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tony@destructoid.com

Many video games build upon the concepts and mechanics of their forerunners. Off-Brand Games examines those that draw just a little too much... inspiration.

00 Introduction
01 Power Blazer
02 Commando: Steel Disaster
03 Snood
04 Midnight Resistance
05 8 Eyes
06 Onimusha Blade Warriors
07 The Krion Conquest
08 Scurge: Hive
09 3-D WorldRunner
10 Alundra
11 Chex Quest
12 Giana Sisters DS
13 Run Saber
14 Crusader of Centy
15 DuLuDuBi Star
16 Fighter's History
17 Robopon
18 The Simpsons Road Rage
19 Neutopia
20 Ruff Trigger: The Vanocore Conspiracy
21 Soul of Darkness *Official Review*
22 High Seas Havoc
23 Tube Slider
24 Tales of Elastic Boy - Mission 1 *Official Review*

MONTHLY MUSINGS

A Time to Build: Fangames
A Time to Destroy: The games that destroy us
Playing With Others: Let's play a game, dad!
Playing With Yourself: Travel, Game Boy, and you
Expanded Universes: Learning Japanese culture with Mega Man
Those About to Die: Mega Man and the burden of fratricide
Other Worlds Than These: Inconstancy in the Mario universe
Regarding E3: Reactionary motion
Untapped Potential: A true family computer
I Suck at Games: The blame game
The Forgotten: Battletoads on the go and in the arcades
Nothing Is Sacred: Kill the controller
Love/Hate: The NES was great... no, it wasn't!
The Future: Death

SPECIAL SAUCE

Too much vision: Stop concerning yourself with game potential
'Immersion' is a nonsense buzzword
Style Savvy: The review no one needs for the game no one wants
Why Mega Man 6 is the best of the Mega Mans
Wii Fit and Heavy Rain are not that different

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'Round and 'round we go!
Tony Ponce \| 8:51 PM on 02.04.2010	23 comments

The more things change, the more things stay the same:

What is this garbage!?

This is just lazy, Capcom! You give us a brand-new classic Mega Man but with old and shitty retro graphics! How cheap can you be? You aren't even trying! This is literally just an NES game! Video games have advanced! This should be with modern graphics in HD and with new gameplay mechanics! Give me back my slide and charge shot!

My enthusiasm for this game is next to nothing now!

What is this garbage!?

This is just lazy, Sega! You give us a brand-new classic Sonic the Hedgehog but with the new and shitty art design! How cheap can you be? You aren't even trying! We just want another Genesis game! This game doesn't need to advance! This should be with classic graphics... in HD... and with the old gameplay mechanics! Take out the homing attack and goofy green eyes!

My enthusiasm for this game is next to nothing now!

Meanwhile, on Planet McNinja...

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Those who have fapped: mollygos

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23 comments | showing # 1 to 23

mollygos

Well played, sir.

Jack Maverick

Haters gonna hate. That's how the internet works, man.

Also, how on earth did I manage to forget about Dr. McNinja?

Monodi

Oh fuck yes, you read Dr. McNinja too!

DaedHead8

Fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap

Chris Carter

I think there are legitmately more haters for Sonic's new shitty 3D graphics than Mega Man 9's retro style.

The retro style was a gamble: it was admirable, and it was a fresh take on the new market, filled with tons of awful looking 3D-ish arcade games (the Rocket Knight remake for one).

Kraid

Upon seeing what you have done at present, I was enlighted.

ryderbackside

Rad.

Xzyliac

Yeah. Haters gonna hate. As I said in DaedHead's blog: Nerds. Everyone on earth will be having fun. Nerds will constantly bitch, bitch, bitch.

SuperDance

That's how the Internet works.

Take the Watchmen movie for example. People were complaining about how it was too much like the book.

If it were the exact opposite and made a bunch of changes while still being good, there would have been just as many people complaining.

It is physically impossible to satisfy the Internet.

TheCleaningGuy

Thank you so much for this. :)

Excel-2011

Nothing to add here.

Enkido

The internet is not pleased, ever.

bluexy

Fuuuuuuuuck you. Legitimate criticism for a brand with a sordid past. If Sonic had been putting out solid titles like Megaman these past years you'd have a great point. As it is, you be trollin' yo.

Excel-2011

@superdance14:
Why would you want to satisfy the internet? You saw what happened to Scribblenauts, didn't you?

Elsa

Dr. McNinja?? Really?

For some reason that name just makes me laugh!

Great blog!

robotbebop

A very valid and powerful argument, front page!

the Company

This blog is garbage!

This is just lazy, megaStryke! You give us a brand-new classic blog post but with old and shitty retro sarcasm! How cheap can you be? You aren't even trying! This is literally just a Jim Sterling post! The english language has advanced! This should be written with modern vernacular in Neutra Face and with new word play! Give me back my hilarious captions!

My enthusiasm for this blog is next to nothing now!

Sean Carey

Good thing you also stay the same -- <3 this blog.

theredpepperofdoom

I love how people are flipping out about Sonic 4 when they've seen about two seconds of gameplay, which was sonic running through a loop.
Stupid nerds.

low tech

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
�Bill Cosby

That quote came from this article, which after I read, the entire universe made sense to me.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnpleasableFanbase

PlayHangman

Lol.

Those Nerds.

Qalamari

How rude.

GEMPadre036

Well said, Mr. Strike. Well said...

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Living the dream since March 16, 2006