Why Destructoid's Extra Life Marathon Was A Bit Disappointing - Destructoid

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Name: Adam Eliot Kwaselow
Date of Birth: October 2, 1990
Race: Kwyjibo
Favorite Game: Chrono Trigger
First game played: Super Mario World
First game played through: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time
Game played when bored in programming class with no new assignments: Marvel Vs. Capcom
Favorite breakfast cereal: Count Chocula
Fears: Bees, dolls, Samuel L. Jackson
Weaknesses: Knees, cardiovascular system, beautiful women
Pronounced: Kwazlo

Destructoid easily has the most British users out of any site I go to, and technically, I'm 1/4 British. I say technically because, although my grandfather was from Montreal, he became a citizen in 1932, 50 years before Canadian independence.

I'm a proud Michigander, and I appreciate some motherfucking jazz.

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I thoroughly enjoyed what I watched of the Extra Life marathon last night. I watched from about 10:45 AM until about 1:30 AM or so (I am a college student, and this is how I spent my Saturday night. Great fun was had by all. Colgate Bennett wrote me a love letter. Topher, Hamza, Rey, and the almighty Horsehead all gave me girl advice. We got to see CEO cat. We heard Colgate's beautiful singing voice. I started to believe in the god that is Kyle McLaughlin. We were introduced to the greatness that is Super Mic Chan. MEME'S WERE CREATED! But there's still one thing about last night that truly disappoints me: Gabe never took his shirt off.

No matter how much we begged and pleaded, Gabe's shirt just would not come off. Rey's shirt came off multiple times, and for that, Rey, I thank you. But nobody else, especially not Gabe, ever took their shirt off. I had to cry myself to sleep, thinking about how shirtless Bizarro Jim Sterling could have been. But alas, it was not to be. I eventually fell asleep dreaming about playing Super Mic Chan with a wimmenz.

I'm not so disappointed that Colgate Bennett didn't sing "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" to me. That could easily happen at some point in the future. I'm not even upset that they didn't play VISIONS! But I still can't get over Gabe and the shirt that never came off.

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