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6:40 AM on 05.03.2011

Super Metroid - BESTEST GAME EVAR!!1!

The lights are off and only the gentle glow of the science lab monitors stop the room from falling into total darkness. Across the floor lie the bodies of dead scientists. The computer systems seem to be active still and supporting the only life in the room. Captive in a glass chamber in the middle of the lab is the very last Metroid.

ďThe last Metroid is in captivity.. The galaxy is at peace.Ē

The opening sequence to Super Metroid sets a haunting and very atmospheric scene. The chilling 16bit music accompanies the creative colour pallets and beautifully drawn sprites. One of the most amazing features of this game is that its haunting atmosphere will continue throughout the entirety of your adventure and the standard will NEVER drop. You are Samus Aran, a mute bounty hunter with nerves of steel, the agility of a monkey, the gadgets of a military agent and the brute firepower of a small army. This is videogame sci-fi at its very best!

After a brief history of Metroid games and an intro in which Ridley, the head honcho of the space pirates, steals the Metroid. We then aid Samus in escaping an exploding space station and chase the evil alien down to the planet Zebes. As we approach the rain is pouring down and thunder rolls across the sky. Our beautifully formed, completely silent space ship drops from the heavens and lands, hovering perfectly, feet from the ground. The roof hatch opens and Samus Aran emerges. You run for cover in a nearby cave and find a door, which leads into the depths of the planet. The next few hours invite you to explore this vast world and discover its inhabitants. Some are friend and some are foe, but all of them have something to teach you about how the game works and how you must learn to survive in itís, often hostile, environment.

The mechanics of this game are tight. The running, jumping, shooting basics are so pixel perfect that the game feels great to play leaving only yourself to blame when something goes wrong. The map is a complex maze of chambers and tunnels all interlinking and offering the player glimpses of whatís yet to come, but only when you have gained the ability to do so. Your arsenal of weapons and gadgets constantly improve as you journey deeper & deeper through the various locations of Zebes. There are a lot of power-ups to collect in this game, not all of them essential, but all of them rewarding. [I have still never collected 100% items; although my last play through was 98% so hopefully next time I will find that illusive last piece.] The style and graphics are outstanding as the world shifts from area to area and the creatures evolve with it. Then, to top it all off is one of the most atmospheric sound tracks I have ever heard in a game with some quality and high production sound effects piled on top.

This is, with out a doubt, my favourite ever videogame. I havenít even mentioned the boss fights, or whatís so fucking cool about the power-ups and new abilities. This is because Super Metroid is a game of exploration and discovery. Itís finding these things out for yourself that makes it so damn cool. There is a LOT to see in this game. Itís possible, with a few tricks, to finish it in under an hour. But, on a first play through, its not uncommon for people to clock up over 10 hours and still keep exploring. If you have never played Super Metroid, then you owe it to yourself as a gamer to do so. If you have played Super Metroid, then you might enjoy taking this opportunity to stop playing 2011 blockbusters and return to one of the most exciting videogame worlds ever created.   read

3:29 PM on 04.27.2011

You, me and the PSN hack [fed up hearing about it yet?]

People have complained that I often write a wall of text. So, heres a picture to shut them up first..

As James Brown would say ďLets get on the good foot.Ē I fucking LOVE videogames. I always have. No other medium gives me so many emotions and allows me to interact with it at the same time. I have visited atmospheric worlds and met characters that will stay with me for life. I have marvelled at stunning graphics and found myself absorbed by dynamic audio. I have sat for hours mastering game play mechanics and control techniques. I am also the perfect age to have matured with the videogame industry. I started getting sucked in during the 80ís and by the 90ís I was a gamer. Weíre now in 2011 and I consider myself a videogame veteran. Over the years I have played on many, MANY systems. Probably at least had a go on most of them at some point. Over the past few generations I have become a fan of Playstation. I loved my Amiga more than anything and I lost months of my life on my Super Nintendo. But, the Playstation really pulled me in. While my friends were starting to grow out of videogames I was getting pulled in deeper and deeper. It was games like Wipeout, Ridge Racer, Tekken, Soul Reaver, Tony Hawk, Parappa the Rapper, FFVII, MGS, Gran Turismo and Castlevania: Symphony of the Night that ignited my senses. I loved every passing moment of my Playstation. [Even when I had to balance the console on its side so that it would read discs.] Later on I bought a Playstation 2 and got married to Rockstar Games. Well, I proposed but Iím yet to get a definite response. The Xbox had now been released and many of my fellow gamers had migrated to the more powerful machine. But, I knew were my allegiances were. My dedication to this little Japanese box of wonder was running strong. This generation has seen the arrival of the Xbox360 and the Playstation 3, two of the most amazing consoles to have ever graced the gaming community. Obviously, I chose the Playstation 3 as my main system, but I do own both as the exclusive games are too good to miss. Having read this and seeing as its written on a blog dedicated to videogames youíll understand that videogame culture spills into my lifestyle.


I would really appreciate it if people stopped rubbing it in my face about Sony fucking up and the shit hitting the fan. I imagine itís not just me going through this either. I would put money on most Playstation fans getting a hard time from Xbox fans about this. You talk to me as if I have some control over what Sony do. Youíre gleeful at the possibility of Sony stopping production and the Playstation brand dying. Although Nintendo are about to enter the HD market, currently Microsoft and Sony are at the forefront. Imagine if Sony Playstation does disappear from the market place. Microsoft would have no direct competition and could feasibly increase their prices higher and higher. Having both brands in competition is good for us as gamers. Anyway, I donít care for multimillion-pound corporate industries. I feel the same as most rational people about this. I am sad for the customers and angry at both Sony and the fucking dicks who did the hack. Sony has acted irresponsibly. They should have security measures in place to stop these kinds of terrorist acts and when the shit did hit the fan, and then Sony should have immediately made customers aware so that we could take appropriate action. I personally think that the hackers should be feeling the hate from gamers in this situation, as they are the cause of this. Most hacking attempts are a big-dick contest, greed, or an anti-establishment statement and their irresponsible actions have fucked over millions of innocent gamers. People need to stop throwing childish insults and rubbing salt in the wounds of Playstation gamers about this. We are all pretty badly affected and nobody yet knows what the future will be for the brand and its followers.
People who play Playstation consoles fucking love videogames, just like the people who play Xbox consoles. I donít want to defend a round table of millionaires and I donít want you to throw insults at me as if I do! This is where I could rant about fanboys being the football hooligans of the community. Or, about them being bullies. But, you have heard it all before so I wonít bother.

I guess that this was my vent and nothing more. Iíd be considered an Idealist because Iím the kind of person who wishes that gamers would stand together in these situations and not belittle each other. After all..

All I want to do is play great videogames.   read

4:22 AM on 04.24.2011

50Cent: Blood on the Sand - Why you SHOULD play this game..

'50 Cent: versus the Middle East' uses more "mother fuckers" and more "niggaz" than any other game I can think of. It even has a 'taunt' button, which allows you to fire off a "Fuck off!", or a "Fucking die, nigga!" at will. This alone makes 50 Cent worth playing.

While performing a rap gig in the middle east somebody misplaces 10 million dollars of Fiddys money. To apologize for this the gig organizers offer Fiddy a jewell encrusted skull as compensation. This skull belongs to somebody else, who then steals it back. So, Fiddy goes on a murderous rampage across the middle east to get back the skull [that doesn't belong to him anyway].

Many middle easterners, dressed like terrorists will die over the next 5-ish hours of gameplay.

The gameplay is pretty shit. The graphics are pretty shit. The story is fucking stupid. The music is non-stop 50 Cent pumping through the speakers and the language used is over the mother fucking top at all times.. But, somehow the game is VERY fun.

See, the game has a combo meter and score system. Theres something intriguingly satisfying about running from terrorist to terrorist shooting, swearing, punching, shooting, swearing, killing, stabbing, blowing up, swearing, shooting again and stabbing some more without stopping for time to rap. The "bing bing bing" noise tallying up your blood money score is like a little voice inside your head relentlessly encouraging you to go faster and kill, stab, punch and swear just one more time. The action is broken up by awfully scripted and nonsensical cutscenes, which are just as childishly funny as the rest of the game.

We laughed a lot while playing this game. Its stupid, ignorant, childish, needlessly violent and standard at best. It has the 'so bad its good' characteristic and for this reason alone [and the swear button] I would suggest playing it.

But, dont buy it! Steal it and call the shop keeper a mother fucker while you punch and stab him in the face.   read

1:46 PM on 04.22.2011

Portal 2

We all expected a tight script. The first game had a tight script. We all expected intelligent wit. After all, the first game was full of intelligent wit. I donít want to sound repetitive here, but we all expected amazingly constructed puzzles inside a wonderfully atmospheric world, a game with ultra-tight mechanics that never crumbled under pressure. This is because Portal 1 had all of these features. See, Portal 2 had a pretty hard act to follow. The small, but perfectly formed Portal 1 captured the hearts of many for being so damn good. Portal 2 is outstandingly good and pretty much better in every possible way. If you want to know why, then go and get the orange box and play Portal 1.. was pretty good, huh!? Having read my first incredibly well constructed paragraph you are now aware that the sequel to that masterpiece you just played is even fucking better! I know.. I couldnít believe it either.

Its longer and offers a glimpse into what the hell might have been going down over at the Aperture Science Laboratories. Iím not going to ruin anything about this special game. What I will talk about is the sound design. Nobody else seems to be talking about the sound design!? It is, without a doubt, the unsung hero of the game. Not the conversation, but the music and sound effects. From the booming of the environment that surrounds you, to the little vocal touches of the machinery, every moment of the game is accompanied with superb sound design. Then, there is the electronica that accompanies the games toys and mechanics. The simple glitch notes and synthesizer chords are a perfect ambience to the gameplay and atmosphere. But, as you near the conclusion of a puzzle, when you have multiple mechanics active and running in sync, then the audio comes alive with all of the audio layers working together to create stunning electronic sound-scapes.

Portal 2 is a game that offers an intelligent alternative to the violent face of videogaming. Its not going to be for everybody. But, for the people who do allow themselves to be drawn into Valveís world will be offered a hugely entertaining experience.

*I didnít mention the co-op as I havenít decided whom I want to play through it with yet. Iíll get back to you in the future   read

5:23 AM on 04.17.2010

space invaders artwork

I noticed that Destructoiders tend to enjoy videogame based art. I do a bit of scribbling myself. I drew this picture quite a long time ago and figured that I would post it here for no reason other than some of you might enjoy it :D

'new high score'

This is a dirty plug for my work too :P I have loads of other work hosted at:

(invasion:001 & invasion:002 were inspired by videogames too)
Vector33 Blog

I might start doing more videogame based stuff. Hope you like my work!
stay fly
munkee aka Vector33   read

4:32 AM on 04.10.2010

please verify your age

This is a really quick blog post that I need to write. Destructoid I would like to thank you! On your age rated videos you have a simple entry box, which asks the viewer to type in their date of birth. This is very quick and very efficient, which is pretty necessary in our rapid world of internet browsing. For some reason i get really annoyed when im ripping through web pages and have to stop, scroll downs lists of dates and years to watch a video. Come on internet, surely you have realized that we are all born on January 1st 1940 by now.   read

7:24 AM on 04.04.2010

ignorant or thoughtless?

I love destructoid and I generally love its community. But, lately it seems to be descending into a childish pit of obscenity and disrespect. It is obvious from visiting this site daily that the team put a huge amount of effort in behind the scenes to keeping everything running smoothly and bringing us all the latest news. Its pretty poor that the 'community' are so hasty to attack the writers for sharing their opinions. It has been said [and i agree] that if you don't like it, don't read it! But, is this just a get out of jail free card being played? Unfortunately, this blog post is a dig at Jim Sterling. I read his blogs. Sometimes I find them entertaining and sometimes I find them offensive. But, it is always just his own matter of opinion and we are all welcome to our own opinions. This weekend though Jim has posted a blog about the leaking of some sonic 4 content. Once again he has been unnecessarily offensive.

[url] Sonic 4 videos leaked [/url]

I feel pretty sure that these posts are written like this to fire people up and get a reaction. This is a great way for destructoid to get huge amounts of traffic and please the sponsors. Its clever marketing. I could be wrong and Jim is genuinely this negative outside of his job. What annoys me though is that he is biting the hand that feeds him.

The particular thing that has got me fired up enough to write this blog is Jims use of the word 'mong' in the sonic post.

Does nobody check through the articles before they are posted?

Correct me if i'm wrong. But, im pretty sure that the word 'mong' originates from the word 'mongoloid' which was originally used as a racially derogatory term. Over time it evolved into another derogatory term for a person suffering from the mental illness downs-syndrome. Being from England, where the term was used widely for years, i'm pretty sure that Jim Sterling is aware of this. I feel that Jim is well aware of the social status & communicative power he has on the internet. It wouldn't be too hard to show a little more respect to the readers. I feel that these thoughtless, negative, often hypocritical and aggressive posts are the reason that Destructoids comment sections have sunk into an all time low.

I read a lot of destructoid. Positive blog posts entice a positive response. Negative blog posts entice a negative response. Troll bait entices trolls.

Also, to the reading/commenting community. I think a HUGE amount of people acted disgustingly on the metro 33 not-review. There was no need for that response at all!

Its not just up to the staff. It is up to us as a community to keep destructoid pleasant.

munkee   read

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