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mass effect makes children cry
lumberjackrock | 12:36 PM on 03.14.2008 16 comments


So, I was talking with my buddy about games. We both have been gamers for quite some
time, though he's a PC gamer and wastes his life on WoW. Anyways, he has a 6 year old
son, who for some reason is allowed to play Mass Effect. I have my issues with this, but it's
not my child so I'm not going to correct him.
Which leads to this hilarious moment.
If you've played Mass Effect, when you first meet Urdnot Wrex, you have the option to blow
his ass to pieces because you, being Commander (first name) Sheppard, are Bad Ass Level
9000 at all times. You are basically God incarnate, with the ability to say who lives and who
dies, including whole races of alien life.
So the kid (Damien) doesn't pay much attention to dialogue, which is good, because now he
won't get all butt secksed up while playing.
And he's just clicking the first dialogue option that's available.
And he kills Wrex.
Normally, this would just be Sheppard being all bad ass and killing a dude known for killing
dudes from a race of aliens known for existing to kill dudes, cause that's what Sheppard
does.

But no. Damien, as he has apparently decided to grow attached to these particular
characters very swiftly, begins to cry.
uncontrollably. inconsolably. unceasing.
Seriously, 6 year old has not only been granted the chance to play a mature rated game,
but as he kills a dude, cries over it being his 'friend'.
And his dad laughed. And I laughed.
And my 4 year old watches her mom and I play Psychonauts for fun. Who knew?

Morale:
Krogan warriors are friends to the young. Don't kill them prematurely.
Unless you're a Bad Ass, capitalized.



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16 comments | showing # 1 to 16

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Spykron's Destructoid Blog
heh well. its rated M for a reason. that kids world has been shattered and ESRB was only trying to help!
big filth's Destructoid Blog
maybe his dad should take the controller away and give him some cigarettes and alcohol instead??
JavTheGreat's Destructoid Blog
My own world was shattered when I couldn't save Wrex's race :(
Soulhammer's Destructoid Blog
[img]http://www.terminally-incoherent.com/img/facepalm.jpeg[/img}
GeneralWong's Destructoid Blog
Its hard to kill a Krogan! I have my doubts that a human could kill any of the races of aliens in Mass Effect let alone a Krogan.

I didn't kill him thought cos his fucking bad ass!! Kids these days, shoot first and cry later.. such a shame.
Soulhammer's Destructoid Blog
ugh I fail at picture posting.... last try


GeneralWong's Destructoid Blog
Its hard to kill a Krogan! I have my doubts that a human could kill any of the races of aliens in Mass Effect let alone a Krogan.

I didn't kill him thought cos his fucking bad ass!! Kids these days, shoot first and cry later.. such a shame.
Lavallee017's Destructoid Blog
FOX News Headline:

Mass Effect is a murder simulator. Forces child to kill BFF.


In all seriousness though this is pretty funny, maybe he should have read the dialog.
GeneralWong's Destructoid Blog
Apologies for the double post, apparently this sites turning into a fail ridden pile of shit every time i try and post a comment.
king3vbo's Destructoid Blog
That was wicked funny
Aziel13's Destructoid Blog
kill
kill
KILL!
*blink, smile, blink*
GuitarAtomik's Destructoid Blog
Though I find it a little troubling that your friend is letting his 6 yr old play an M rated game (though Mass Effect isn't all that much worse than Star Wars), I can't help but be amazed that a 6 yr old got that far in ME.

Then again, my cousin was pretty competent at Halo by that age so......
sevink's Destructoid Blog
lol nice, enjoyed your post. I can't wait to have kids.....they are gonna have to defeat me in video games to get things....it's gonna be great
Eschatos's Destructoid Blog
I kinda doubt he should be playing that.
ArrestedDeveloper's Destructoid Blog
Is it just me or does Wrex go down a little to easy? Whenever you fight a Krogan Battlemaster you really have to be on your game but Wrex goes down in one shot. Just doesn't seem to add up.
lumberjackrock's Destructoid Blog
Yeah, I have issues with the guy letting his kid play as well, but I can't make him parent MY way cause I'm not FOX.
@big filth - that's just callous. only when he's 13 would that be acceptable. then his friends can think he has the cool dad.
@arrested - noted. maybe Wrex let's his guard down around dudes in bars, kind of like sorority girls on college night. just maybe.


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 about me

I'm a long-time gamer from VA. I have 2 young daughters and holler in a rock and roll band.I play 360 almost exclusively now because of a lack of good PC and no desire to play the PS3 yet. I'm also working on my Communication Studies degree with a history minor. And bears.

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