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STFUJPG. Or stay to become enlightened by all the Master has to offer.

Are you a nay-sayer of the Master's teachings? An Unbeliever? Blasphemer? Douchebag? Just read these satisfied pupils' unsolicited testimonials...

Do what that person said, he is wise. /\
-Neonie

For the record, nobody.... and I repeat nobody, breaks in noobs to the forums like Masterledz. If he hasn't appeared with his ominous warning, you have to ask yourself if you've really joined Destructoid.
-Gameboi

Truer words were never spoken, Master.
-coonskin05

Masterledz? Internet famous? HA!
-backflip10019

There you have it folks; the Master has spoken.

GTFOJPG
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I woke up from my meager 4 hours of sleep, but this morning was slightly different. I was hit with a reality-sized fifteen pound medicine ball to the metaphorical crotch: I am old.

I'm not as old as "old people," but I am older than others. I remember when I was electro lemon's age and I would see college-age students and think to myself, "What a wonderful world...er, I mean...wow, those are grown-ups."

But what is a "grown-up? A guy in a suburbia who offers you free candy? That's what I thought when I was eight years old. I thought to myself, "Someday, I'm going to look sweet in a suit, be rich and famous and everything will be the dandy."

But look at your Master now, almost halfway through college, and I really want to do is "kid crap." I don't care how old you are; farts are hilarious, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches kick ass and cartoons are still my inspiration.

I don't get anything worthwhile in the mail these days, but sometimes I ask; who the hell is going to give me cookies in a package?! Why do I feel like I'm missing out on something?! Where's the beef?!

My mind drifts off occasionally as I think about the people I've met throughout the years and all the things I've ultimately screwed up. But I laugh; it's worth a good roflmao.

My point is, maybe there's something everyone, no matter whether he or she looks really sweet in a suit, is supposed to find in his or life. A purpose, if you will. As far as finding my own calling, I guess the problem might be that I'm looking to hard.

Nobody can be entirely sure of what is right or wrong these days. I sure as hell don't know. I just lied and registered myself as a recovering alcoholic at the campus hospital merely so I could get a convenient space in their parking garage. Does that make me a douchebag? Probably. I guess it's pretty wide and clear - I am a douchebag.

What it all boils down to is that I might never be able to do the right thing or find my calling. I just want to have fun along the way. No matter how ridiculous this sounds, I still have a 1991 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pillowcase on my bed. When that one is in the wash, I put on my Might Morphin' Power Rangers pillowcase. It's all good and I don't give a steaming shit about what anybody has to say about that, it still makes me damn happy and proud.

So here's the grand finale; Life could be all about being happy. Or it could be all about making other people happy. To me, the Destructoid Community is a perfect balance of these two purposes. We all enjoy it for ourselves and we enjoy each others' company. We are all united under that one love: Gaming. This is life and it makes me (and perhaps the majority of you) happy.

Or maybe, just maybe, I'll figure it all out after I look really sweet in a suit.

Also, cocks.
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