If robots had their own Marvin Gaye, it’d be Crystal Castles*. Nothing gets the circuits sparking and warping than the sex program of two robots with the regard of devil-may-care, teenage angst-filled high school students and the beautiful apathy of Chobot interviewing a dork blatantly displaying his opinions on dignity.

They are Crystal Castles.
They are 1 boy and 1 girl.
They are named after She-Ra's home.
They play rough.
They are from Toronto.

It’s electronic 8-bit audio rape, which might as well be honey poured in my ear. They use a keyboard containing an Atari 5200 sound chip, and the lead rapist screams into the mic trying to match the decibel levels of everyone else as if to be a mechanical instrument of filthy deeds herself.

I had the pleasure of witnessing the spectacle first hand last night when they opened for fellow Torontonians Metric. Here are the visuals:






Yeah, I'm raping this strobe light with my naughty bits.






Aw, we're wearing the same thing! Oh my gosh!


Ethereal.




Apathy hasn't been this attractive in a long time. Credit goes to William Haley.

Kieron Gillen writes about music too! Here's his interview with Crystal Castles!

Crystal Castles tour dates here!

*Disclaimer: if you don't like this, don't listen to it.