This next couple of scenes were a little tricky, and I'll have to really work to fix them up, so feedback on these will be most requested. If you every seen Gladiator, Sleepy Hollow, Lucky Number Slevin, or the Saw movies, they have these flashes, these moments of reflection, like really quick flashbacks. They're called "Quick Flashes" according to The Screenwriter's Bible, but I'm not sure if they're formatted correctly, as the book doesn't exactly explain it in detail. I'll need to purchase a screenplay from those movies and compare/contrast.
Right now, though, if things make sense here, just let me know if you can. Thanks!
A groggy Lombax slowly awakens to find himself in chains. Green eyes look around as the Lombax's location slowly comes into a clear view—refurbished prison quarters. Cozy, with beds, benches, and lockers, but complete with jail bars, massive metal gates, and security cameras.
As his surroundings come into focus, he realizes that Dr. Nefarious, Lawrence and the Thug Leader are standing in the background. They wave at him.
Suddenly, Drek's face comes right into view, up close and personal.
DREK
Hello, Ratchet. I have to admit I expected you three hours ago.
RATCHET
Huh? What? What's going on?
He struggles in his chains.
RATCHET
Where's Clank? Where's my crew?
DREK
My dear Lombax, I think you have more pressing matters to consider than the location of your sorry excuse for friends.
RATCHET
You--!
Ratchet tries to attack Drek but can't. All three villains laugh.
THUG LEADER
Looks like you's stuck between a rock and uh… um… er…
LAWRENCE
A hard place, perhaps?
THUG LEADER
Hard place? Dat don't make no sense. Stupid robot.
DR. NEFARIOUS
What!? You dare speak ill of the robot race! Once I am done here, you squishes will be nothing more than an organic ooze used to lubricate trash compactors!
THUG LEADER
Ya. Sure. Whatever. It's good t' have goals, I suppose.
DR. NEFARIOUS (furious)
Oooooo--!
He snaps in anger, but completely freezes, triggering his head to elicit a soap opera show, where a SOAP OPERA ACTOR and a SOAP OPERA ACTRESS speak their horrid parts.
SOAP OPERA ACTOR
-- to leave you again. But I must! For you see, I have another lover!
SOAP OPERA ACTRESS
But you cannot! For you see, I am that same lover!
LAWRENCE
Oh, dear, you've done gone and riled him up a bit.
Drek and Ratchet just stare at all this.
DREK
Are you done?
LAWRENCE
In one moment, Mister Drek.
Lawrence slaps Dr. Nefarious hard, knocking him out of his trace and putting him back into his rant mode.
DR. NEFARIOUS
--oooooo! Mark my words, you filthy, air breathing waste receptacles, after the day is over—
DREK
Nefarious, I am having a moment here—
DR. NEFARIOUS
-- I swear on the race of my own kind you will be completely and utterly annihilated off the face of the universe! Everyone single one of you!
Drek looses his cool.
DREK
Now listen to me you fake, pathetic pile of gears! You have the audacity to speak on the behalf of robot kind? You were nothing but moronic, failed, living mad scientist who was embarrassingly dispatched by Captain Qwark, of all people! You became a robot by pure dumb idiocy. So if you do not shut up this instant I will make it my personal mission to make sure every robot in the entire universe knows about your embarrassing secret, forcing you to return you that asteroid that I saved your wretched, feeble behind from!
Nefarious is absolutely dumb-stricken silent.
The Thug Leader tries to stifle his laughter.
LAWRENCE
I believe you have just been p-owned, sir.
DR. NEFARIOUS
LAWRENCE!
The robot waiter and blue skin creature just break in hysterics.
DR. NEFARIOUS
I'll just go and prepare everything upstairs. Join me when you stop giggling like fools!
Nefarious storms off in a huff. The Thug Leader and Lawrence follow, still laughing crazily.
Drek rolls his eyes.
DREK
As you can most likely tell, Ratchet, it was me who put this entire plan together.
RATCHET
Plan?
Drek grins. He turns around and faces the Lombax up close.
DREK
You haven't figured it out yet? Tisk, tisk, Ratchet. Maybe you have been out of it recently, cause people are always trying to kill you.
Ratchet looks at Drek closely.
QUICK FLASH - RATCHET REMEMBERING – DAY
-- Ratchet sits in the Gadgetron office during his job interview.
RATCHET
Uh… no. I've been out of it, recently. Cause people are always trying to kill me.
INT. MEGARUMBLE’S UNDERGROUND QUARTERS – DAY
Drek smiles at Ratchet's facial expressions as the Lombax begins to remember.
DREK
I've realized something, Ratchet, while I was in jail.
Drek's face moves in closer.
FLASHBACK – DREK IN PRISON – DAY
Drek is adorned in orange prison clothes. His eyes are glued to the TV screen, watching some sort of game show battle, where Ratchet is shooting and blowing up robot enemies left and right.
DREK (V.O.)
Pondering so long how you could have stopped me. Then Qwark and the Thug Leader. And Nefarious. Entire armies of goons, Blargians, Tyrranoids, and robots. And then, while I watched you during your stint in Dreadzone, it hit me.
Drek's eyes shimmer with a stroke of realization.
INT. MEGARUMBLE’S UNDERGROUND QUARTERS – DAY
Drek glares at Ratchet, right in the eye.
DREK
You're not normal. You're different. I needed to know about you. I needed to understand you.
Ratchet says nothing, but his breathing grows slightly heavier.
FLASHBACK – DREK EXPLORES DREDZONE REMAINS – NIGHT
Drek sits in the back of a limo-ship, staring at the floating remains of what looks to be an outer space stadium. Hovering, destroyed bleachers, seats, food stands, robot parts, ship parts, lights, and other debris fill the vacuous space.
DREK (V.O.)
Clearly you can't just finish off someone like you by throwing a bunch of bullets and explosions at you. No. You would have to be disposed of another way. A businessman must always prepare.
Drek squints carefully as he sees the remains of a complex ship compartment, filled with ruined computer equipment and machines.
DREK (V.O.)
Gleeman Vox had one heck of system going. He was using technology that was beyond the scope of this universe, most of it just plain illegal. But very, very powerful.[/i]
Drek grins.
FLASHBACK – SALVAGING DREADZONE – NIGHT
The area of space is now filled with robots and creatures in space suits, busily organizing and restructuring the debris, using large ships and crane-like aircraft to haul the parts around.
DREK (V.O.)
I put quite a bit of bolts into exploiting Dreadzone capabilities. I hired the Thug-4-Less goons to assist, and even managed to find that worthless Nefarious floating helplessly on a rock.
Dr. Nefarious and Lawrence work on the mechanical panel against a partially destroyed satellite system. Lawrence hands Dr. Nefarious a few tools as the robot scientist fiddles with the wiring.
Nefarious is suddenly shocked by a huge current and freezes again, with a goofy look on his face. The wiring lights up though, and the satellite dish begins to move. Lawrence gives a thumbs up—
-- to Drek, who is inside a nearby ship, a more complex, larger one, complete with a series of consoles and computers all its own. Drek proceeds to fiddle with the controls, the satellite rotating slowly as the signals it receive trigger several different "channels" that flash across the screen.
One channel involves two robots hitting each other. Another has a Blargian walk into a room and trip over an Ottoman. Another channel shows Captain Qwark using a Crotchetizer on himself.
Drek flinches at that one and changes the channel again.
DREK (V.O.)
And then, I found it. The story of the Lombax.
On the screen is a shot of a number of Lombaxes interacting. Drek smiles widely.
INT. MEGARUMBLE’S UNDERGROUND QUARTERS – DAY
Ratchet's jaw drop at Drek.
DREK
Yes, Ratchet. Everything about you. How you work, how you think, how you act. I was generous enough to give you a little taste of itt.
The Lombax's breathing grows heavier.
QUICK FLASHES – RATCHET AND THE LOMBAX MEDIA
-- Ratchet struggles at the controls on his escape pod, trying to receive the signal.
-- Ratchet stares through the windshield of the Discovery at the Lombax video before him.
INT. MEGARUMBLE’S UNDERGROUND QUARTERS – DAY
Ratchet's eyes grow angry with a twinge of pain.
RATCHET
You…
DREK
Yes, Ratchet, me. And it was me who put this plan together. To frame you. To ruin you. To make you into nothing. If I couldn't finish you physically, I'd have to do it mentally.
Drek reaches out and pinches Ratchet's cheek. The Lombax jerks his face away.
QUICK FLASHES – DREK REVEALS THE PLAN'S DETAILS
-- Drek shakes hands with Fizzwidget in a crowded press conference.
DREK (V.O.)
I rebuilt Gadgetron and Megacorp from the ground up. I brought along Nefarious and the Thug Leader as well.
-- Scientists inject the Protopet with something.
DREK (V.O.)
I had the Protopet rewired per my specifications—
-- Ratchet fights off the Protopets on Veldin.
DREK (V.O.)
To attack only you, at the perfect moment.
-- The Lombax sleeps in his bed on Veldin. Outside his house, goons run around and place several cages with Protopets locked inside. Another goon slips into Ratchet's ship and removes the engine.
DREK (V.O.)
All placed while you slept, probably dreaming about your miserable existence at that point.
-- Ratchet and Sasha watch the video of the fake Ratchet planting bombs in the Gadgetron basement.
DREK (V.O.)
Nefarious built the perfect fake Ratchet to frame you, knowing full well—
-- The Lombax turns and run from the accusations on Veldin.
DREK (V.O.)
-- you'd run and fight for yourself, bring everyone down with you.
-- A saddened Ratchet speaks on videotape to the entire Discovery crew.
DREK (V.O.)
Your every move was a predictable as if written by a hack writer. Plus, it helped that I was tracking the Discovery. After all, who do you think sold it to Slim? Indirectly of course.
-- Slim Cognito on Obani speaks with Ratchet.
SLIM COGNITO
You'll be surprised what was left over after the Dreadzone incident.
DREK (V.O.)
He had no idea. Neither did you.
-- Ratchet flies the escape pod through space.
-- He crash-lands on Tebora's desert landscape.
-- He looks at himself in the water's reflection in the oasis.
-- He fights his robot counterpart within the outskirts of the cave.
DREK (V.O.)
Your every move was planned. Tracking Gears, fighting off the Galactic Rangers, running away like some sniveling, guilty wuss – oh, yes, that Lombax footage that you thought would help you, would save you, ended up being your very demise.
Ratchet screams.
INT. MEGARUMBLE’S UNDERGROUND QUARTERS – DAY
The Lombax pulls himself at the chains, furious, hurt, suffering from what he heard. He growls to Drek.
RATCHET
You got me! You happy now? Huh! Finish me then! Why don't you just end it right here, right now!?
Drek responds, perfectly calm.
DREK
Oh, Ratchet, I would love nothing more than to crush you in the palm of my hand. But I have better plans for you. You think it hurts now. Just you wait. I want to see you suffer to the very, very end.
Drek grins sickly, evilly, before he turns around and heads upstairs, leaving the Lombax alone to his thoughts.
An eerie silence fills the room. The only noise is the crackled breathing from Ratchet's mouth.
Suddenly, the platform he's on raises upward life a lift. He looks around in a panic as a set of massive doors open above him. A huge, bright light glares his vision as he's rises into the open air.
CLANK
I am afraid that the Discovery crew has proceeded to Endako without you, Ratchet. I get the sense that they believe you have abandoned them.
RATCHET
What? No! I didn't! I just--!
Ratchet screams loudly in annoyance and pulls at his ears.
RATCHET
I freaking ruined everything! If I just listened to you on Veldin we could have just solved this mess.
CLANK
I do not have the software to compute the logistics of the validity of that statement.
RATCHET
Take my word for it.
Ratchet sits on a rock, head in his hands.
RATCHET
Angela could have gone back home. Sasha wouldn't have to abandon her father. You could have kept your celebrity status, Helga and Al could have lived happily ever after, we could have just avoided Qwark altogether, and Skidd could have… uh… kept medicated.
CLANK
But they did all this for you, Ratchet.
RATCHET
And who am I!? I come in, save a few planets, and then—nothing! I'm no one. Everywhere I go, everything goes wrong, things gets destroyed, galaxies get conquered, people get killed—
CLANK
Surely that is not your fault.
RATCHET
It might as well be!
Ratchet yells out that last line, which silences Clank completely.
RATCHET
There's nothing left for me, Clank. I feel like the last Lombax in the universe.
A soft silence fills the oasis again, the wind blowing through the area. Clank walks up to Ratchet.
CLANK
On the Thug-4-Less prison, when I was operating the bay doors, I saw my mother.
RATCHET
What?
CLANK
Not my mother per se, but the coding that represents her, the master code that my own programming was derived from. It was not the exact code, but a form of it. But it was the code all the same.
Clank looks down, disappointed.
CLANK
I do not know if I will ever find that actual code again. I was created on the robot planet Quartu, but since then Drek, Nefarious, and even the Thug Leader has used the technology for their own needs. She could be anywhere.
RATCHET
The exact code, you mean.
CLANK
Precisely. It is difficult for robots to process emotions, Ratchet, but I do know how you feel.
Ratchet smiles down at Clank, and Clank smiles back up at him. Ratchet jumps off the rock.
RATCHET
We kick butt together, huh?
CLANK
I would think so.
RATCHET
C'mon, we got a ship to repair and a deathcourse to fight.
Clank jumps onto Ratchet's back with a grin.
EXT. PLANET TEBORA – LATER
Ratchet treks back across the empty desert, sporting the canteen filled with water this time.
RATCHET
So, Clank, how'd you find me? I disabled all the tracking devices for the escape pod.
CLANK
I calculated the approximate time when you finished your recording with your average speed of performing mundane tasks, then estimated the approximate speed of the escape pod with its size, and the shortest distance from The Discovery to Endako. I flew out and traced your ships residue signature through space, and recognized the floating debris of your damaged ship, and the gravitational pull of it directed me towards this planet. Here, I followed your footsteps towards the oasis, and, well, the rest is history, I suppose.
RATCHET
Huh. Did that all for me? You're crazy.
CLANK
I am not crazy. I was programmed this way.
RATCHET
Programmed to be crazy.
Clank laughs his signature laugh.
EXT. PLANET TEBORA – LATER
The two inspect the damaged escape pod thoroughly.
RATCHET
Hey, not too bad. Looks like the titanium tail is a bit damaged, some of the fusion engine parts were rattled, and these Blargian hoses were busted.
CLANK (rambling)
How odd, considering I am made of titanium and my processor is powered by fusion parts and Blargian hoses.
Ratchet peeks up over at Clank, right as the robot realizes what he said.
CLANK
Wait, Ratchet, no, I did not mean—
Ratchet just grins.
EXT. ESCAPE POD (THROUGH SPACE) - NIGHT
The escape pod zooms through the pitch-black darkness of space. The damage tail is replaced with a piece of Clank's body.
INT. ESCAPE POD - NIGHT
Clank is only a head sitting on his feet; his torso is gone.
CLANK
This is so embarrassing.
RATCHET
Relax, Clank. It’s not like I can’t put you back together. Besides, I thought robots couldn’t process emotions.
CLANK
It is difficult to do so. It does not mean we cannot. (to himself) I hope no one sees me like this.
RATCHET
Don’t worry. Remember, I disabled this ships tracking device.
Suddenly, the ship’s console television pops on, displaying a one-hundred-plus crowd of various alien creatures and robots, dressed in Clank-outfits all cheering and yelling in excitement. At the front of the pack is the a youthful sprite, the FAN CLUB LEADER, adorned in the most Secret Agent Clank paraphernalia of them all.
FAN CLUB LEADER
Whooooo! Clank! We found you! Your last movie rocked! We at the Secret Agent Clank fan club would like to—
The cheering and speaking dies down as they all notice the body-less Clank.
FAN CLUB LEADER
Uh… what happened to your pecs?
CLANK
I… uh…
RATCHET
We’re filming the next Secret Agent Clank movie!
The crowd cheers!
FAN CLUB LEADER
Sneak peeks rule! But… uh, why are you in it?
Ratchet and Clank stare angrily at the screen.
RATCHET (annoyed)
Oh. No. A meteor shower is approaching.
CLANK (fakely)
Ahhhhhhh.
Ratchet immediately turns the screen off.
EXT. ESCAPE POD – NIGHT
The rockets boost up strongly as it kicks into overdrive.
RATCHET (V.O.)
Geez. How’d they find you, anyway?
CLANK (V.O.)
That fan club has access to things you would not even think to believe.
The ship fires off into the distance.
EXT. PLANET ENDAKO – DAY
A bustling, bright, busy metropolis stretches as far as the eye can see. Huge, towering skyscrapers smother the skyline as planes, ships, and flying vehicles weave in and out and around each one through the aerial traffic.
In the middle of all this is a massive, enclosed stadium. The noise of ecstatic fans is heard from outside the walls, clearly indicating something intensely exciting is taking place within.
Large lines of crowds stand around the standing, trying to get inside. A huge side is stretched across the front: “MegaCorp MegaRumble: If You Can’t Tell Who the Sponsor is, You Should be Disintegrated.”
A few miles from the stadium, in a more desolate part of the city, the escape pod rests with a nests of other ships. Ratchet tightens a screw on Clank’s back within the darkness of an alley.
RATCHET
There you go! Good as new.
CLANK
You even loosened that rusted bolt in my back.
RATCHET
Sure did, buddy. Now, we gotta try and find everyone from the Discovery.
Clank’s antenna on his head pops up a glows a bit. He then turns around.
CLANK
That is odd. The Discovery is releasing a signal in that direction.
RATCHET
How is that odd? Let’s go!
CLANK
The signal is completely unencrypted, Ratchet. Any one with a receiver could easily pick it up.
RATCHET
Hmm. With Al on board, that doesn’t sound right. Something’s either wrong or it’s probably a trap. We gotta be careful.
Clank nods, and hops on Ratchet’s back.
MONTAGE – RACE TO THE DISCOVERY
-- Ratchet ducks in and out of crowds, avoiding cameras plastered on nearby buildings
-- A uniformed robot passes underneath Ratchet as he holds himself up between two walls
-- Ratchet springs from wall to wall as he climbs to the top of an apartment complex
-- The Lombax carefully avoids the site of flying police craft by ducking behind smoke stacks and doorways
EXT. ENDAKO GARBAGE DUMP – LATER
Ratchet and Clank reach the edge of one rooftop and gaze over the massive piles of rubble, scrap metal and trash that are spread over what seems like miles.
RATCHET
Well, it seems like a good hiding place.
CLANK
Indeed. Let us keep moving.
The Lombax leaps onto a lamp post and flip-jumps over the fence, landing into the dump with ease. He stays low and stealthily runs from one pile to the next. Clank points and guides Ratchet where to go.
Soon, they reach a set of massive sized trash piles. Between them, indeed, sits the Discovery.
Ratchet pulls out the Hypershot. He anchors it to the tail of the ship and pulls himself and Clank onto the roof. He silently crawls along the top, looking around to make sure he’s in the clear.
They reach the main windshield of the cockpit. Ratchet peeks over the side and looks inside—and gasps.
On one of the large screens within the Discovery displays what seems to be a group of Lombaxes talking. It cuts to more footage of them doing chores, interacting with other species, and fighting some sort of battle.
Clank, perched high on Ratchet’s back, cannot see.
CLANK
What is it? What do you see?
Ratchet doesn’t answer. He in fact turns himself right side up and slides down the front of the ship, which inadvertently knocks Clank off his back.
CLANK
Ratchet! Wait!
The little robot falls to the ground as Ratchet hustles towards the ship’s main doors—which are wide open.
Clank reaches out to Ratchet in vein. Suddenly, large shadows loom over him.
INT. DISCOVERY – DAY
Ratchet rushes through the halls towards the cockpit. He bursts inside and sees the video playing, but there’s no sound.
Jumping to the main console, the Lombax fiddles with every control he can find.
RATCHET
C’mon! Work! Give me some noise.
He starts coughing some. Still frantic at the controls, he pays it no mind.
He looks up at the screen again. Strange creatures are fighting the warring Lombaxes. Laser blasts volley back and forth.
He coughs again, harder, and goes back to the controls. His eyes start to water.
RATCHET
Where’s the volume control on this thing?
Ratchet keeps coughing, and his movements slow. He looks up at the screen again. It looks blurry.
Suddenly, it strikes him that there’s something wrong.
He turns towards the vents and notices that a yellowish gas is seeping inside.
Coughing loudly now, Ratchet grabs at his Omniwrench and slams it hard against the windshield to try and break it. It cracks some, but his hits grow weaker and weaker as he starts to loose energy.
He collapses on the console. With one last look out the window, he sees the fuzzy visages of Drek, Nefarious, and the Thug Leader, all before everything goes black.
Ratchet's lips are suddenly met with drips of water. He stirs somewhat, and opens his eyes, refocusing them to see a green figure dousing his lips with water from an old canteen.
The NEW-AGE ALIEN, a green skinned creature wearing purple robes offers his canteen to Ratchet, speaking in a high pitched, slightly scratchy voice.
NEW-AGE ALIEN
Drink up, Ratchet.
Ratchet jumps up and snatches the canteen, taking a long, frantic drink, which doesn't last long; the canteen is empty rather quickly.
RATCHET
Ugh… ack! Got… got any more?
NEW-AGE ALIEN
Heat is but an illusion, my friend. (holds fingers together) Aauuuumm. Aauuuumm.
RATCHET
Uh… well. Thanks anyway. I'm actually glad to see you.
Ratchet jumps to his feet.
NEW-AGE ALIEN
What brings you to Tebora? Searching for piece of mind?
RATCHET
No, but I'm searching for someone to give a piece of my mind to! (looking to New-Age Alien) Uh… you used some magic mumbo-jumbo on my ship before to get it going… so… uh…
NEW-AGE ALIEN
I cannot, Ratchet. The help you seek is just beyond that sand dune.
He points in the direction of the cave, which is indeed behind a mountain of sand.
NEW-AGE ALIEN
However, you will have to confront your worst enemy to find it. (holds fingers together) Aauuuumm. Aauuuumm.
RATCHET
Drek's here? But why would he be here? He should be on Endako. What's he planning?
NEW-AGE ALIEN
You are welcome. Good luck. (holds fingers together) Aauuuumm. Aauuuumm.
He begins walking off into the distance in the opposite way.
RATCHET
Hey! Where you going?
NEW-AGE ALIEN
Where ever the spirits take me. (holds fingers together) Aauuuumm. Aauuuumm.
He disappears over another sand dune.
RATCHET
I hope that's to an asylum.
Ratchet turns and treks over the indicated sand dune and gasps as he looks down.
It's a sand valley leading to a large oasis, which sits at the lip of the cave, much bigger than it appeared to be. Ratchet smiles hugely and hustles down into the water, shoving his face into it a getting a long, long drink. He then starts to douse him all over, like an animal fooling around in a lake.
A dark figure moves about in the cave. Ratchet doesn't see him.
What he does see once he stops celebrating, however, is his own reflection in the water. The bright eyes and smug smile. They disappear slowly off his face as some revelation strikes across his face.
RATCHET
How did I get here?
He flops onto his butt and covers his face with his heads, sighing dejectedly.
RATCHET
How… did I get here?
The faint sounds of mechanical movement perk his head up.
Across the oasis, at the cave's entrance, the MECHANICAL RATCHET, the Carbonax armored robot that framed him, stands right there like a looming apparition.
A silent moment occurs between them. Ratchet gets onto his face.
RATCHET
You wouldn't happen to be a hallucination?
The fake Ratchet pulls out a huge, sniper-rifle-like weapon.
RATCHET
Guess not.
He dives out the way as the robo-Ratchet fires the gun, a bright green laser blast narrowly zing by his ear.
The Lombax zig-zag-sprints his way through the palm trees and rocks as more shots pass by. He starts counting.
RATCHET
Four… five… six…
He slides under another shoot and takes cover behind a large boulder at the cave entrance.
RATCHET
… seven…
He then grabs a rock and tosses it out from behind the boulder in one way, luring the next shot away from him. The rock explodes right as Ratchet runs at the fake Ratchet from the other side of the boulder, Omniwrench at the ready.
RATCHET
Eight!
The robo-Ratchet tries firing but his gun is out of bullets. Ratchet jumps right into his face and swings.
He misses.
The mechanical Ratchet somehow shoots straight into the air via rockets, and lands a few feet away.
RATCHET
What the--?
Ratchet turns to the robo-Ratchet. A head pops up from behind him, attached to his back. A green-eyed robot that definitely resembles Clank looks at the real Lombax.
RATCHET
Clank?
The fake-Clank's eyes turn red. Ratchet's eyes narrow.
RATCHET
Klunk.
KLUNK laughs, which resembles Clank's laugh, but much more sinister. Robot-Ratchet then whips out an Omniwrench himself weapon, brandishing it like a sword. Ratchet gets himself poised to strike as well.
The Metal Lombax rockets at Ratchet thanks to Klunk's rocket boost. Ratchet reacts fast, parrying the strike, and the two go blow to blow, slamming and swinging wildly against each other.
Wrenches strike against wrenches as sparks fly with each hit. It's like a sword fight from ancient Roman gladiators, stepping and moving swiftly around each other as they brawl with similar fashion.
The Mechanical Ratchet has the upper hand in speed and mobility; Klunk's rocket boosts shoot him faster and higher to certain spots. Ratchet holds his own for a while.
The battle starts to shift to the robot's favor. Ratchet, weakened from the desert heat and overall fatigue, begins to wear down. The robots, unaffected by such things, continue to fight functionally, without wear and tear.
A momentary slip-up lowers Ratchet's guard down. He's tripped up by a low swing of the wrench, but manages to roll out the way as a powerful blow comes from above. He jumps up and tries to hit the fake Lombax from behind.
Klunk, however, gives Ratchet a punch to the face. Distracted, the fake Ratchet then delivers a powerful uppercut with his wrench, sending Ratchet high into the air. He lands flat on his back, dazed and injured.
The robot stands over Ratchet. He stomps on the Lombax's chest. Ratchet gazes up helplessly as the impostor holds his wrench up, ready to finish the job.
Ratchet closes his eyes. Peacefully.
CLANK (O.S.)
Ratchet!!
RATCHET
Huh!?
Ratchet, robo-Ratchet, and Klunk look over. Clank comes barreling at them, powered by his own rockets. He slams hard into the two machines, knocking them off Ratchet and letting the Ominwrench fly into the air.
The real Lombax jumps up onto his feet, leaps into the air, grabs the flying weapon, lands, and poses, ready to fight. Clank lands right next to him.
RATCHET
Thanks, Clank.
Robo-Ratchet and Klunk immediately recover and get back on their feet. The fake Lombax removes another device from his belt and presses a button. It extends into a dual-edged, staffed Omniwrench!
CLANK
Do not thank me yet.
Clank jumps onto Ratchet's back as the two stare down each other. Ratchet wields two separate Ominwrench weapons. Fake Ratchet wields one long bo-like weapon with two Omniwrenches attached to each side.
RATCHET
You ready, Clank?
CLANK
I was built ready.
Both Ratchets immediately rocket towards each other and clash, hard. They start fighting with perfect speed and perfect timing, dual wrenches meeting against staffed wrenches. More sparks fly between them.
The battle is frantic, with swing metal rocking back and forth, strikes slapping against the water, the rocks, the sand, the trees, and the cave walls.
Ratchet is much more active and alert this time around, his natural fatigue seemingly nonexistence as he jumps and flips and parries to fight against his impostor. Springing from walls and rocks, the two jump and rocket-jump against each other, a beautiful conflict of chaos.
They fight towards a narrowed space in the cave, still attacking each other with reckless abandon. Two of their swings get lodged into the rock wall, leaving them facing away from one another—which makes Clank and Klunk face each other.
Red eyes and green eyes narrow at each other.
While the Ratchets struggle to pull their weapons out the wall, the two mini-robots exchange not only punches and kicks in expert karate-like fashion, but robot-specific attacks, like saw blades and laser blasts.
Of course, this leaves the Ratchets to struggle to remove their weapons and avoid the errant attacks from their backs; jumping and bouncing around to dodge the tiny saw blades and plasma fire.
RATCHET
Whoa! Clank! Watch it back there!
CLANK (while fighting)
… my… apologies…
The two Ratchets manage to pull their weapons from the walls and return to clashing. More swinging and jumping, slicing and dicing, thrusting and parrying and dodging all around. The cave walls are ruined and destroyed.
The battle pushes itself back to the cave's entrance, Ratchet poised on the outside, the fake one on the inside.
RATCHET
Gah! He fights like me at every level! I can't beat him!
CLANK
Then we must do what your enemies do.
Clank points up at the top of the cave. A large boulder sits over the edge of the entrance, held in place by a smaller, slightly loosened rock.
CLANK
Cheat.
Ratchet grins. He and Clank rockets back into the battle, attacking Metal Ratchet and Klunk actively. The combatant machines ward off the advance with carefully swung blows.
Ratchet and Clank then rocket-blasts backward, and the two robots rocket-blast towards them. In the middle of the air, Ratchet tosses both his wrenches—one at the Mechanical Ratchet, and one at the loosened rock above him., knocing it away. The boulder teeters.
The Metal Ratchet dodges it with ease. Ratchet is weaponless, and the fake one laughs as it approaches the real one, Ominwrench Bo in hand.
MECHANICAL RATCHET
Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Ratchet backs up a few steps. The boulder falls.
Klunk looks up at the last second. His eyes go from red to pure white.
The boulder crushes both the robo-Ratchet and Klunk underneath its weight, destroying them instantly.
A stillness flows over the entire oasis. A peaceful, quiet silences that –
RATCHET
Whoo-Hooo! Yeah, boy! That's what I'm talking about!
Clank jumps off Ratchet's back and they give each other a high-five. They celebrate for a little longer before calming down. Ratchet, breathing heavily, looks at Clank and smiles.
I was recently published there as a feature! I detail intimately how REALLY powerful Princess Toadstool is (I guess the kids call her Peach now.)
I had asked about doing something like this before-- so I hope it's okay that I promote this. It's video game related, so it's on topic, and I'm totally down for debating it here.
They all follow Clank towards the living room, standing around the big screen TV. Clank presses a button on it.
A recording of Ratchet plays, complete with timecode. He messes with something offscreen.
RATCHET
Is this thing on? Yeah. We're good.
He steps back so he's in front of the camera.
RATCHET
Hey, everyone. Um, I'm not sure how to say this, so I'm just gonna say it. I guess. Look, everything that's happened, that's been happening, it's my fault. And I'm sorry.
The crew looks confused, but they listen silently.
RATCHET
Everywhere I go, trouble follows. And this mess right now, it's all about me. And I have no right to bring you down with me. You have lives. And purpose. I don't. Take the ship and go back home. Go back to your lives and your plans and forget about me. I'm handling this myself. And I'm serious.
Everyone gasps. Sasha and Angela become much more upset than the others.
RATCHET
I readjusted the ships coordinates to send it back to Obani. I took one of the escape pods, and disabled the other ones so you can't follow. This is my problem, and I apologize for bring you along.
Helga starts sobbing loudly, almost comically. Al consoles her.
RATCHET
I thank you all for you help, but now I must finish this on my own. Heh. Well… I guess… wish me luck. Bye.
The camera goes off—leaving the static snow on the screen.
There is an eerie silence. Not a sound his heard except for Helga's crying.
CAPTAIN QWARK (blurting out, angrily)
That crazy Lombax took my idea! I was gonna high-tail it out of here!
Everyone turns and stares hard at Qwark. He blinks.
CAPTAIN QWARK
Uh, did I say that out loud?
Sasha clenches her fist, angrily.
SASHA
Al! Infiltrate the mainframe and override those coordinates. We're heading to MegaRumble Games!
CLANK
But what about Ratchet?
ANGELA (angry, too)
Sasha's right. We don't have time for him. We have to stop Drek and Nafarious and whatever they're planning.
CLANK
But—
SAHSA
We'll infiltrate the Games by stealth and force. We'll create a distraction at one end—
ANGELA
-- while someone sneaks in at the other. Good idea.
CLANK
But—
HELGA (suddenly no longer crying)
Oooh! I get to beat up on security?
BIG AL
And I get to tackle that Alpha-Omega encryption?
CLANK
But—
SKIDD
Alright, dude!
He and the rest of the crew move quickly in different directions. Clank tries to say something but by that time, everyone is gone. Clank sadly hangs his head down, left along in the living room, static TV running next to him.
INT. ESCAPE POD – NIGHT
A tired, utterly exhausted Lombax pilots a tiny spaceship into the deep blackness of space. In the distance, stars twinkle, other ships fly by as specks, and planets pass by him like giant looming balls of gas.
Ratchet struggles to stay awake at the controls, but his eyes are heavy. He yawns and keeps shaking his head to keep from passing out.
He looks at his reflection again. He's fatigued, but his face looks beyond that. Confused. Frustrated. Lost.
RATCHET
I can't do this…
He hits a switch and pulls at lever, which slows the ship down into a stop. He leans back into his seat and drifts off.
INT. ESCAPE POD (RATCHET'S DREAM) – NIGHT
Ratchet wakes up slowly, looking slightly refreshed from the sleep. He yawns, stretches, relaxes, and looks down.
He's wearing the same exact uniform as Captain Qwark.
RATCHET
What! Get off me!
He tries to tear violently at his clothes but they just won't come off.
He then hears laughter. Turning around, he sees Captain Qwark, cackling at him.
CAPTAIN QWARK
Hahahaha! So, so, sad.
RATCHET
Wha…?
CAPTAIN QWARK
I may be a worthless sellout, but I would never risk the lives of my friends because I lust for adventure! Mainly because I have no friends and no sense for adventure, but still.
Ratchet looks horrified as Qwark continues laughing.
RATCHET
I'm not like you.
CAPTAIN QWARK
No, you're… just a little worse. You're not even fit to wear my uniform!
Ratchet looks down and sees he is suddenly butt-naked.
He looks outside and sees Sasha and Angela floating in space, pointing and laughing at him. The Lombax panics and tries to cover up but to no avail. Sasha and Angela grow larger, more grotesque as their laughter becomes more evil and sadistic.
Suddenly, the windshield of the ship turns green, and folding inward, matching the look of Clank's angry facial expression. The eyes slowly turn red, then start to glow.
RATCHET
Clank! Wait, no! I'm sorry! Little buddy, don't—
CLANK (O.S.)
The end of the Lombax.
The eyes suddenly fire a huge red laser into the cockpit—
INT. ESCAPE POD – NIGHT
Ratchet wakes up with a start, in the midst of a cold sweat, as a PROFESSOR VOICE speaks from the console.
The Lombax takes a deep breath and calms down, right as he begins to listen to what playing.
PROFESSOR VOICE
… to understand their role in galactic society. Well, this concludes the full, truthful report on that mysterious race known as Lombaxes—
Ratchet's eyes get huge. He messes with the controls frantically.
RATCHET
WHAT!? Wait! Hold on! Come back! Repeat! Replay! Repeat!
PROFESSOR VOICE
-- and their masterful nature. This is Professor Nosey, signing off.
RATCHET
No! Please… just… can't you…
Ratchet trails off, deeply disappointed, as a different LEGAL VOICE finishes the recording.
LEGAL VOICE (speaking swiftly)
Recording provided by the Cragmitian Interpol Association for Tachyon Royalties.
Ratchet is too hurt to even move, though. His eyes are closed, his breathing deep and heavy.
A honk from the ships console knocks him out his funk.
RATCHET
Huh?
He presses a few more buttons, which displays a view from the back of his ship. Apparently, another smaller ship is directly behind him. The vague driver is honking at him.
RATCHET (into intercom)
Go around!
The driver continues to honk. Annoyingly.
RATCHET
Go around! C'mon! What? My hazard lights aren't on? Dude!
The ship floats silently for a creepy moment before pulling up onto the side. Ratchet looks—and gasps.
LAWRENCE, an overly pudgy robot with a exotic voice and dressed as a butler, pilots the other ship. He speaks into his intercom, which is heard from Ratchet's ship.[/i]
LAWRENCE
Do you have any gray Pup-yion?
Ratchet growls and kicks the ship into high drive.
RATCHET
I got your Pup-yion right here!
Ratchet pulls the ship around to try and get behind Lawrence's ship. But the butler manages to stick to Ratchet tightly. The Lombax can shake him.
RATCHET
What the--?
Lawrence begins shooting laser blasts towards Ratchet's ship. He tries to avoid them and escape the tail, but the robot is behind him every step of the way.
RATCHET
Gah! Who knew this guy would be so good?!
The chase continues, Ratchet narrowly dodging every shot while loop-de-looping, barrel rolling, and twisting and turning to shake him, but nothing works.
An errant blast finally nails Ratchet's tail, exploding and causing his rocket engines to shut down.
The cockpit flashes red as Ratchet tries desperately to manage the controls. Smoke and steam blow from practically every duct. Wires snap and warning lights flash like crazy. The console flashes "EMERGENCY" repeatedly.
Ratchet grits his teeth and pulls hard at the controls, steering the ruined ship towards the nearest planet—a brown-colored one. He hurls down into the atmosphere at a record pace.
EXT. PLANET TEBORA – DAY
The ship zooms down through the clouds over a huge expanse of barren desert, smoke reeking from the engines.
Ratchet bears down and work the controls like a madman.
The ship comes in hard but straight, sliding against the sandy landscape for a good distance, leaving a huge trail in its wake. It slowly comes to a stop, the ship contorted and in pieces, but grounded.
Ratchet sighs heavily. The lights and noises are off, but smoke still fills the cockpit. He gives the hatch a hard kick, knocking it off, which lands and crashes on the ground. The ship itself is in shambles.
He crawls onto the hood and sees endless miles of sand, rocks, and desert. The only resemblance of something possibly interesting is a cave several miles away. Sighing worriedly, Ratchet begins his trek across the barren sand.[/i]
EXT. PLANET TEBORA – LATER
Two bright suns burn heavily onto the ground, causing the air to look wavy and mobile.
A slow-moving Lombax drags his Omniwrench behind him as he continues to walk.
EXT. PLANET TEBORA – LATER
The paw prints Ratchet leaves in his wake start to run together as he drags his feet now, moving much slower.
EXT. PLANET TEBORA – LATER
He falls on his knees, not a few miles from the cave. Short of breath, fatigued, and suffering, the Lombax collapses on his front. He doesn't move. Overhead, buzzard-like alien creatures begin to circle.
In this chapter, I introduce the MONTAGE, which is usually formatted like indicated below. It's like your typical 80s montage, where some sort of music usually plays while shots go by that indicate a bit of time passing.
The interior of the Discovery is large and expansive, yet surprisingly cozy, similar to an upscale, posh office. White walls and floors lead to several automatic doors, opening to clean living quarters, bathrooms, a kitchen, an exercise room, a dining area, and even a living room with a large screen TV and a device that resembles a gaming system.
One of the rooms resembles a boardroom, complete with a huge table and several chairs. In the center is a large, round device. The entire crew of Ratchet, Clank, Angela, Sasha, Captain Qwark, Skidd, Big Al, and Helga are seated. Sassha speaks while pointing at the central device. It turns on and displays a hologram of a schematic of a stadium.
The energy is positive, but unenthusiastic. Ratchet, in particular, looks very distracted.
SASHA
This is a schematic of the MegaRumble Games' Stadium. Knowing Drek, all entrances should be well guarded and all windows and extraneous entrances will, at the very least be under surveillance or armed with some sort of deadly motion sensor.
CAPTAIN QWARK
That sounds… er, deadly.
SASHA
We have about twenty-four hours before we reach in range of the Bogon Galaxy. I suggest we spend the time planning a detailed method of infiltration. Al here can take care of the security systems.
BIG AL
This place uses Ultimate Alpha-Omega one-thousand-twenty-four bit encryption. This is some serious security you guys. I can infiltrate it, but I'll be traced and shut down within minutes. You'll have to work fast, or…
Al traces an index finger across his neck. Qwark gulps.
HELGA
Bah! Decapitation is so overrated. We need to simply join the MegaRumble ranks and fight our way through. Or, which I prefer, just burst in and kick some butt!
SASHA
I have serious reservations about a direct assault—
ANGELA
The stealth approach is way too polarizing. Sounds to me like we either succeed, or fail and die. Am I right, Al?
Big Al takes a deep breath and nods.
BIG AL
Basically.
ANGELA
We all don't have stealth skills, but we all can kick some tail, so fighting our way in seems the best option.
SASHA
Hardly. I think we're seriously underestimating the sheer number of forces we'll be up against. Sneaking in is risky, but doable. Besides, I would think the experienced thief would know how to sneak into a few places.
ANGELA
Since you're being a wise Alec, I actually broke in and fought my way to steal it. You know what happens when you assume, Sass-sha? [Note: Angela pronounces it so it rhymes with "grass-a," emphasizing the "ass" part.]
SASHA
Since no one really cares what a former criminal-turned-witch thinks—
ANGELA
HEY!
SASHA
-- let's take it to a vote. Al?
BIG AL
I have no doubt that I am fully capable of going up against a network that will give my superior intellect a worthy challenge!
HELGA
Bah! This is child's play. Fighting off thousands of weaklings should be no match for us, especially when I put you all through my expertise-training program!
BIG AL
Honey, dear, I don't think we have the time for something like that…
HELGA
Hmmph! It would take three hours! Tops! Besides, no one would want to listen to you talk nerd!
ANGELA
That's two and two. Clank?
CLANK
I would prefer the infiltration option. Qwark?
Qwark is doodling something on a napkin.
CAPTAIN QWARK
Uh, would I have to do stuff for the stealth thing?
SASHA
Uh, yes, but---
CAPTAIN QWARK
Fight my way in.
On the napkin, he doodles the entire crew fighting a huge number of creatures, with a doodle of himself way in the far distance. He laughs to himself.
SASHA
Well, that's three and three. Skidd?
Skidd munches on nachos.
SKIDD
Whatever, dude!
Sasha and Angela just stare at Skidd as he eats. They roll their eyes and look to the Lombax.
SASHA
Well, Ratchet?
ANGELA
What do you think?
Ratchet, all this time, has been deep in thought, clearly distracting by something. He seems completely unaware that a conversation was even going on.
He looks at each person in the room, a serious, slightly worried expression on his face.
RATCHET
I think we should call it a night. Get some rest tonight.
SKIDD
Top bunk dibs!
Skidd sprints out the room.
CAPTAIN QWARK (stretching)
Whoo! Hard work today guys, good job!
Qwark shuffles out the room, too.
ANGELA
Ratchet, we need a vote!
SASHA
We need to plan, no matter what we choose.
CLANK
A democratic decision is required or the system is no good, Ratchet.
RATCHET
Well, it's no good today. We've been through a lot. We should rest. Just for a few hours. I promise I'll make my decision then.
He jumps off his chair and shuffles out the room.
CLANK
Ratchet, wait!
Clank runs after him. There is a moment of silence.
HELGA
I'm hungry. Let's get some food.
BIG AL
Right behind you, snookums.
They exit the room together, leaving the two ladies alone together. They look very, very confused.
As Ratchet walks down the hallways, Clank tugs a bit on his tail.
CLANK
What seems to be the matter?
RATCHET
It's nothing, Clank. I just need to lie down for a bit. I think.
CLANK
Ratchet, we have been doing this for a while, so my sensors are finely tuned to indicate distress within the Lombax body language.
Ratchet blinks confusedly at Clank.
CLANK
I can tell you are upset.
RATCHET
Oh. Well, I'm just not feeling well. I'm fine, Clank. I really am.
Ratchet slides into his room, the automatic doors closing behind him. Clank can only watch those doors close.
MONTAGE – RATCHET ADDS TO HIS GUILT
-- Ratchet wanders the ship halls. The lights are dimmed. The blackness of space passes outside the windows
-- He wanders past the living quarters. Qwark is fast asleep, snoring very, very loudly. Skidd, on the top bed, is watching something on a mini-TV device. He clearly is enjoying it.
-- He wanders past the dinner. Al and Helga are asleep on the table, arms wrapped around each other. Food crumbs and dirty plates surround them.
-- He wanders through a section of hallway where, in the distance, he sees Angela, perched on a windowsill, staring forlornly into distant space silently.
-- He then walks by another section of the hallway and sees Sasha leaning against a door, looking sadly at a picture of her father.
-- He walks back to his room, seeing his Omniwrench lying on his bed.
INT. DISCOVERY - LATER
Sasha whistles loudly and wakes a sleeping Qwark. He jolts up and bumps his head against the bed above him.
QWARK
Yee-ouch!
SASHA
C'mon, Qwark, we need to plan our attack now.
QWARK
Awwww!
A saddened Qwark follows Sasha. They head into the meeting room from earlier, where Al, Helga, and Skidd wait patiently, if all a bit tired.
Angela walks in, concerned.
ANGELA
Is Ratchet back?
SASHA
No, wasn't he in his room?
ANGELA
No dice.
HELGA
Ooo, maybe he got a head start in the exercise room, ya?
CLANK (O.S.)
Negative.
They turn to see the small robot standing outside the doorway.
Kevin Johnson is planning to take over the internet one small blog at a time. A Dartmouth grade with a penchant for having fun, drinking, and all things entertaining, Kevin will do his finest to add thoughtful, insightful looks at gaming and video games in general-- but do not worry, he can be just as snarky as the rest of the internet, 4chan excluded.
This person mainly has a "professional" blog at www.totalmediabridge.com; by "professional," he means it doesn't make money and it's really just a general showcase of his writing skill and blogging ability. In due time, however, he will improve it immensely in the months to go, along with a nice, super-secret project in the works. Stay Tuned!
Unfortunately, he isn't into the new gen-systems, because he can't afford them at the moment, due to the bad economy and student loans. But he still games when he can, mostly the unplayed favorites of the previous generation, and at the very least tries to stay current on what's going on, news wise.
So keep your eyes peeled for some particularly interesting stuff in the next year or so!
I'm currently in the process of writing a Ratchet & Clank screenplay exclusively for Destructoid! It takes place between R&C4: Deadlocked (the last PS2 game) and R&C: Tools of Destruction (the first PS3 game). I know fan fics tend to get pushed aside as lame, but so far the criticism has been positive, so hopefully if you do decide to read this, you won't sigh in annoyance.
Destructoid is an independently-run publication forged by our love of video games and the gaming community's need of accountable enthusiast press living the dream since March 16, 2006
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