games  anime  |  toys
This is a Dtoid readers's blog. For staff blogs click here. Confused? read this Create you own!  |   Members: Login now





AIM FUN: a brand new text adventure!
kwaselow | 11:55 AM on 01.26.2009 6 comments


I was talking online with a friend of mine, when he decided to try and fuck with me. However, since he is a friend, and not some random person who finds out about my AIM fun and then tries to IM me so they can have fun with me (it has happened way too many times. If you do this, you will be blocked. DToiders are welcome to IM me, providing they tell me their DToid name and hope that I've heard of them), I decided to play along. Names have been omitted to protect the innocent

kwaselow (12:43:48 PM): use hotsauce

Alec (12:43:54 PM): You can't use that here.

kwaselow (12:44:03 PM): eat baby

Alec (12:44:23 PM): Inventory: no BABY

kwaselow (12:44:29 PM): take BABY

Alec (12:44:35 PM): Baby is in stomach!

kwaselow (12:44:45 PM): GET IN MAH BELLY

Alec (12:44:56 PM): Baby is already in yah belly!

kwaselow (12:45:10 PM): approach WIMMENZ

Alec (12:45:17 PM): WIMMENZ approached.

kwaselow (12:45:21 PM): use ROOFIE

Alec (12:45:30 PM): inventory: WIMMENZ

Alec (12:45:36 PM): also HOT SUACE

kwaselow (12:45:43 PM): take BRASS KNUCKLES

Alec (12:45:55 PM): There are no BRASS KNUCKLES

kwaselow (12:46:02 PM): take KNIFE

Alec (12:46:24 PM): You fumble with the KNIFE, and it falls. Next time you will grab it by the handle.

kwaselow (12:46:33 PM): take KNIFE

Alec (12:46:38 PM): Took KNIFE

kwaselow (12:46:45 PM): use KNIFE on WIMMENZ

Alec (12:46:56 PM): The WIMMENZ appears to be loving it!

Alec (12:47:06 PM): "STOP" she laughs as you butcher her!

kwaselow (12:47:21 PM): take REMAINS OF WIMMENZ

Alec (12:47:26 PM): current status: LADIES MAN

Alec (12:47:42 PM): There are no REMAINS OF WIMMENZ

Alec (12:47:50 PM): You did your job a little too well.

kwaselow (12:48:08 PM): take BLOOD OF WIMMENZ

Alec (12:48:28 PM): The BLOOD OF WIMMENZ slips through your ashy hands. It seems like you will need a container of sorts.

Alec (12:48:34 PM): empty HOT SAUCE?

kwaselow (12:48:38 PM): no

Alec (12:48:41 PM): Good choice.

kwaselow (12:48:51 PM): take SEVERED VAGINA

Alec (12:49:14 PM): I don't know the term "SEVERED VAGINA"

kwaselow (12:49:22 PM): take LUNG OF WIMMENZ

Alec (12:49:31 PM): That is not her lung!

Alec (12:49:37 PM): Try again.

kwaselow (12:49:49 PM): take EMPTY ROOFIE VILE

Alec (12:49:54 PM): took EMPTY ROOFIE VILE

kwaselow (12:50:00 PM): take BLOOD OF WIMMENZ

Alec (12:50:07 PM): took BLOOD OF WIMMENZ

kwaselow (12:50:14 PM): approach ALEC'S DRINK

Alec (12:50:21 PM): approached ALEC'S DRINK

kwaselow (12:50:27 PM): use BLOOD OF WIMMENZ

Alec (12:50:32 PM): used BLOOD OF WIMMENZ

Alec (12:50:39 PM): Things are getting exciting!

kwaselow (12:50:40 PM): watch ALEC use ALEC'S DRINK

Alec (12:50:57 PM): ALEC seems to be enjoying ALEC'S DRINK.

Alec (12:51:06 PM): "This is fantastic! What do you call it?"

Alec (12:51:09 PM): INPUT: ______

kwaselow (12:51:47 PM): input BLOODY MARY LULZ

Alec (12:52:59 PM): "Well, thanks bartender! I'll definitely have to order another BLOODY MARY LULZ next time I'm here!"

Alec (12:53:01 PM): YOU HAVE WON

Alec (12:53:03 PM): CONGRATULATIONS

Alec (12:53:21 PM): THANK YOU FOR PLAYING "BLOODY BARTENDER 2: BLOODY MARY"

kwaselow (12:53:38 PM): input I THOUGHT THIS WAS HALO 4



Is this post awesome? Vote it up!

0


Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

6 comments | showing # 1 to 6

prev next

Half left's Destructoid Blog
LOL. I was in tears by "I THOUGHT THIS WAS HALO 4".

You win all the points sir.
MrSadistic's Destructoid Blog
I hate it when people randomly message me thinking they can freak me out. I'm pretty sure both online and off, no one can have a real conversation with me without it being completely retarded.
Ballistic's Destructoid Blog
That was awesome, I must try this with some of my aim buddies. My favorite part has to be "approach WIMMENZ", "WIMMENZ approached".
Detry's Destructoid Blog
FAP
Fusiontr's Destructoid Blog
So much win and awesome
DJDuffy 's Destructoid Blog
it's funny, but it's no Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy!


prev next


Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

Comments policy

Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?

Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!

 about me

Name: Adam Eliot Kwaselow
Date of Birth: October 2, 1990
Race: Kwyjibo
Favorite Game: Chrono Trigger
First game played: Super Mario World
First game played through: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time
Game played when bored in programming class with no new assignments: Marvel Vs. Capcom
Favorite breakfast cereal: Count Chocula
Fears: Bees, dolls, Samuel L. Jackson
Weaknesses: Knees, cardiovascular system, beautiful women
Pronounced: Kwazlo

Destructoid easily has the most British users out of any site I go to, and technically, I'm 1/4 British. I say technically because, although my grandfather was from Montreal, he became a citizen in 1932, 50 years before Canadian independence.

I'm a proud Michigander, and I appreciate some motherfucking jazz.

Up to now, I have earned
2 Dolphin King Badges
2 Gold Retroid Badges
1 Silver Retroid Badge

I have been on the front page 1 time

Fuck yeah!

 mii friend code:
6667434900524824

 friends' updates
bluemeep's Profile bluemeep
Oh my god, fuck your points. Fuck them right in the ear.
Chad Concelmo's Profile Chad Concelmo
The tragic history of the videogame turkey
Cheeburga's Profile Cheeburga
Actually, I'm fine with my weight, Destructoid.
Coonskin05's Profile Coonskin05
A Not-So-Weird Kid's Top 10: NES Games
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain's Profile Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain
The Development Process of MGS4
Cowzilla3's Profile Cowzilla3
Monday Review: Drag Me to Hell
DynamicSheep's Profile DynamicSheep
Fails at blogging.
Excremento's Profile Excremento
A Weird Kid's Top 10 -- NES Games That You Had To Leave on All-Night To Beat
Hamza CTZ Aziz's Profile Hamza CTZ Aziz
Yoko Ono infects The Beatles: Rock Band
Justin Villasenor's Profile Justin Villasenor
Fan-project brings The Legend of Zelda to the 3rd dimension
kwaselow's Profile kwaselow
Faptoid 1. Why ask for directions when we can just use Google Faps?
MrSadistic's Profile MrSadistic
Hey Destructoid, Happy Thxgiving.
Nick Chester's Profile Nick Chester
This happened: High Voltage trademarks Immortal Warriors
Nyteshade's Profile Nyteshade
Nine Inch Nails Rocking Tampa: A Photoblog
Riser Glen's Profile Riser Glen
Thanks for being my Neighbor, DToid
Samit Sarkar's Profile Samit Sarkar
Longoria confirmed for MLB 2K10 cover, you vote on design
taumpytears's Profile taumpytears
The new best thing ever: The Music Meister
tazarthayoot's Profile tazarthayoot
Top 10 reasons it's Samit's birthday
tehArtist's Profile tehArtist
Mr. Indecisive Finally makes a choice in a permanent Gamer Tag….
Thornnn's Profile Thornnn
Finally pics of the new one and an article that scared the Mt Dew outta me.
Tron Knotts's Profile Tron Knotts
Rumortoid: Play as Shooting Star Mega Man in next Monday's DLC
Wheeliedude's Profile Wheeliedude
East - A game about direction
ZigZagMan's Profile ZigZagMan
So...I kinda won a competition...A Halo Competition


 

 
  get involved

register or login
post a blog
post a forum
enter a contest
contribute a news tip
suggest a feature
be a guest editor
support

new member's guide
login assistance
tech support
report abuse
email our editors
read our dev blog
nuclear crisis?
keep in touch

RSS feed
Twitter
Facebook
Myspace
Flickr
Game nights
Meetup+play online
seriously

about Destructoid
advertising
terms of use
privacy policy
jobs at MM
buy our crap
our network

Tomopop
Japanator
Despingation?




Destructoid is an independently-run publication forged by our love of video games and the gaming community's need of accountable enthusiast press
living the dream since March 16, 2006