STFUJPG. Or stay to become enlightened by all the Master has to offer.

Are you a nay-sayer of the Master's teachings? An Unbeliever? Blasphemer? Douchebag? Just read these satisfied pupils' unsolicited testimonials...

Do what that person said, he is wise. /\

For the record, nobody.... and I repeat nobody, breaks in noobs to the forums like Masterledz. If he hasn't appeared with his ominous warning, you have to ask yourself if you've really joined Destructoid.

Truer words were never spoken, Master.

Masterledz? Internet famous? HA!

There you have it folks; the Master has spoken.

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On this day in history, our friends from across the pond burned the White House down, forever damning themselves to lives of substandard dental care.

In other far more important news, it is the date of my hatching.

I turned 20, oh so close to the mature, delinquent age of 21. It's like dry humping Jessica Alba. Almost there, but not quite.

So, in celebration, I am running a contest all in the name of Destuctoid winnage. The prize pig includes:

1x PS3 Nyko Blu Wave DVD Remote
5x Dtoid Stickers
1x Dtoid Iron-On Patches
>9000x Power Level

Here's what you have to do to win. The following is my original forum intro posted on Feb. 9, 2007 with missing, key information. Fill in the blanks with whatever lulz come to mind.

Hey, name's ______. I'm originally from ______ but I now ______ in ______. I'm ______ the ______ and ______ in ______. I am currently playing ______ and assorted ______ (mostly ______ and ______). Some of my favorite ______ are ______, ______, ______, ______ and ______. Alright, done being a ______ for now.

The most epic entry posted in this blog's comments will win the fruits of my loins. The contest ends Friday at 12 p.m. EST. The winner will be contacted via PM regarding their mailing address, time of shipping, pancake preference and personal banking information. Sorry you crazy foreigners, this contest is open to U.S. and Canadian mounties only.

Don't suck.

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