Hey guys! Jim Snerdley here! Writer for popular gaming/porn site, constructron.foot. I'm here to share some great news with you guys! Our beloved mascot, Dr. Constructron, will be a playable character in the hot new PS3 title, God of War 3!

As you know, Dr. Constructron has already made guest appearances in games such as Capcom Vs. Dr. Constructron: New Age of Subtitles, and Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing Featuring Banjo-Kazooie Plus Also Featuring Dr. Constructron, but his latest cameo in God of War 3 is looking to be his best yet!



Of course, you won't be able to play as Dr. Constructron from the start. Don't worry though, because the way to unlock him is very simple. All you have to do is beat God of War 3 on the hardest difficulty setting without saving or dying once. You must also collect all of the trophies in a single play through(If you've already collected some of the trophies in a previous play through, you'll have to create a new PSN account and start over again).

Now you need to build a shrine to Kratos in your closet. At 2:30 PM every single day for a week, you must face the shrine from wherever you are in the world(WILL NOT WORK FROM OUTER SPACE), and you must bow down and pray. This next part is where it gets a little tricky. You now need to travel to Lake Okanagan in Canada and sacrifice a small goat to the monster that inhabits the lake. Once you've done that, you then need to recite the entire Book of Mormon, from memory, as loud as you can while standing in a public library.

You now must climb to the peek of Mount Everest. Once at the top, you will find an altar. Place your God of War 3 disc on the altar and smash it with a hammer. If you've done everything correctly, a genie should come out of the broken disc. You may recognize the genie as the genie from Diddy Kong Racing(NOTE: It's the genie from Aladdin if you have the PAL version of the game). The genie will grant you 3 wishes. For your first wish you'll need to wish for a new copy of God of War 3, since you just smashed your first copy. Then, for your second wish, simply wish for Dr. Constructron to be a playable character in the game. A sound will confirm correct code entry. There you go, you should now be able to play as Dr. Constructron in God of War 3!

Your 3rd wish can be for anything that your heart desires, but, whatever you do, DO NOT WISH FOR CHILD PORNOGRAPHY. The genie WILL report you to the authorities.