An Open Letter to Cloopers* of the D-toid Nation

[*Having just dropped a new word into your lexicon (there's two!), I must first define this word before I can continue onto the meat of my post.

The word "Clooper" that I have just invented is composed of many parts. The "Cl-" comes from the common term "Clog", a word used for the "Community Blogs." The "-oop" comes from "Scoop", a word I'm sure we're all familiar with that means "getting to a news story first."

"-er" means "a person that does something." Please retake third grade English.

It is a fortunate piece of happenstance, indeed, that the "-ooper" could also be said to be taken from the word "Pooper", as in "Party Pooper."

In this case, a Party Pooper would mean I'm having a great party -- all my friends are here and we're all drinking and talking about things we think are neat -- then said Pooper shows up and exclaims "Hay guys! I had a party just like this at my house like three hours ago!"

He then runs over to my VCR (I still have one) and pops in a tape of him and two or three people he knows getting drunk on ice beer and carrying on with considerably less panache (hat-trick!).

In this case, my reaction would be to tar-and-feather him while kicking him to the curb, and also taking his six-pack for myself.

Sorry for my tangent. Having defined my new word, I move on to my actual letter.]


Dear Cloopers:

No one cares. Stop spamming.

kthxbai,

mispelt