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STFUJPG. Or stay to become enlightened by all the Master has to offer.

Are you a nay-sayer of the Master's teachings? An Unbeliever? Blasphemer? Douchebag? Just read these satisfied pupils' unsolicited testimonials...

Do what that person said, he is wise. /\

For the record, nobody.... and I repeat nobody, breaks in noobs to the forums like Masterledz. If he hasn't appeared with his ominous warning, you have to ask yourself if you've really joined Destructoid.

Truer words were never spoken, Master.

Masterledz? Internet famous? HA!

There you have it folks; the Master has spoken.

Following (26)  

Let me preface this post by saying this does not involve Mr. Mays, the "full-volume pitchman, amped up like a candidate for a tranquilizer-gun takedown." But he's still here. In my heart.

What I ask from the Destructoid community is to help me with a certain story I'm currently writing as a radio reporter.

I work as a broadcast journalism student at an NPR affiliate. The story involves a professor at the University of Missouri who is developing a video game focusing on what happens in the brain and body when somebody uses drugs. He worked as a freelance computer program while studying clinical psychology. He's planning on testing his software on St. Louis elementary school children in an effort to educate youth on drug prevention. The news release link is linky.

Riveting, I know, especially since NPR's 85+ audience is literally chomping at the bit at this lead. AARP members rejoice.

I'm looking for some key questions to ask him by getting a gamers' perspective on the topic. Personally, I feel gamers are left with a sour taste in their mouths after the overall negative attitude by the media, linking video games to delinquency. It's something I'm passionate to clear up.

So please, lend me your questions. Do it for your country and/or Bill Mays here. Thanks for your help.

Last week, Microsoft was looking to accommodate those who didn't have at least 128 MB free of storage on their 360s for the upcoming New Xbox Experience.

Starting today, Microsoft offers a solution through the Xbox 360 Memory Upgrade Program. A "Big Brother" service will scan your 360's serial number and console ID to ensure you don't have 128 MB free that is required for the upgrade. If you qualify, it will then forward you to a page that will give you one of two different offers:

A free 512 MB Memory Card or a refurbished 20 GB Hard Drive for $19.99.

According to NeoGaf, these offers only apply to owners of 360 Arcade or Core consoles only. Microsoft asks you to log on to Xbox Live and for your serial and console ID to make sure the 360 is a legit Arcade or Core unit. Then, they scan your hard drive to make sure you haven't attached a hard drive to it with plenty of space.

Pretty crafty to minimize their losses, but then again, I think Microsoft maximizes their profit margins by charging more than $100 for a 20GB Hard Drive in the first place.

What do you think? Are you feeling like...*ahem*...downloading demos tonight on your 360?

Can't wait to hear back from them.

Gamasutra reports that Microsoft and Rock the Vote, a youth voting awareness group, distributed about 55,000 U.S. voter registration forms through Xbox Live.

Moreover, according to an XBL opinion poll of about 100,000 users, 43 percent of voters said they would vote for Obama and Biden, compared to 31 percent for McCain and Palin. The other 26 percent voted on behalf of Mike Haggar for President.

Free gamer pics of the parties' campaign logos were available for download as well. I don't know about you, but I saw many gamers swap their gamer pics during this past month to pledge allegiance to their presidential preferences.

Although it wasn't required to download a registration form to download a gamer pic, it's certainly refreshing to see the youth vote finally garnering some attention.

Hey, it's certainly more interesting than Nintendo's thought-provoking questions on the Everybody Votes Channel. I can't wait to hear which America prefers: carpal tunnel syndrome or midget amputee porn?

On this day in history, our friends from across the pond burned the White House down, forever damning themselves to lives of substandard dental care.

In other far more important news, it is the date of my hatching.

I turned 20, oh so close to the mature, delinquent age of 21. It's like dry humping Jessica Alba. Almost there, but not quite.

So, in celebration, I am running a contest all in the name of Destuctoid winnage. The prize pig includes:

1x PS3 Nyko Blu Wave DVD Remote
5x Dtoid Stickers
1x Dtoid Iron-On Patches
>9000x Power Level

Here's what you have to do to win. The following is my original forum intro posted on Feb. 9, 2007 with missing, key information. Fill in the blanks with whatever lulz come to mind.

Hey, name's ______. I'm originally from ______ but I now ______ in ______. I'm ______ the ______ and ______ in ______. I am currently playing ______ and assorted ______ (mostly ______ and ______). Some of my favorite ______ are ______, ______, ______, ______ and ______. Alright, done being a ______ for now.

The most epic entry posted in this blog's comments will win the fruits of my loins. The contest ends Friday at 12 p.m. EST. The winner will be contacted via PM regarding their mailing address, time of shipping, pancake preference and personal banking information. Sorry you crazy foreigners, this contest is open to U.S. and Canadian mounties only.

Don't suck.