STFUJPG. Or stay to become enlightened by all the Master has to offer.

Are you a nay-sayer of the Master's teachings? An Unbeliever? Blasphemer? Douchebag? Just read these satisfied pupils' unsolicited testimonials...

Do what that person said, he is wise. /\

For the record, nobody.... and I repeat nobody, breaks in noobs to the forums like Masterledz. If he hasn't appeared with his ominous warning, you have to ask yourself if you've really joined Destructoid.

Truer words were never spoken, Master.

Masterledz? Internet famous? HA!

There you have it folks; the Master has spoken.

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I woke up from my meager 4 hours of sleep, but this morning was slightly different. I was hit with a reality-sized fifteen pound medicine ball to the metaphorical crotch: I am old.

I'm not as old as "old people," but I am older than others. I remember when I was electro lemon's age and I would see college-age students and think to myself, "What a wonderful, I, those are grown-ups."

But what is a "grown-up? A guy in a suburbia who offers you free candy? That's what I thought when I was eight years old. I thought to myself, "Someday, I'm going to look sweet in a suit, be rich and famous and everything will be the dandy."

But look at your Master now, almost halfway through college, and I really want to do is "kid crap." I don't care how old you are; farts are hilarious, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches kick ass and cartoons are still my inspiration.

I don't get anything worthwhile in the mail these days, but sometimes I ask; who the hell is going to give me cookies in a package?! Why do I feel like I'm missing out on something?! Where's the beef?!

My mind drifts off occasionally as I think about the people I've met throughout the years and all the things I've ultimately screwed up. But I laugh; it's worth a good roflmao.

My point is, maybe there's something everyone, no matter whether he or she looks really sweet in a suit, is supposed to find in his or life. A purpose, if you will. As far as finding my own calling, I guess the problem might be that I'm looking to hard.

Nobody can be entirely sure of what is right or wrong these days. I sure as hell don't know. I just lied and registered myself as a recovering alcoholic at the campus hospital merely so I could get a convenient space in their parking garage. Does that make me a douchebag? Probably. I guess it's pretty wide and clear - I am a douchebag.

What it all boils down to is that I might never be able to do the right thing or find my calling. I just want to have fun along the way. No matter how ridiculous this sounds, I still have a 1991 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pillowcase on my bed. When that one is in the wash, I put on my Might Morphin' Power Rangers pillowcase. It's all good and I don't give a steaming shit about what anybody has to say about that, it still makes me damn happy and proud.

So here's the grand finale; Life could be all about being happy. Or it could be all about making other people happy. To me, the Destructoid Community is a perfect balance of these two purposes. We all enjoy it for ourselves and we enjoy each others' company. We are all united under that one love: Gaming. This is life and it makes me (and perhaps the majority of you) happy.

Or maybe, just maybe, I'll figure it all out after I look really sweet in a suit.

Also, cocks.

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