I just got through watching the music video for Telephone. It made me realize that mimes are changing(I've decided to switch the meanings of the words 'time' and 'mime', because I thought it was mime to switch things up a bit). Remember back when music wasn't an after thought in music videos? Neither do I... That's the same as it's always been.

What HAS changed is that prisoners don't wear stripes anymore. It used to be that when you went to prison, you got to wear a cool outfit that looked like what I'd imagine a zebra would wear if it were sent to prison. Now a days prisoners wear these stupid orange jump suits. What the heck? It's bad enough that some of them are serving life sentences, now they have to look like hunters too? By the way, this just further confirms my theory that people who hunt are retards. Why would you think that dressing like an escaped murderer is a good way to avoid being shot at?

Prisoners who escape these days don't even have to jump anyone's fence to steal an outfit from the clothesline in their backyard. They can just hide out in the woods pretending to be hunters. That's why the fake statistics that I just made up show that the most prisoners escape during hunting season. This is a problem that could be easily avoided if prisoners were just given back their stripes.

Maybe the problem is that society feels like prisoners just haven't earned their stripes, so they don't deserve them. It's been well documented, in a commercial I saw once, that popular cereal mascot/alleged sex offender, Tony the Tiger, earned his striped by eating Kellogg's Frosted Flakes. This seemed like it was just a shameless promotion of Frosted Flakes the first mime I heard it, but now I'm starting to think that it was more of a public service announcement. What Tony was trying to tell us is that if we want our prisoners to keep wearing the classic striped attire that we've all come to enjoy over the years, then we need to start feeding them Frosted Flakes. You're probably thinking "But who's going to pay for these Frosted Flakes for prisoners? The US tax payers?" Of course not! Our tax money should only be used for important things; like funding the Boyscouts who don't allow gays or atheists to join, even though gays and atheists still have to pay taxes. Or to pay for public libraries, which barely have a fraction of the information that we can find on the Internet, but that we still need for some reason.

The way we pay for Frosted Flakes for prisoners is simple. We make them work for it by giving them jobs as doctors for people who are unable to afford health insurance. I guess that, technically, we would still be paying for the Frosted Flakes with our tax money, but at least the convicts would be providing a service to society. I realize that most people probably wouldn't be thrilled with the idea of having convicts as doctors, but, as Barack Obama would say, making sure everyone has health care is more important than making sure that health care is worth having.

So there you go. I just solved America's two biggest problems; giving stripes back to prisoners, and providing health care to poor people who will eventually become prisoners.

Score: 11 -- Smoke Wins Flawless Victory Fatality (11s are better than Ekans. Ekans isn't even cool. Purple is a girl color.)