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mollygos | 10:50 PM on 07.04.2010 30 comments


In video games, particularly of the role-playing genre, monsters seem to lurk outside the bounds of every village. With few exceptions, every corner of the world map is populated by everything from mutated animals to mischievous goblins, to enormous fire-breathing dragons. It's a scary world! How's your Average Joe expected to survive in such a place? How are things like trade, farming for resources, colonization, or even long-distance communication supposed to thrive when the average person isn't even experienced or armed enough to leave their homes?



On occasion, the game gives a brief explanation as to how the world came to be so overwhelmingly inhabited by bad guys. In Final Fantasy IX for example, it was blamed on the Mist coming out of the Iifa tree. From this, you could infer that the monsters were a recent occurence and that many of them would disappear once your part in the story was over. But if that's the case, why isn't everyone flipping the fuck out over it?! You know that if this sort of thing happened in the real world, it'd be a really really big deal. The government would declare a State of Emergency and you'd begin to hear news stories about it every single night, until people genuinely complained that they were sick of hearing about it. We'd have religious fanatics in the streets preaching about Armageddon and the next coming of Jesus (as if we don't get enough of that already). Many people, fearing invasion, would be stocking up on survival essentials and weapons, stampeding over each other in Stop&Shops and Wal-Marts the world over which, in itself, would result in several gruesome deaths. The more desperate, panicked citizens would go so far as to raid grocery stores and even other homes, hurting others in the process. If it can happen during hurricane warnings and Black Friday Sales, it would certainly happen with the sudden threat of monsters.



But let's imagine for a moment that the threat wasn't sudden. More often than not, games don't bother explaining the presence of evil beasties in their world. So are we meant to believe they've always been around? Surely that'd be less detrimental to society. People would be used to it, right? Life would go on as normal.
Except it wouldn't. With your average citizen unable to leave their neighborhood without being attacked, settlements would be largely isolated from each other. You'd need trained and well-armed soldiers to protect merchant caravans trading goods from city to city. It'd get costly to do a whole lot of travelling, so trading would be fairly scarce. Traveling for research or for anything would be a large and frightening ordeal, so even trading of knowledge might be kind of rare. This means that technology would advance much more slowly without a convenient way for great minds to share new information. Everyone might actually be more stupid, if you can imagine it. Branching out to be able to learn more might not be worth the risk!



Basically, video games like to place you in worlds with evil creatures that are, for some reason or another, determined to mutilate or eat you. Even the plants are out to get you, and somehow you're expected to survive long enough to save the world. I mean, shit...you're just some guy. Who do they think you are-- Bear Grylls? And the scariest part is, nobody else in the world seems to care that there are giant chimeras outside the city gates. They just want to play cards with you and make vague Star Trek references. This isn't to say that RPGs should be changed, or that this particular aspect of them is unrealistic and stupid-- not at all! I like them exactly the way they are. Just observing that perhaps the societies portrayed in video games are much more well-equipped to handle sudden monster invasions than we are. If such creatures existed en masse in reality the way they do in the RPGs we know and love, you might find the world would be a much less laid back place.



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28 comments | showing # 1 to 28
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Bojangles Stringfellow's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/04/2010 23:30
Bojangles Stringfellow
You get no faps, and my god have mercy on your soul.

(Just kidding it was well written and I liked it 5/5)
SAMA1984's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/05/2010 04:23
SAMA1984
I fully agree. Bring on an RPG where people are actually panicking over the monsters outside!

But at least you don't get suddenly attacked by enemies who pop up randomly to attack you, without having a chance to avoid them. Random battles would really suck.
mollygos's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/05/2010 06:32
mollygos
Well, the point was really what would happen if there were monsters in reality, not that things should be different in RPGs.
manasteel88's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/05/2010 10:32
manasteel88
If video games have taught me anything...well its how to survive zombie hordes. Monsters are a whole different bag of scary. I mean really, I'm supposed to kill a fire breathing dragon with a sword or a staff? It breathes fire not rainbows!
AwesomeExMachina's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/05/2010 10:32
AwesomeExMachina
Evil Beetle is my new favorite thing.
prrulz's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/05/2010 10:38
prrulz
@ Sama

*Cough cough* the world ends with you *cough cough*
Elsa's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/05/2010 10:43
Elsa
I wonder if it might be more like Monster Hunter... new source of meat! MMMM..... dinner! :)
mollygos's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/05/2010 10:46
mollygos
I didn't actually think of Monster Hunter! Would be interesting.
the guy with the hat's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/05/2010 11:16
the guy with the hat
I'M ONLY FAPPING BECAUSE SHE TOLD ME TO. :D
Xander Markham's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/05/2010 11:28
Xander Markham
On the plus side, it would make trips to the shop and the school run more interesting. Terrific and very funny post, the best of this month's Musings that I've read so far.
mollygos's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/05/2010 11:29
mollygos
That's true. You'd have a lot more excuses for skipping school. You could tell the teacher you were attacked by Slimes.

Also, thanks for the compliment. It really means a lot. :)
Xander Markham's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/05/2010 11:58
Xander Markham
Not only that, but the old 'a monster ate my homework' excuse would suddenly become exceptionally credible.
Knivy's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/05/2010 13:16
Knivy
Don't forget the conspiracy theorists that would say that the government created the monsters and then released them for some sort of economic or political power gain.
JJMccallum's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/05/2010 15:41
JJMccallum
Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap............awwwwww i need a new keyboard
Ramalho's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/05/2010 16:01
Ramalho
Molly told me to fap to her, so I guess I should do so. I won't enjoy it though, it wouldn't *FEEL* right.
mollygos's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/05/2010 16:03
mollygos
I did not, I said to read and fap, unless you think it's shit.

!!!
JJMccallum's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/05/2010 16:09
JJMccallum
Molly is doing nothing but hurting us!!!!!!!!!
mollygos's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/05/2010 16:11
mollygos
rofl
You guys are terrible. TERRIBLE.
the guy with the hat's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/05/2010 16:15
the guy with the hat
Molly killed my fish and said she'll kill my dog too if I don't fap
Ramalho's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/05/2010 16:16
Ramalho
I promised not to say anything in those lines again, but I'm scared, please don't get the golf club again. D:
Shoop's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/05/2010 18:29
Shoop
I love that you always just happen to live in a village surrounded by squishy weak monsters in every RPG. What happens if you're born into a city with megadragons and shit outside? D:
grafkhun's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/05/2010 21:08
grafkhun
Excellent. In RPGs, I've always assumed traveling merchants hired escorts or they themselves were capable of fending away monsters. But... then how does the average citizen get around? Hmmm...
Tino's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/06/2010 09:16
Tino
I thoroughly enjoyed this, and the follow up fap.

Thank you.
the guy with the hat's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/06/2010 15:59
the guy with the hat
She killed my dog anyway... :'(
beverlynoelle's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/07/2010 14:28
beverlynoelle
Man, I would FLIP MY SHIT if I walked out the door and was assaulted by, like, a wild Vulpix. SQUEEEEEEE
Ramalho's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/07/2010 15:33
Ramalho
A Growlithe are way more awesome than a Vulpix, just like an Arcanine > Ninetales
Ramalho's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/11/2010 09:51
Ramalho
is*
JT Murphy's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/12/2010 18:47
JT Murphy
If there were video game monsters in real life, we'd deal with them the same way we deal with the ones that already exist. Decimate their numbers with excessive force. Exploit their hides for food and commerce. Bulldoze their habitats and replace them with farms or highways. Push them to the fringes of the land we want to use, and employ entire squadrons of well-trained people to ensure they stay there. We're humans, dammit, and when there's money to be made, ain't nothing that can stand in our way.
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