So yesterday I went and finally saw GI Joe. I've been waiting for a live-action Joe flick since I was 7 years old, so naturally I had to write a blog post about the experience.

I'm sure you guys have already seen it, already forgotten about it..yeah, I'll admit, our childhood memories were slaughtered, nostalgia was butchered...but the heart and soul of GI Joe was still there, full force.



" . . ."



I could've done without the lame like, baby blue camo that they wore in the PIT. What the hell was with the word "G.I. Joe" woven into the camo pattern? Come on!!! How is that practical at all? That's like fashionable camo bullshit. That's the kind of crap I'd expect for the like, post-movie merchandise that would come out. But in the actual movie!?!?!

The relationships between characters were more or less entirely messed up. I wasn't so pissed about this, because there had to be some logical way to link all the characters in a 2 hour "introduction" movie to the Joe's and Cobra/MARS. The Duke and Baroness relationship, for example..I just saw this as one of those "alternate universe" tales we see so much in comics - GI Joe: Reloaded, for example.
The Snake Eyes/Storm Shadow origin was sort of laughable but I really couldn't care less about it once I saw the two of them as adults, in their respective roles. If you ask me, Storm Shadow was too much of a pretty boy, especially with his friggin' swoop bangs protruding from beneath his mask..but it was all worth seeing the two of them clash weapons.



"Contrary to what you may believe, I am in this movie for all of two minutes..."



I couldn't really complain about the casting that much. Yeah Duke and Baroness were sort of weak..I especially couldn't stand how Baroness completely lacked an accent. I mean, doesn't Sienna Miller have an accent by DEFAULT!?! Visually though, she pulled her part off 100%. I figured Marlon Wayans was going to act like a Animaniac or something along those lines, so I wasn't really irritated by him. Breaker was nothing like how he was in the comics. I appreciated how they used a guy of Middle Eastern descent, it was a good twist..but he was so damn whiny, and I don't think ever engaged one enemy in combat.
Cobra Commander/ The Doctor, really good..but his costume was just such a far cry from the original cloth/mirror mask that it was most unfortunate. Perhaps for the sequel?

Cover Girl dying an hour into the movie. Awesome.


I lamented over the fact that a lot of cool vehicles and weaponry didn't get enough screen time. From what I remember, we saw a lot of those VTOL craft (Mongoose?), and lots of mini-subs..but one Night Raven? Those arctic sled things were cool too, I would've loved to see a slick chase scene with them.

All in all though, I truly felt that the essence of GI Joe was captured. A fast-paced action flick that didn't take itself too seriously, complete with accents of 1970's spy thriller cheese. It retained that sort of campiness from the cartoon and toy line, throwing you back through time and and transporting you to the care free years of your childhood.



Heh..you probably thought you were important because you were BLONDE.



Here's hoping for a sequel with less power suits, more Snake Eyes, more vehicles and cooler outfits.



(Oh yeah..and I won't be ashamed to own the game once I can get it for $20)