Dead Space 2 Review by Craig Tiller; Age 12 - Destructoid

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My name is Joseph. I have a computer, I eat food, all my socks have holes in them, I almost never wear a cape, and I'm currently using that computer I told you about before.
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Dead Space 2 is a game I played. I'm going to write about its cool things, scary things, and sexy things. The first time I beat it my brother played all the hard parts for me. Then I played it again and beat it all by myself. I've beaten it like a billion times since then. I'm the best at my school at Dead Space 2.

I got Dead Space 2 for Christmas. My mom said I could pick out two games. So I got Dead Space 2 and Mario & Sonic At The Walk For Breast Cancer Awareness. Plus I got NAMBLA Vs. Capcom: New Age of Consent from my Uncle Tod. My Uncle Tod always makes me sit in his lap. He's kinda weird. I think Dead Space 2 was originally 'spose to be called Dead Space, but that name was already taken by this other game. Dead Space 2 is the sequel to Killzone, which was the sequel to Murder Area.

You play as this dude called Isaac, and you get this awesome weapon called a Diamond Cutter. You have to fight off all these scary guys who are trying to kill you. This one time I brought it over to my friend Billy's house and he watched me play it and my friend was all like "Whoa! That's cool!" and I was like "I know, right?" Then my friend's mom got us McDonald's on her way home from her job in the mall. This one time we got to go with her to work and we got to hang out in the mall all day. It was so cool.

There are all these scary parts to Dead Space 2. I have to sleep with my night light on because I played it so much. This one time I had this scary dream that my Taylor Swift doll came to life and was finally able to press charges against me. My friend Billy I was telling you about before has this cool dog named Rosco. I asked my dad if we could get a dog and he said maybe for my birthday. If I do get a dog I'm gonna name it Dead Space 2. Dead Space 2 is just that good(Editor's note: The game; not Craig's future dog).

Dead Space 2 is the best haunted house ever! Games can count as haunted houses, right? I'm pretty sure they can as long as they're scary. I'll ask my grandpa tomorrow cause he's super smart. Dead Space 2 is way better than this haunted house I went to with my friend Billy. Not the one who has the dog, but this other friend I have whose name is Billy too! I have two friends named Billy. It's so weird. Sometimes I'll be like "Hey, Billy!" and they both answer me at the same time. It's so funny. There's this other kid at school whose name is Billy too, but I barely even know that kid. One time I had a class with the Billy who had the dog and the other Billy who I'm not really friends with and our teacher would always get their papers mixed up. And the Billy who had the dog had another class with the Billy who I went to the haunted house with and I wasn't in that class, but they said that teacher did the same exact thing!

Also, my teacher has a dog named Billy! Isn't that funny? I asked my dad if we could get a dog and he said maybe for my birthday. If I do get a dog I'm gonna name it Dead Space 2! Or I might name it Bandit. I can't member if I already told you guys about that. Anyway, you guys should definitely get Dead Space 2 cause it's freaking sweet. Oh, and you should also get Madden 2011 too!

9/10 ABC Editors' Choice

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