This question is probably a bad way to start off my series of "stupid" questions, as this question is not stupid, it's very disturbing (kids cover your ears) and simply boggling to me. In the past three weeks, I have not found an answer or even a legitimate excuse as to why it keeps happening.

I ventured through my basement one day where my room happens to reside and I had a completely natural urge to empty my vowels (kids cover your ears) so I went along to the washroom.

I felt something was strange and wrong about my washroom, Maybe the shower's towel was gone? It was a much larger feeling than that. Maybe I was running dry on toilet paper? I soon discovered what was making me so paranoid.

It seems some one has broken into my basement and droppled a deuce in my toilet. Who would do that? I know it's not anybody I'm living with, because nobody in my family has enough power to generate such an epic mud-penguin.

The brown child must weigh a hefty amount and I was fearful to dispose of it, as it seemed like one of those enormous logs that need splitting with a diamond cutter in order to fit through the toilet. Fear is the only way to describe the feeling you get from trying to flush that monster.

My question is, who has been breaking into my washroom and birthing a mud-baby in my toilet? (yes it's happened before, and now I'm scared to go in there) and if you say it's me, I'd be surprised I survived the weight. I feel truly violated, you wouldn't think of your toilet as a sanctuary, but knowing a stranger has used your throne feels cheap and dirty.

This is a video game website, so why not, which video game tyrant mass-produced basketball-sized clay-bombs in my toilet? Bowser? Ganondorf? One of the Metal Gears?