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9:27 PM on 05.28.2008

Metal Gear Solid LCD: Handheld of Freedom

It's T minus 2 weeks until Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots is released. Get nostalgic by witnessing how far the series has evolved since the days of...*ahem*...this.


This video is footage of the Tiger handheld electronic LCD game Snake's Revenge released in 1990 shortly after the NES version by the same name. The quality makes it very hard to see what is actually going on, but the audio is entertaining in itself.

Believe it or not, this craptastic LCD version has a story. In this alternate timeline of the MGS series, the infamous Colonel Vernon CaTaffy, a crazed terrorist with delicious sugary candy for a last name, gives the secrets for "Metal Gear II" to Higharolla Kockamamie, leader of Fortress Fanatic.

Yes, that's right. Higharolla Kockamamie.



4:01 PM on 05.09.2008

What Would Destructoid Be Without the Shenanigans?

...and/or the buttsecks.   read

3:45 PM on 04.14.2008

Bitches Don't Know 'Bout My Cheap Dtoid Shirt

Bitches Don't Know 'Bout My Diabeetus Neither

Ok, so maybe you do know 'bout it...

...since you might have ordered one for HOSHIT ONE DOLLAR thanks to the illustrious Topher.

Just got it in the mail this morning an I just wanted to say it is teh secks. I shall wear it with pride and be eager to answer everybody I meet about what the hell deeeestructoid dot com is.

Now I can be in the Kool Kids Klub.   read

4:20 PM on 04.11.2008

Why I'm Back and Why I Shall STFUAJPG

After months of depriving myself of the luxuries of the internet, I've returned to reading Destructoid, shenanigans and, most importantly, gaming. To give you all the Cliff's Notes version on why, I pretty much almost flunked out of college due to my avid interest in all things gaming. Thus, I essentially rehabilitated myself by avoiding gaming all together.

Until now...

...and so I shall reward my ongoing mediocrity by doing the following:


Damn, it's good to be back.


P.S. See you all on FNF.   read

12:29 PM on 10.17.2007

Repost: Dtoid Meet-Up @ Video Games Live on 10/28 in Columbia, MO

So you might've noticed all the dates an locations on the front page for Video Games Live here a while back. My question is: who will be attending the October 28th show at the University of Missouri in Columbia, Missouri?

I'll be purchasing tickets later this week and I was wondering if anybody from Destructoid would like to meet-up. Tickets are only $35 for premiere, ground floor, central seating (next best to front row). Seats also go as low as $17.

We'll be meeting up for pre-show festivities that are set-up (cosplay contests, VG stations, etc.) right outside of Jesse Auditorium at 5:30 pm. The show starts at 7:00 pm.

If you are indeed attending, post your comment here and I'll contact you to meet-up. You can purchase tickets here.

I do live in the area, so we can do something afterwards if you'll be around. I think we'll have some late dinner downtown following the show if you care to join us. Post-show events are sort of fly-by-night, whatever anybody wants to do. Nothing is concrete unless we have more Dtoid members join up for this show.

I've gotten word that Workman has been talking with the host, his holiness Tommy Tallarico, but mum's the word. However, I can tell you that the pants tighten over what he has in store for Destructoid, so come to this show! Don't you love freedom, you pinko commie? If so, make sure you join us!

So far, the Toids that have confirmed attending:

TheGoldenDonut   read

8:00 PM on 10.16.2007

Dtoid Meet-Up @ Video Games Live on 10/28?

So you might've noticed all the dates an locations on the front page for Video Games Live here a while back. My question is: who will be attending the October 28th show at the University of Missouri in Columbia, Missouri? I'll be purchasing tickets later this week and I was wondering if anybody from Destructoid would like to meet-up. Tickets are only $35 for ground floor, central seating (next best to front row). If you are indeed attending, post your comment here and I'll contact you to meet-up and purchase tickets. I do live in the area, so we can do something afterwards if you'll be around (eat, play VGs, get shitfaced, the normal weekend gambit).

So far, the Toids that have confirmed attending:

TheGoldenDonut   read

5:51 PM on 10.11.2007

A Meeting of Masters: Masterledz and Master Chief hang out. For cereal.

It's true! Now you too can chill with the one and only Master Chief himself! Just follow these 5 simple steps!

1) Take a lame ass picture of yourself at your pad.
2) Google "Halo 3 Master Chief" or some BS image.
3) Photoshoop da whoop yourself next to said Master Chief.
4) Rinse and repeat. Or not.
5) Rejoice.   read

11:53 PM on 10.10.2007

New Video is New: "How To Kill A Brand" PS3 Music Video

Sarcastic Gamer has posted "How to kill a brand", sung and written by Doc Adams. The song is sung to the tune of "How to save a life" by Fray. Faith posted this previously on the front page, but now the music is actually accompanied by an actual music video and not a slideshow. Enjoy.

[embed]48604:3217[/embed]   read

3:33 PM on 10.10.2007

Top 10 Hottest Girl Gamers; "FINISH THE FAP" (56K=Go wank off somewhere else)

While bowsing the interwebs, I came upon this list dated back from December of last year of the Top 10 Hottest Girl Gamers (who are actually gamers). I thought I'd spare you the time of actually clicking on the link for you horny readers, so without further ado, here they are, copypasta'd for your pleasure.



As if the internet doesn't have enough top 10 lists, here we are with one more to throw in the mix - the top 10 hottest girl gamers. No, seriously. All the girls on this list actually play video games ... we promise.

First off, allow us to apologize to all the G4 girls who didn't make the list (Morgan Webb, Olivia Munn, Kirsten Holt, etc). As you can see, this is a list for girls who really play games, not TV hosts trying to boost their fledgling acting/modeling career while pretending to be gamers.

So after that introduction, and with no further ado, we present you with the "Game Lemons Top Ten Hottest Girl Gamers Who Are Actually Gamers" list.
(10) Kirsten Kearney - Freelance Computer & Video Game Journalist
Journalist by day, gamer by ... day. Kirsten Kearney has been a Journalist for 10 years. After 5 years at the BBC she left and became a self-employed freelance specialist journalist in computer and videogaming.
(9) Zoe Flower - Game Designer, SlantSix Games
Flower is well-known for co-hosting Electric Playground, her column in Official US PlayStation Magazine, and most recently Yahoo's videogame web-show, Reset. In summer 2006, she settled into a new job working as a game designer at SlantSix games in Vancouver Canada. Never heard of SlantSix? Neither had we. We dug around and found out they worked on Syphon Filter: Dark Mirror, for the PSP which actually scored really well with critics.
(8) 'Brookelyn' - Ubisoft Frag Doll
We might have scored Brookelyn higher, but with a name like that, we were afraid she might have a heavy "new yowk" accent - which we just can't support. Accents aside, how come you never see girls like this at your local LAN party?
(7) 'Seppuku' - Ubisoft Frag Doll
What exactly does Seppuku mean anyway? Oh well, who cares ... any girl that lists God of War, World of Warcraft, and Rainbow Six Vegas on her list of favorites is okay by us.
(6) Paulina Bozek - Senior Producer, Sony Games
In August 2004 she was awarded the first ever BAFTA Interactive New Talent Award for her creative and innovative role in the production of Singstar. We'd also like to award her with the prestigious "Producer who looks most like Lieutenant Tasha Yar from Star Trek" award.
(5) 'Calyber' - Ubisoft Frag Doll
Calyber has that "girl next door" appeal. And with Halo 2 and Quake listed amongst her favorite games, we wish she could have grown up next door to us.
(4) 'Jinx' - Ubisoft Frag Doll
We are big fans of Jinx's choice of hair accessories. The Sam Fisher look suits her well, and we believe it's only a matter of time before more girls take notice and start wearing this around.
(3) 'Fraggety Ann' aka 'Boom St1ck' - Clan PMS Founder
Not many girls can add "FPS Gaming Clan Founder" to their resume. This girl is the real deal though. Clan PMS is one of the top female gaming clans, often beating all-male teams. Win or lose, we'd like to play a one on one deathmatch against this girl.
(2) Molly Stanberry - Founder & Host of
Where was this girl on my last raid? We'd venture to say that Molly is every bit as hot as any night elf you'll ever see running around in World of Warcraft. She really loves the game, and it shows in her podcasts. After seeing her, we have hope that all those sexy gnomes (and they are sexy) running around in WoW really are played by actual girls.
(1) Jade Raymond - Producer, Ubisoft
Nobody around here had heard much about Jade until last E3 when she began popping up in interviews and press meetings surrounding Ubisoft's upcoming project - Assassins Creed. At first we almost overlooked her hotness because we were distracted by the jaw-dropping visuals and gameplay. But after regaining our senses, we realized it wasn't only the game that had nice graphics. We give Jade bonus points for also having worked as a game programmer at one point.



Jessica Chobot
The PMS Girls
Scarlett Dawn
Yvonna Lynn
Everground Girls   read

6:19 PM on 10.05.2007

Am I teh only person who wasn't aware Game Fuel came in an aluminum bottle?!

Okay, so I went to a gas station earlier today and picked up that aluminum bottle to your left for $2.60. Game Fuel is like crack, it makes me so freakin hyper, and I don't care what anyone says, it is delicious.

Hell, its not worth that kind of money, but damnit, that is a collectors' dream if I've ever seen one, seeing as how it's not a crappy plastic bottle or little common can.

Has anybody else seen this?   read

2:57 PM on 09.13.2007

RadioToid: Tonight's Show - Kwari, VG Disasters, FASA Fails, Team Fortress Mods & "Stump the Master" Contest w/ BlueWolf72 & Masterledz @ 8pm CST

P.S. Thanks for the promo image, theGAMEGOBLIN

No doubt you're all giddy little school girls anxiously awaiting tonight's show on RadioToid. At least I'd like to think so. It's going to be a little bit longer tonight as people have been complaining that it was too short last time. Anyway, here's what's on tap for tonight's discussion:

1. Kwari has been designed with a singular purpose in mind – to give you the opportunity to translate your shooting skills into some serious cash. Try to get into the beta and we'll discuss it next week.

2. New: Alien vs. Predator Trailer

3. Microsoft Introduces Star-Studded Lineup of Japanese Developers and Blockbuster New Games for Xbox 360.

4. Top Ten Video Game System Disasters.

5. The Fortress Forever Website offers a September 17 release date for this Team Fortress-inspired modification for Half-Life 2, along with some new gameplay movies

6. Castlevania for XBOX 360?

7. Chad on Dtoid: The Great Retro Quiz! .01 – The Virtual Console (NES)

8. Rumor: Christian Bale to Play Solid Snake in Metal Gear Solid Movie?

9. FASA has been shutdown. Crimson Skies, Mech Warrior, Battle Tech and Shadowrun. What will happen to these franchises now?

10. Without a doubt, Wikipedia is one of the most useful and amazing sources of information on the internet—but chances are you aren't using it to its full potential.

11. inCrysis offers an update from Crytek about the Crysis multiplayer beta, clarifying why the first round of testing was not announced, and that when testing is opened up further, no paid subscriptions will be required:

12. Fairlight $28,000 Xynergi Keyboard Makes Optimus Look Cheap

13. The official Playstation blog site has posted up word on a new massive update to the PS3's online Playstation Network.
# Unlimited Racing Action – 16 core racing modes with varying degrees
of difficulty for a total of 32 modes, including an in-depth
single-player tournament and offline multiplayer modes (up to 7 players!).
# Full HD at 1080p – Speed through 10 richly detailed courses.
# SIXAXIS Wireless Controller - Use the controller’s left and right
buttons on the D-pad to steer through traffic, master cornering, and
overtake rival vehicles.
# Global Online Ranking – Play for your personal best in Score Attack
and see how you stack up against other racers worldwide.

Launched in beta form in early August, Valve has now officially launched their community features for all users of their Steam game download service. As previously reported, the new community features allow Steam users to communicate with each other with things like creating personal pages and profiles, creating friends lists, joining groups, chat features, stat features and more.

15. Dtoid Forum Action: Rate the avatar above you!

16. It pays to blog and be part of Dtoid; Snaileb talks about what he has been blessed with since being a true member


18. Shout-outs & Moar
Post here if you'd like one of us to give you a shout-out.   read

3:05 PM on 09.12.2007

RadioToid: Last Chance to Enter "Stump the Master" Contest to Win the Halos

In case you missed it, here's a contest we are running for our RadioToid show tomorrow at 8pm CST to win a copy of Halo 3. We will be accepting entries all the way until midnight tonight.

Also, see that side c-blog profile RadioToid link banner over to the right? Now you can take one home too for your c-blog with 0% interest and no money down! Check out my previous post, RadioToid: New Side C-Blog Banner to Post For Her Pleasure for great justice.

Do you liek Choklat Reinz? Stop by EPIC EXCLUSIVO: Chocolate Rain - RadioToid Remix Makes The Pants Tighten. After all, tehuberone predicted the future that I would make this...

One more thing: We want you to join us on-air! Check out my previous call for backup for more details on how you can join a round-table discussion with us on the radio.

Alright Robots, here's your chance to shine! BlueWolf72 is banking his precious copy of
Halo 3!!!!! for Xbox 360 on my ability to answer the toughest questions you throw at me. Wikipedia states the Master has a brain three times the size of the average Destructoid enthusiast, and you know the internet is a trustworthy series of tubes. In other afraid. Be very afraid. Without further's time for...

So here's how you can play. This contest gives you all the opportunity to ask me trivia questions that you think I cannot answer or can otherwise stump me. During our next Dtoid show on Thurs. at 8:00 pm CST, BlueWolf72 will ask me your questions on-air to see if I can or cannot answer. Hopefully, we will be able to run this contest more than once, but the topic for this week is...

Puzzle Game Genre

In the spirit of intense competition emerging on Super Puzzle Fighter HD on XBLA, the questions you ask in order to stump the Master MUST be related to any game in the puzzle fighting genre. Make sure to e-mail your questions to ask me to BlueWolf72, [email protected] or send them via GoogleTalk, s/n BlueWolf72, your questions to ask me. He will then select 10 to try to stump me and for your chance to win the halos.

Remember, your questions must be straightforward, objective questions. NO SUBJECTIVE, OPINION QUESTIONS WILL BE ACCEPTED FOR THIS CONTEST.
Good examples you could ask me include objective questions that can be answered in one sentence; "How many pints of seminal fluid equals 1 liter?" , "How much was the MSRP of 'Shaq-Fu' game at it's release?"
Bad examples you cannot ask me and will be disqualified from this contest include subjective, opinion, "why" & "how" questions; "How awesome is 'Lair'?", "What's the best/worst strategy for beating 'Barbie's Unicorn Mating'?", "Who is the best/worst character of 'Bombermans Over Baghdad'?"

We will only award 1 Halo 3 copy this show, so if more than one of you stump me, we will run another gambit for you finalists in order for you to win (secondary contest winning selection will be determined later on in the week). Reminder: we need your entries by midnight CST in order to be eligible.

You're all going to have to pry Halo 3 from my cold, dead hands for this contest. Now if I were you, I would post your questions here so I can actually have time to get an answer before the show. Just kidding, don't be a stupid noob; send them to BlueWolf72.

Read the official contest rules below to cover our arses.

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. To be eligible, questions must be completed and received by tomorrow, Thursday, September 13, 2007 at 12:00am CST. Incomplete questions will be disqualified. All questions shall become the property of Dtoid Radio thereafter.
1. The contest is open to registered members of Destructoid only
2. The prize is not redeemable in cash and must be accepted as awarded.
3. Decisions of the contest judges are final - no substitutions will be available.
4. Entries submitted must be related to the given topic of choice (Puzzle Game Genre) for each show.
5. By claiming the prize, the winner authorizes the use, without additional compensation of his or her name and/or likeness and/or voice/photograph and municipality of residence for promotion and/or advertising purposes in any manner and in any medium (including without limitation, radio broadcasts, newspapers and other publications and in television or film releases, slides, videotape, distribution over the internet and picture date storage) which we may deem appropriate.
6. In accepting the prize, the winner, and any guest(s), acknowledges that Destructoid, Dtoid Radio, BlueWolf72 and masterledz may not be held liable for any loss, damages or injury associated with accepting or using this prize(s).
7. Destructoid, Dtoid Radio, BlueWolf72 and masterledz retain the rights, in its absolute and sole discretion, to make substitutions of equivalent kind or approximate value in the event of the unavailability of any prize or component of the prize for any reason whatsoever.
8. Dtoid Radio reserves the right to withdraw or terminate this contest at any time without prior notice.
9. One entry per person.   read

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