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About Me
Name: Adam Eliot Kwaselow
Date of Birth: October 2, 1990
Race: Kwyjibo
Favorite Game: Chrono Trigger
First game played: Super Mario World
First game played through: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time
Game played when bored in programming class with no new assignments: Marvel Vs. Capcom
Favorite breakfast cereal: Count Chocula
Fears: Bees, dolls, Samuel L. Jackson
Weaknesses: Knees, cardiovascular system, beautiful women
Pronounced: Kwazlo

Destructoid easily has the most British users out of any site I go to, and technically, I'm 1/4 British. I say technically because, although my grandfather was from Montreal, he became a citizen in 1932, 50 years before Canadian independence.

I'm a proud Michigander, and I appreciate some motherfucking jazz.

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Mascots That Failed. Volume 9
kwaselow | 3:25 PM on 01.12.2008 15 comments


Today's edition of Mascots That Failed is bound to be a bit controversial. It could be argued by some that today's character never actually failed, since he has been in quite a few games, and one of them (a Japanese only release) was as recent as 2005. However, he hasn't been the star of his own game since 1991, and that's enough to constitute failure in my book. Today's Mascot That Failed is none other than...


Captain Commando

Captain Commando was created in the mid-1980's as a mascot for Capcom, appearing in instruction manuals and thanking gamers for buying for buying Capcom games. He didn't actually star in a game of his own until 1991's Captain Commando, an arcade beat 'em up which was ported to the Super Nintendo 4 years later (if you need me to tell you who developed the game, you're retarded). Although the game never saw a sequel, Captain Commando found his way into many of the Capcom crossover games, such as the Marvel Vs. Capcom series and the Japanese only release of Namco X Capcom.

So why did Captain Commando fail? Maybe it's because his arcade game was pretty unpopular. Maybe it's because Capcom became too focused on making as Mega Man spin-offs and Street Fighter II variations as they possibly could. If I had to guess, I'd say it's because his name was the biggest "I see what you did there" in the history of the world (Get it? Captain Commando). If he were to make a comeback, I doubt it would be any good, but it might be worth a shot.

Your thoughts?

Volume 1
Volume 2
Volume 3
Volume 4
Volume 5
Volume 6
Volume 7
Volume 8

Special Edition 1



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13 comments | showing # 1 to 13
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ShadokatRegn's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/12/2008 15:29
ShadokatRegn
I concur.

Even his name is loaded with fail.
Jordan Devore's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/12/2008 15:31
Jordan Devore
Captain Commando wasn't even the coolest character in his own game. I always liked the mummy more.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/12/2008 15:34
MrSadistic
I always confused him with Bionic Commando.
Thornnn's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/12/2008 15:36
Thornnn
Utter failure failed utterly, I agree with your hypothesis in this matter my good man.
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/12/2008 15:51
Jonathan Holmes
YES! You know I love you, Kwaselow, but up until now I could never get behind this feature because the past mascots you used were all successes IMO.

But this guy? TOTAL FAILURE! The fact that he was a game mascot before he even had a game is the greatest fail in game mascot history. And then when his game finally came out, he looked totally different in it than he had for years prior in the NES instruction books. And all with absolutely no explanation.

But the game ruled. That baby in the robot kicked ass.
Rider Chop's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/12/2008 16:39
Rider Chop
aw man, captain commando is da bomb!
so much hate for captain commando? why? is it because his sunglasses are fused to his face?

CAPTAIN CORRIDOR!!
Eschatos's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/12/2008 17:06
Eschatos
I'm pretty sure that's about as far from being a commando as it's possible to get.
Jonathan Kerr's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/12/2008 18:17
Jonathan Kerr
Never played his games but he was fun to play in Marvel vs. Capcom 2.
Clockwork's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/13/2008 01:36
Clockwork
His games were pretty good IMO. But I'm with Grim, I never played as him, I always stuck with the other dude.
A New Challenger's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/13/2008 18:05
A New Challenger
His game is free on GameTap right now.

I think he failed because Mega Man steamrolled the fuck over his mascot status.
A New Challenger's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/13/2008 18:06
A New Challenger
Also, aren't Pure & Fur Capcom mascots of some sort? What a worthless assist in MvC.
Fading Star's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/09/2008 19:23
Fading Star
CAPTAIN!
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