Pardon me, I mean THPG. Yes the lastest installment of the ever-aging skateboard franchise has me less than excited, to say the least. Personally, I think they jumped the shark with Underground.

Tony Hawk's Proving Ground will be coming out for all the major consoles as well as the DS early October, and the synopsis sounds the same as the last few: "Do you have what it takes to make it to the top?"

For the last time; yeah, I do.

Albeit, I don't know what other kind of story path you would follow in a sports game other than the classic underdog story. American Wasteland gave it a little bit of a go with slightly more character development than the others, but that really fit in with the cartoony aspects of the rest of the game. The more recent ones have all tried for the hardcore "make it or break it" aspect, leading you down the same narrow, paved walkway from skate rat to international pro who miraculously airs 35x10^4 feet over the Washington monument before kicking it with T-Hawk and his bros. Jesus Christ.



Now I've never been a guy to tear into a game because of graphics. Especially not in this day and age because let's face it, they all look pretty damn good. But that still tends to be THPG main issue; we've seen it all before. The camera angles, the locales, and if you're familiar with the industy, all the main characters. Breaking news! They even dug up that prick Eric from Underground! Or at least a doppelganger antagonist like him.

To their credit, they did add a couple of new "nail the tricks," this time applying to the grabs and manuals, which might be kind of fun to mess around with, but probably have quite a learning curve.

I don't know if I'm just asking for too much, but Activision's just treating us like that 5/10 girl you pity fuck every now and again. You know you can give her more, but as long as you get your rocks off, who cares?

Will I play it? Yes. Will I like it? Probably not.

I've never been known to have a lot of patience, and I've never been very good at Gears of War. And this has never been known to be a good combination. War is hell...for my headsets that is, as they are usually the victims of my Mountain Dew-fueled mayhem. Turned a corner only to get gibbed by a shotgun? Headset into the wall. Lost that Annex match by one point? Headset. Wall. Now. Shit-talking high school student? Poor thing never had a chance.

You really wouldn't think it would be that bad. The old style headsets really didn't have enough weight to be smashed, but I'd be pulling cords left and right. And more recently I'd gotten a wireless headset. Lasted longer than I thought it would, but it's hard plastic finally yielded to a doorknob. I never really liked the wireless ones anyway.

My roommate is beginning to stress as well. Coming home to find me curled up in the fetal position with the shattered remains of both our headsets littering the far wall was an awkward scene for him. He can never grasp what would make me snap and start trashing gaming equipment. He just doesn't understand how much stress those pre-teen on my team put me under.

One day I'll find a way to keep those darn things from breaking. Or get some anger management. Whatever.

On a totally unrelated note, you can add yourself as a friend! Is this awesome? NO! It's just lonley and creepy.