explain how it works - and believe me, it really works! And judging from the fact that there are always pages of open games when I go on to the servers to find one, I'd guess other people are feeling the same way I do.

So what is the game all about? Ok. It has a 1 player campaign which is rather lengthy considering the game is really meant for multiplayer. I started with that, just to learn the controls, but I never even finished it because I decided to try the multiplayer and, well, a few days went by and I still haven't gone back. The multiplayer consists of three types of games, Deathmatch, Team Deathmatch and Map Objectives. The first two are self explanatory. In the third you play in teams, either attacking or defending, sometimes you'll be trying to keep the other team from bombing your communication posts. Other times you'll be attempting to hack the apposing team's database and bring the intel back to your own base. Quite a wide variety for a game that was 10 bucks. My favorite is the objective matches - they can get pretty damn exciting!

So what does the game actually play like? Well, the top left trigger is your jet pack. It's basically like an extended jump. The longer you hold it, the higher you go, but you only get so much and then you drop while it refills.The bottom right trigger is you secondary weapon (c4, grenades or landmines) and top right trigger is your main weapon (sniper rifle, machinegun, lazer, bazooka, grenade launcher, shotgun, you get the idea). You can also switch to a pistol with the square button, but I've never used it so whatever. You aim with the right stick and walk with the left. There is a line that exctends from your character to show where they are aiming, it differs between weapons - the sniper rifle has a long red line, the shotgun a shorter line, the grenade launcher's aiming line curves - stuff like that. Basically it's like super stardust hd or geometry wars, you move the stick where you want to aim - only, instead of viewing the action from above, you see it from the side.

Sounds pretty simple, right? It is! And this simplicity leads to some nail biting action! And lets not forget vehicles. The tanks and jeeps you can drive really add something, and they are ballanced pretty well so that they do offer protection but they aren't too hard to take down. Then there are the guided missiles and the turrets. The guided missiles are really interesting. Basically you put your character into this missile room, which locks you in and then you fire the weapon and your control switches to the weapon itself. Then you find the jackoff who just shotgunned you three times in a row and KABLAMO! It's funny too, because the missile moves kinda slow, but it has a huge blast radias, so you get to watch the badguys run like hell as this slow missile gets closer and closer.

To understand how the turrets work, you have to first understand one of the coolest things about the game. The level has two layers, a foreground and a background. Whatever layer you are on in the foreground and you can see the other part of the stage in the background - including the people fighting. If you go through a door, you appear on THAT layer (which now becomes the foreground), and the area you were just at is in the background now. It sounds weird to describe it, but if you see it in action, it makes perfect sense. The best part is that when you get in a turret, you go into first person mode and you can mow down those folks you see in the background layer. So until you learn the safe spots, no matter where you are, you feel like you could be the next target of someone on the opposite layer!

Wow. That was a lot to explain. I didn't really plan on going into that much detail, but since the game is relying on pretty much word of mouth, I figured I would explain it to some of you PS3 owners out there who are on the fence. This is definitely a purchase - one look at the server lobby will confirm that! See you on the battlefield!   read

12:40 PM on 12.11.2008

Give Me a Reason to Hate PS3 so I don't have to Buy It, They Say

During our ongoing discussions under the latest post about Microsoft hating on Home, dtoid user Squawk brought up a good point about people hating on the PS3:

“I can't really say anything about HOME because I don't have any experience with it., Sony just seems to be tripping this generation at every turn. Even if its not the case, the PERCEPTION is that it is the case, and that's what counts.”

I think that Squawk is on to something about this whole perception thing. As a person who has owned all the current gen system, I can clearly state my preferences, and there is nothing wrong with that, but I've never found myself getting all that engaged in these console fights. I used to back in the day, but I've since learned it's all pretty pointless. The only time I feel the need is when someone is being blatantly retarded, and even then I don't always get involved. Still, that hasn't stopped me from wondering why so many people are fighting tooth and nail and shitting on each other's purchases. Why does THIS console war seem so much more vicious than the previous? And why hasn't it died down yet?

I'm not really sure I can answer all those questions, but I think I have an idea on a few. We'll start with why people have the perception that the PS3 isn't a good gaming device - and it has a lot to do with perception and timing... and fanboys.

You see, Sony was late to the game, Microsoft got the jump and most people bought them up. Then Sony comes along with their system. Now people have a choice. They can save up and buy a another system, the PS3, or they can be happy with what they have and ignore Sony all together. Me, I bought another system, that's just how I am. I saved up the money and I got a PS3. I wanted a blu-ray player anyway, so it wasn't that big of a deal to me.

But for those who just have one system, or even a combination of the wii and one of the others, they aren't just happy with what they have, they have to convince themselves that not only do they not want to buy the PS3, but that it is shit and therefore they SHOULDN'T buy it. Of course this is nonsense, the PS3 is an excellent system, and I think most people would agree(those who actually own one). But some of those folks who just have a 360 or a Wii, they don't want to feel like they are missing out, so they tell themselves that the PS3 is shit and then they actually start believing it. That is easier for them than facing the fact that they might miss some exclusive games like MGS4 or functions like Home. Just like Squawk said, perception. And a fanboy is born – or at least, one kind of fanboy, as there seems to be several breeds out there.

Of course, this isn't enough for them. They need reassurance. So not only do they tell themselves that it sucks but they go on websites and they try to find other people to back up their ideas. Misery loves company, so does blind hate. Now you have lots of people roving about, shitting on the PS3. They say it has no games (it does). They say the online sucks (works fine). They need more and more reassurance as they hear more positive things about the system they have told themselves they hate, so their claims get meaner and more insane as time goes on. And this gives birth to the other side of the battlegrounds...

It starts with those people who JUST have a PS3. They go on their favorite games website and start reading this shit and it makes them mad. “What? But I love my PS3!!” They get defensive. They wonder if they made the wrong purchase, their brains go into alarm mode and their minds won't let them think that maybe they are missing out on something, so they have to believe that the xbox 360 is shit (it's not). But telling themselves that isn't enough, they have to go online and find other people who hate the xbox and exaggerate the hardware failure and hate on the online community attached to Live and the mii-like avatars. All of which is just more bullshit.

Now you have a full blown battle fought by two sides who started the whole thing by convincing themselves that something they don't even own is utter shit because they don't want to buy it. Companies get a whiff of the whole mess and realize that nothing equals money like exploiting a two-sided hate-war so the websites jump in to fan the flames with bait-posts and the news sites get involved with bias and some people who own all three systems and shouldn't care but just like to start fights jump in and then you have people who just blindly love a company and will fall for all their propaganda and-

Well, you get the idea. And all this could have been avoided had people just faced the fact that every system has unique qualities that make it worth owning, but unless you are willing to make the monetary sacrifice to own all three, you simply can't complain. Owning any one system and concentrating on its library is a different experience than having to pick and choose games for all three, so there is a positive to that route as well. But no matter what you have, be happy with it because some people have nothing.   read

11:57 AM on 12.10.2008

A Time to Destroy: From Road Rash to Pain

I can't think of many games that COMPLETELY revolve around the idea of destruction. I guess this is because it's really hard to frame a story around the act of destroying things and not have any building or collecting to go along with it. Grant it, almost every game has you destroying something as an important element. (Kill this guy, stop this tank, break down this wall – you get the idea.) But luckily, there ARE a few games that have an end purpose which reaches no further than “Fuck This Place UP”. And out of the few I can think of, there is only one I still play to this day.

Pain, a weird little downloadable title I came across one day on the PS3 Playstation Network, is not only a joy to play, it is a masterpiece of destruction! I remember when I first booted up the game, having absolutely no idea what I had just bought, I saw a man loaded in a giant slingshot aimed at a busy city and thought “Holy shit, they've done it!” What they had done is tapped into my childhood and cleverly mined an appreciation for mindless destruction that had been sitting dormant there for some time. And as I fired my character into the city for the first time, banking that poor fool off a speeding cop car, into a building, and finally onto a box of dynamite that was cleverly placed next to an elderly woman (all for the purpose of causing the most damage to get the highest score) I reflected on my love affair with chaos, and how, back in my younger years of gaming, this was the kind of fun we had to make for ourselves.

It's almost as if the creators of Pain were there with me in the early 90s, silently watching over my shoulder as my friend and I took turns playing Road Rash late one night. We were grinding through it furiously because it had to go back the next day and we wanted to get our money's worth. This was a time before Gamefly, when rental times were short, your parents only let you get games on the weekend because of school and you never had enough money to buy the games you wanted, so you better damn well play it to death while you had it! And, with the support of microwave pizza and caffeine, we did just that.

So there we were, stomachs full of Pepsi and pizza, flying down those winding roads, the pixelated roadsigns and trees passing by faster and faster, the odd creaking of the Genesis controller in our hands as we pushed and drove and punched to get to the front of the mob. And then it happened. Crash! My buddy Matt went head-on into an oncoming car right as he was about to jump a hill. Some kind of magic happened with the physics! There was a funny scream and then silence as his rider flew through the air for what seemed like an eternity.

At first we were horrified. You see, the further you flew from your bike, the longer it took you to get back to it because the game made you walk back to where you had wrecked as a punishment for screwing up. But this time we looked at wrecking differently. I think it was the unusual amount of time the rider was in the air that made us first start laughing uncontrollably. It was so unexpected, and while there were no ragdoll effects to add drama to the chaos, the scripted animation of the character flying through the air for that extended period of time was just hilarious!

And then a little light bulb went off above our heads. We realized that, while playing Road Rash properly and striving to win the race was great, attempting to be involved in the most epic wreck ever was something completely different and much more fulfilling to our Beavis and Butthead soakeds minds! And so a new game was born! Road Rash was no longer about racing motorcycles and punching people in the face to get first place. It was about going as fast as you could and then creating the most spectacular wreck possible! How many trees could you hit as you tumbled out of control, how much airtime could you get, how long could you skim and how many of your opponents could you get to run over you as you rolled along? These were the questions that we tried to answer as we stayed up into the late hours of the morning.

Now the creator of Road Rash had not intended for the game to be played in this manner, so there was no incentive to play it the way we were, except the ensuing laughter and the need to outdo each other, but that didn't matter. That's all we needed. And that game created a moment that I still look back on fondly to this day. Of course, things have changed now. Matt and I still get together and game. And we still crave the chaos that we tasted all so long ago, but now we have a new game to eat pizza, get drunk and laugh at, and that game is Pain. The people who made it thought outside the box and have created an entire game around destruction. Still, as I see the Pain character tumbling through the air, about to get nailed by a taxi or smack into a billboard and ram through a pane of glass, as I see Matt and I on the couch attempting to outdo each other, trying to hit one more sign, or nail one more car in our loop of destruction, I see that old red-helmeted roadrash character reflected on the screen, flying through the air, about to meet his imminent doom. Just for the fun of it.   read

12:04 PM on 11.21.2008

NARPs @ HOME (PS3 HOME, that is)

Yesterday I posted a blog about how I made a Destructoid clubhouse as a tester for the home beta. Why destructoid? It was the first thing I thought of. Plus, I realized it would have a whole lot more members than, say, a Tom Waits or Mario Bava fan club. And besides, why would I NOT want to put my fave website out there? So I did.

Before I go on, maybe I should explain what a clubhouse is, in the realms of PS3 HOME. It's a pretty simple concept, really. A clubhouse is a structure owned and moderated by an individual where people who dig a certain thing can gather around and chill. You can search for clubhouses to join in the HOME menu, but you have to be accepted by the moderator. Much like the apartments in home, the clubhouses are customizable to your desires. You can add furniture, decorations, all that good stuff. And anyone who is registered as a member of that club can use the structure as they please. But as far as I know, only the creator can moderate it. No word on whether or not the creator can appoint other moderators, but I have yet to come across it in my own experimentation.

So this brings us to the point of the post. NARPs. See, in the comments section of my last blog, brainderailment, stated that he wasn't in the HOME beta, but that once it gets its final release he plans on joining the Destructoid Readers club because we can have NARPs. And I thought "Holy shit, why didn't I think about that!" While not a perfect match to reality, HOME NARPS will be a great substitute for people who couldn't possibly all get to the same place at the same time. You could have a New York, California, UK, Mississippi, Florida NARP, if you wanted to and your only excuse for not coming would be "I don't have a PS3!", to which I would reply "Fucking get one then!"

What do you folks think? Can home bring the NARP to groups who wouldn't be able to get together otherwise? Could it take the NARP to a new level? I mean, having a NARP INSIDE a videogame - that is almost ironic, isn't it?

Either way, my excitement for HOME has been refilled to the brim. And I have Brainderailment and Destructoid to thank for it. See you all at HOME.   read

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