Where the hell is it, Bill? Where do I cancel my X-Box Live account? Do NOT do this to me. I know these tricks. I MADE these tricks. Not really, but I swear I do know them.

I went to X-Box Live this morning after discovering that they are going to auto renew my account when my current subscription has been timed out. I understand that's useful for people who have both the available funds to maintain it and the X-Box to use it, but DnD 4-edition just came out and I'm not at home anymore to play my brother's 360.

I explain this to you, yet you are persistent in your defiance of my will. I've searched your support long and wide with little or no information on your actual X-Box Live site (they only tell you on Windows Live, dumb, no?). Finally I got to the "Account and Billing section", which has a "cancel account" subsection. "Finally," I exclaimed, after spending about 40 minutes clicking links and growing anxious with wrath.

Oh, so this is what you're gonna pull on me? THIS is how I cancel my account. No. NO! I refuse. This is ridiculous. You didn't even give me schedule of your hours. However, I can at least respect how direct you are in your disregard of your customers. It's damn near transparent.

By the way, here is the number you should call should you want to cancel your subscription to X-Box Live:

1-800-469-9269

I suggest you don't forget that this might be trick in and of itself. They've made me angry with all their smoke and mirrors. I will get you Microsoft and when that day comes, I want you to call: 1-800-XP-SUCKS.