Name: Adam Eliot Kwaselow
Date of Birth: October 2, 1990
Race: Kwyjibo
Favorite Game: Chrono Trigger
First game played: Super Mario World
First game played through: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time
Game played when bored in programming class with no new assignments: Marvel Vs. Capcom
Favorite breakfast cereal: Count Chocula
Fears: Bees, dolls, Samuel L. Jackson
Weaknesses: Knees, cardiovascular system, beautiful women
Pronounced: Kwazlo
Destructoid easily has the most British users out of any site I go to, and technically, I'm 1/4 British. I say technically because, although my grandfather was from Montreal, he became a citizen in 1932, 50 years before Canadian independence.
I'm a proud Michigander, and I appreciate some motherfucking jazz.
Up to now, I have earned
2 Dolphin King Badges
2 Gold Retroid Badges
1 Silver Retroid Badge
Video games and masturbation have always gone together. From Custer's Revenge to Xtreme Beach Volleyball to Cho Aniki for some of you guys out there, many gamers have had to deal with the dilemma of having to pause because the game is to hard too control with one hand. But now you, yes YOU, can play video games not just while you're masturbating, but because you're masturbating*. This is all thanks to the guys at SF Media Labs who have invented the Joydick (no, I'm not making this up), a device that turns your penis into an Atari joystick (as if you've never referred to it as a joystick). To quote their write-up "For games requiring the fire button, a separate ring can be worn which converts hand-strokes into button presses," so it seems they're already thinking ahead (or should I say: thinking o' head) to future game possibilities. In case you're curious, the link I posted has a guide to making your own.
*Does not apply to wimmenz
Note to the front page censorship system: This post does not contain lobster milkshakes
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It wasn't the butt, but I'm not sure this is a very pleasing alternative.
Seriously, those things are so pointy, then you shoot them and they break apart and OH MY GOD MY BALLS ARE SO WET
Best regards, Mary, CEO of small business seo and iscsi mpio windows 2008