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A Rarity - At The Movies w/ GI Joe (spoilers)
mcbennet | 11:43 AM on 08.16.2009 6 comments


So yesterday I went and finally saw GI Joe. I've been waiting for a live-action Joe flick since I was 7 years old, so naturally I had to write a blog post about the experience.

I'm sure you guys have already seen it, already forgotten about it..yeah, I'll admit, our childhood memories were slaughtered, nostalgia was butchered...but the heart and soul of GI Joe was still there, full force.



" . . ."



I could've done without the lame like, baby blue camo that they wore in the PIT. What the hell was with the word "G.I. Joe" woven into the camo pattern? Come on!!! How is that practical at all? That's like fashionable camo bullshit. That's the kind of crap I'd expect for the like, post-movie merchandise that would come out. But in the actual movie!?!?!

The relationships between characters were more or less entirely messed up. I wasn't so pissed about this, because there had to be some logical way to link all the characters in a 2 hour "introduction" movie to the Joe's and Cobra/MARS. The Duke and Baroness relationship, for example..I just saw this as one of those "alternate universe" tales we see so much in comics - GI Joe: Reloaded, for example.
The Snake Eyes/Storm Shadow origin was sort of laughable but I really couldn't care less about it once I saw the two of them as adults, in their respective roles. If you ask me, Storm Shadow was too much of a pretty boy, especially with his friggin' swoop bangs protruding from beneath his mask..but it was all worth seeing the two of them clash weapons.



"Contrary to what you may believe, I am in this movie for all of two minutes..."



I couldn't really complain about the casting that much. Yeah Duke and Baroness were sort of weak..I especially couldn't stand how Baroness completely lacked an accent. I mean, doesn't Sienna Miller have an accent by DEFAULT!?! Visually though, she pulled her part off 100%. I figured Marlon Wayans was going to act like a Animaniac or something along those lines, so I wasn't really irritated by him. Breaker was nothing like how he was in the comics. I appreciated how they used a guy of Middle Eastern descent, it was a good twist..but he was so damn whiny, and I don't think ever engaged one enemy in combat.
Cobra Commander/ The Doctor, really good..but his costume was just such a far cry from the original cloth/mirror mask that it was most unfortunate. Perhaps for the sequel?

Cover Girl dying an hour into the movie. Awesome.


I lamented over the fact that a lot of cool vehicles and weaponry didn't get enough screen time. From what I remember, we saw a lot of those VTOL craft (Mongoose?), and lots of mini-subs..but one Night Raven? Those arctic sled things were cool too, I would've loved to see a slick chase scene with them.

All in all though, I truly felt that the essence of GI Joe was captured. A fast-paced action flick that didn't take itself too seriously, complete with accents of 1970's spy thriller cheese. It retained that sort of campiness from the cartoon and toy line, throwing you back through time and and transporting you to the care free years of your childhood.



Heh..you probably thought you were important because you were BLONDE.



Here's hoping for a sequel with less power suits, more Snake Eyes, more vehicles and cooler outfits.



(Oh yeah..and I won't be ashamed to own the game once I can get it for $20)



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5 comments | showing # 1 to 5
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mr spooky's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/16/2009 12:49
mr spooky
District 9 Rules
mcbennet's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/16/2009 12:57
mcbennet
yeah that was another option but i had to see GI Joe first, haha
Tubatic's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/16/2009 13:51
Tubatic
When it comes to movies about cartoons and games, I'm pretty OK with relationshisp being broken and pieced back together. It made things make a little more sense in the long run (Like Baroness's lack of accent and why, in the inevitable sequel, Cobra would be so focused on the Joes and vice verse). I'm pretty convinced that any movie that keeps all its connections and lore in place from its source would both alienate new viewers and fall way more flat than all but the most hardcore of fanboys would be willing to admit.

All told, that movie was a blast and was WAY more fitting to its source material than the Transformers movies
Drachula64's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/16/2009 14:12
Drachula64
I found it stupid yet entertaining, which is what it was supposed to be. It never took itself too seriously; a good popcorn movie.

District 9, however, was a masterpiece. Living proof that intelligent sci-fi still exists (Star Trek was great too, but not as smart).
JLanphear's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/16/2009 17:43
JLanphear
I thought G.I. Joe was a terrible movie, but somehow after it was over, I felt like watching it again. As far as popcorn movies go it was first-class with incredible action scenes, just really bad acting throughout, with the occasional crap CG thrown in for good measure.
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