Today is Orange Box day. That’s it.

Oh, and if you need some motivation or would like to hear well-spoken game peoples talk about a simply incredible game, the Gamer’s Quarter has a nice podcast talking about Half-Life 2’s insignificant annoyances and numerous triumphs.

I have a few unhealthy cravings. Videogame-wise, there are three games that take priority in a King of the Hill game for my mind and pleasure centers. The Orange Box being one, Final Fantasy Tactics: The War of the Lions being another, and Final Fantasy Tactics A2 being the third.

Despite being critically acclaimed by critics, who I wouldn’t dare bestow the duties of holding my grain of salt, Final Fantasy Tactics Advance was shunned by fans of the original PS1 Final Fantasy Tactics. Why was this? Well, because those said fans loved the original and all its trappings and had waited years for another game of the same trappings, yet instead, Square tried to do something it does from time to time: something different.

“Please sir, I want some more.”

So Matsuno gave you a slight change of pace, and you gave a bitter face. Complaints of the inconvenient judges and Law System and story revolving around the fantasy of children come to life were what the whiny curmudgeons held to their bosoms. If you actually welcomed this game into open arms and mind, you’d find yourself amidst a truly enjoyable adventure of a heartwarming group of cast abouts finding their place.

Even now, without Yasumi Matsuno (Tactics Ogre, Ogre Battle, Vagrant Story, FFTA, FFXII), the game still seems to be one the same path he set. The game starts similarly to FFTA with your character Luso in his regular world. He plays a prank and is punished and sent to the library, where he finds a book just as the FFTA gang had. Yet, this time, Luso is transported to a type of Ivalice we all know and love from FFXII, not the Ivalice created from strong emotions. Even Vaan and Penelo make guest appearances to semi-cement this, with FFTA2 taking place some time after FFXII.

Upon fan reception of FFTA, the team has made some changes to the indirect sequel. Judges won’t be mandatory. Instead, other clans will have their own judge, but you may choose whether or not to bring one into your guild. While being free of penalties and restrictions, having a judge could be to your benefit, as you won’t receive certain rewards for obeying the law and your party members won’t revive after a battle without one.



Other mainstays are six familiar races (Hume, Moogle, Viera, Bangaa, Seeq, Nu Mou) along with a new race (Gria), some FFXIII espers, and of course, a Cid. Some old and new jobs make an appearance: Yojimbo, Master Monk, Cannoneer, Arcane Mage, Magic Fencer, Knight, Magic Gunner, Raptor, Bastard, Lanista, Pirate, Hunter, Ranger, Chocobo Jock, etc. As for battle it looks like the same grid-based, Conditional Turn-Based system. Though, Tim Rogers makes mention of an Active Time System. Whether that’s for two-player versus matches or not, I’m not entirely assured. If you’re a happy NeoGAF camper, please feel free to make that point clear. Also returning is the Pub HQ where you accept missions.

No official mention of a US release has been made, but I wouldn’t fret. But if anything, I have to figure out how I’m going to pay for both a DS Lite and PSP Slim. Jeanne d’Arc and Final Fantasy Tactics: The War of the Lions both look so nice. Ah, crap. SRPG fans, the doors to poverty are open. Greet them sans tears.

Everyone loves needless, forgettable tidbits of information. Tabloids, polls, FOX News, all testaments to humanity’s creepy desire to know who snacks on ice or which upstanding socialite enjoys vulgar scenes of canines and desperate women. What makes this any different than a Snapple cap or a NSFW video? If there was anyone you’d want more insight on, it’d be Fumito Ueda, and his two majestic, alluring monuments of natural formation, ICO and Shadow of the Colossus. Team ICO Gamers have comprised a nifty little fifty-factoid list for anyone interested. There are at least four SPOILERS for anyone who has somehow committed such blasphemy as to not experience Ueda’s tales of detailed minimalist beauty, but they did have the courtesy of pointing them out. Yet, chances are if you’re reading this that’s not a concern.

A few examples of note:

3. Fumito Ueda visited the Great Canyon to research Shadow of the Colossus

I might be wrong, and if I am, feel free to gently guide me on the right path, but I think that they meant “Grand Canyon.” Still, great place, to be sure! Certainly a trip put to good use!

12. Staff members used to wonder why they were working on Yorda's strange movements (strolling around, following birds) because they didn't affect gameplay in any way

Aw, that’s great.

17. The team intentionally avoided using the maximum graphic specs in order to give ICO something different and make it stand out

That too. What an f’ing nice tribute to our NEXT-GEN current generation.

From Simon & Garfunkel to Giovanni Battista Piranesi, Fumito Ueda fills my heart with warmth and hope.

Credit to Zara for the photoshop pic. THANKS!

In the latest twenty-second clip promoting No More Heroes, Suda51’s displaying some nice merchandise, probably at profoundly appropriate prices! Also presented here, he’s sporting a nice INLAND EMPIRE tee. Suda51 loves the wacky and sporadic. Killer7’s teacher/mother/secret lover was Jodorowsky’s El Topo.



Maybe gameplay can be fun on this tale. Certainly looks interesting. On the next project, could I expect a protagonist with Kramer hair in a quirky romcom? HOPE SO!

You got a resounding SEVEN from most reviewers who have the capacities of a fulcrum, yet I cherished you. Sure, you got a bit breezy, a bit pandering at times, and your Hayao Miyazaki-reminiscing soap opera story got a little weird (both interesting and peculiar weird), but your pseudo life sim ways were ever so charming and fun! A nice middle ground between Harvest Moon and Animal Crossing with someone’s mechanized fantasy circa 1930. Some of Destructoid sure did appreciate you. Now, I see you’re coming around again, moved from PS2 development to the PS3, yet I understand if you wouldn’t want to come over to the states. Please, give it another thought. I’ll welcome you into my heart again, honest.

Yours truly,
mteerie

If robots had their own Marvin Gaye, it’d be Crystal Castles*. Nothing gets the circuits sparking and warping than the sex program of two robots with the regard of devil-may-care, teenage angst-filled high school students and the beautiful apathy of Chobot interviewing a dork blatantly displaying his opinions on dignity.

They are Crystal Castles.
They are 1 boy and 1 girl.
They are named after She-Ra's home.
They play rough.
They are from Toronto.

It’s electronic 8-bit audio rape, which might as well be honey poured in my ear. They use a keyboard containing an Atari 5200 sound chip, and the lead rapist screams into the mic trying to match the decibel levels of everyone else as if to be a mechanical instrument of filthy deeds herself.

I had the pleasure of witnessing the spectacle first hand last night when they opened for fellow Torontonians Metric. Here are the visuals:






Yeah, I'm raping this strobe light with my naughty bits.






Aw, we're wearing the same thing! Oh my gosh!


Ethereal.




Apathy hasn't been this attractive in a long time. Credit goes to William Haley.

Kieron Gillen writes about music too! Here's his interview with Crystal Castles!

Crystal Castles tour dates here!

*Disclaimer: if you don't like this, don't listen to it.