I used to think most of you were pretty cool. I was totally wrong.

It takes one click to wipe out the spam you guys and 4chan try to make. Grow the fuck up.

My piece of shit laptop has been broken since December 4th, but it looks like it's finally fixed! I'll sure as fuck never buy a goddamn Toshiba product ever again though.

so yeah, what's been happening around here? anything really epic I need to hear about?

old? I dunno, but this made me fucking LOL hard.

(I'd post this in the forums but no one goes there anymore.. :( )

"Spoilers" are completely made up and I seriously doubt any of them are true, but if any of them are and it ruins the game for you, don't blame me..........................

[15:40] lawl: One cutscene involves Master Chief being tortured by grunts, his helmet is taken off and we finally see his face.
[15:41] Brendon: I swear
[15:41] Brendon: If that is even 1% true
[15:41] Brendon: I will come to your housr
[15:41] Brendon: e
[15:41] lawl: i just beat the game
[15:41] Brendon: Rape your mother
[15:41] Brendon: Kill your sister
[15:42] Brendon: And slice your throat
[15:42] lawl: its true lol
[15:42] Brendon: Then steal your 360 and Halo 3 copy
[15:42] Brendon: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU TELL ME THAT YOU FUCKING DOUCHEBAG
[15:43] lawl: because :p
[15:43] Brendon: GOD
[15:43] Brendon: FUCKING
[15:43] Brendon: DAMNIT
[15:43] Brendon: YOU
[15:43] Brendon: ASSHOLE
[15:43] Brendon: Somehow I don't believe that MC would be tortured by grunts for fuck sake..
[15:44] lawl: He gets captured during the jungle level
[15:44] lawl: runs out of ammo
[15:44] Brendon: I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT
[15:44] Brendon: SHUT THE FUCK UP
[15:44] lawl: also, cortana has a virus
[15:44] Brendon: URGHHTGRFGRBgjfrhf
[15:44] Brendon: I'm blocking you
[15:44] lawl: hahahahaa dude i'm just fucking with you
[15:44] Brendon: ....
[15:44] lawl: i wont even have the game till tommorow
[15:44] Brendon: You're lucky I hit cancel
[15:44] lawl: lol
[15:45] lawl: getting a legendary in the morning :)
[15:45] Brendon: I have to wait for 5pm :(
[15:45] lawl: lam
[15:45] lawl: e
[15:49] Brendon: You're an ass XD
[15:49] lawl: what
[15:51] Brendon: Question
[15:51] Brendon: Have you seen the ending
[15:51] lawl: i beat the game
[15:51] lawl: lol
[15:51] Brendon: YOU DON'T HAVE THE GAME
[15:51] lawl: yes i do lol
[15:51] Brendon: ...Does the game end with Cortana/MC and a bomb
[15:51] Brendon: and earth going kaboom
[15:51] lawl: yup
[15:52] Brendon: .....................................................
[15:52] lawl: right before it happens cortana tells MC how she loves him, it was fucking weird
[15:52] Brendon: ....I am never talking to anyone ever again
[15:52] Brendon: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
[15:52] Brendon: I DON'T WANT TO KNOW GOD DAMNIT
[15:52] Brendon: NOW I'M REALLY BLOCKING YOU
[15:52] lawl: no come on
[15:52] lawl: i wont ruin anything else
[15:53] Brendon: JESUS CHRIST YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE
[15:53] lawl: except that there are 9 more halos and miranda keyes dies
[15:53] *** "Brendon" signed off at Mon Sep 24 15:53:20 2007.

Let me preface this by saying that I have the weirdest, most outrageous fucking sex dreams ever on a somewhat daily basis, but the one I'm about to tell you guys about was just so strange to me, that I felt it needed to be exposed to the world, or at least just D-Toid. Now I suppose I'll get started.

Note: Not all of this is totally clear to me, so essentially I'll be filling in the blank parts with what I think would of happened.

It all began in a place that was quite similar to that dirt road that you see above. I was slowly walking down it, not really knowing where I was, when a taxi started driving towards me. As it neared closer, I tried to wave it into stopping, when I glimpsed the horror that was behind the steering wheel: a fat, disgusting old woman, who was bleeding out of her eyes and mouth and screaming random gibberish. I stood there in total disbelief while she swerved and all over the road until she finally passed me. After regaining control of my senses, I continued my walk down this now seemingly deserted road, when, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something in the distance, and it wasn't until a few minutes later when I realized what I was looking at: an entire fucking parade (seriously) of zombies, all running down the street singing and cheering in their special gibberish language and dripping blood all over the street. This went on for a while, as what must of been thousands of zombies went past me without a single glance in my direction. But finally, after the occasional zombies that were lagging behind trying to catch up to the rest of the group passed me, I was nearing a fence at the end of the road.

I approached the fence warily, not really sure what could possibly await me after the craziness of what I had just witnessed, but all I found was an extremely gorgeous female standing there, greeting me eagerly as I made my way towards her. She told me her name, and explained that she had just been watching TV with her boyfriend, when suddenly she ended up on this road as the parade of undead poured through the streets with their unbearable singing and their horrifying faces. She went on to say how she thought she was hallucinating when someone who might not be a zombie started walking towards her, and when she saw that I was for sure a regular person, she was ecstatic in knowing that she wasn't alone here.

As I listened to her story, it became clear to me that I too had no idea how the fuck I got here, yet alone what the hell I had been doing before that, but above all I couldn't help but think about how perfect her body was, and the fact that she has a boyfriend (although she didn't elaborate on how steady they were) would keep me from doing nasty things to her asshole. But the boyfriend didn't seem to matter much to her, because we were going at it like jackrabbits just 10 minutes later in an empty old house off behind the fence.



As I thrusted with the force of a rhinoceros, in and out of her perfect tight little vagina, I noticed something changing in the atmosphere of the room we were in, and next thing we knew everything was just..white, and after some time, we were somewhere else. A house with a 3 foot tall ceiling to be exact, and the blow to my head as it hit that ceiling really, really hurt. Whatever was teleporting us must of realized how uncomfortable this place was, and the whiteness took over once again, until a carbon copy of the village from Resident Evil 4 came into view. I was still sexing her at the time, and things got even steamier as she asked me to take her anal virginity.



As I prepared to go in and tear her asshole apart, I found that the job would already be done for me as a Las Plagas parasite pops out of her ass cavity and grabs ahold of my penis, which was near climax. The parasite latched on as hard as it possibly could and ripped it off.

CUT TO BLACK...and I wake up.

Quote: Sega expects Sony's PlayStation 3 will be the ultimate winner in this round of the console battle.

REUTERS INTERVIEW WITH SEGA

When the [sarcasm]epitome of quality in gaming development tells you your system's gonna win, you better fucking believe it.[/sarcasm]