Kevin Johnson is planning to take over the internet one small blog at a time. A Dartmouth grade with a penchant for having fun, drinking, and all things entertaining, Kevin will do his finest to add thoughtful, insightful looks at gaming and video games in general-- but do not worry, he can be just as snarky as the rest of the internet, 4chan excluded.
This person mainly has a "professional" blog at www.totalmediabridge.com; by "professional," he means it doesn't make money and it's really just a general showcase of his writing skill and blogging ability. In due time, however, he will improve it immensely in the months to go, along with a nice, super-secret project in the works. Stay Tuned!
Unfortunately, he isn't into the new gen-systems, because he can't afford them at the moment, due to the bad economy and student loans. But he still games when he can, mostly the unplayed favorites of the previous generation, and at the very least tries to stay current on what's going on, news wise.
So keep your eyes peeled for some particularly interesting stuff in the next year or so!
I'm currently in the process of writing a Ratchet & Clank screenplay exclusively for Destructoid! It takes place between R&C4: Deadlocked (the last PS2 game) and R&C: Tools of Destruction (the first PS3 game). I know fan fics tend to get pushed aside as lame, but so far the criticism has been positive, so hopefully if you do decide to read this, you won't sigh in annoyance.
The one speaks in rushed English, like a dubbed translation, although his mouth doesn't sync with his voice in any way.
Arrgh! You won't be getting through us, matey. Ha ha!
They all surround Clank. Clank furrows his brow.
They jump at him, but Clank smoothly dodges their attacks. He parry blows and punches, returning a flurry of kicks and punches, exposing some amazing martial-art skills of his own!
He flips over one, tossing him into another robot; jump kicks another; aerial-split-kicks two returning robots; and back-punches the remaining one. The robot ninja-pirates are done for.
Clank brushes his hands clean, then walks over to the console. He types in a series of keys and a flash of zeroes and ones pop on the screen.
CLANK (to earpiece)
The doors should be opening in one minute.
Great job, Clank! Meet us down there!
Clank blinks a second, looking closer at the code. He looks confused.
The screen shuts off suddenly. Clank shakes out of his distraction, and runs off into another path of wiring, not before looking back at the blank screen with concern.
I/E THUG-4-LESS SHIP BAY – DAY
The huge expanse of the ship's bay is filled with stacks upon stacks of crates. There are a number of ships too, and a massive computer screen planted into the wall. The massive bay doors are located on the ground itself.
Sasha runs in first, right at the exact moment Ratchet pops out the vent. He's covered in soot.
Ugh, they really need to clean those things.
She runs over to hug him and kisses him on his nose. They catch eyes for a moment, then back off each other.
It's, uh, good to see you're okay.
Clank stumbles out through another computer panel on the wall. He looks distracted.
Clank! You okay, little buddy?
CLANK (unsure of himself)
I… yes, yes I am. Look!
The bay doors begin to slowly open up, the whoosh of the blowing wind rushing inside as the foggy mountain tops expose themselves to the three.
Oh, great! Guess who's late!
Doors from the other side of the room explode open. A panicked Captain Qwark sprints directly towards the bay doors, with a ton of robots, goons, and rangers on his tail, all firing endlessly.
Out of my way! I'm going first!
SASHA, RATCHET, AND CLANK (variously spoken)
No! Wait, Qwark! Stop! The ship's not here! Hold on!
He leaps blindly into the wide open bay doors. There's a silence. Even those chasing Qwark have to stop shooting.
That's… probably the stupidest thing I have seen. Ever.
From the thick fog underneath rises Angela's plane! The hatch is open, and Qwark is safely inside it, just upside down, head inside the seat.
I was here the whole time! Now watch out!
Sasha, Ratchet, and Clank duck as Angela unloads a flurry of laser blasts into the ship, firing at not only the goons, rangers, and robots, causing them to scatter helplessly, but also blasting at all the ships inside, blowing them up one-by-one.
Clank jumps first, landing spot on into the cockpit of Angela's ship.
Sasha, you coming?
Sasha hesitates a second. Suddenly, the big screen flashes on, displaying the Galactic President himself.
Huh? What? Hey! Someone give me a status report on that pris—
He gawks, seeing Sasha standing next to Ratchet.
Sasha… say it isn't so…
Dad! You got to stop this! Please!
I… I'm sorry, honey. Please don't do this. Ratchet, whatever problem you have with me, we can deal with. Just please don't bring my daughter into this!
Ratchet drops his Omniwrench at his feet, and holds his hands up.
RATCHET (innocently, but with resentment)
I have no control over her, sir. Whatever choice she makes is purely up to her.
The Galactic President looks pleadingly at Sasha.
Sasha looks down, frowning. She closes her eyes, light tears forming along her eyelids.
I'm sorry, father…
Sasha turns and jumps out onto the ship.
No!! Ratchet! Don't do this! Don't let her do this!
Ratchet picks up his Omniwrench and shrugs.
I don't get between family quarrels.
Ratchet turns and jumps into the ship. All five are present and accounted for.
Angela turns the ships and rockets away, leaving the shocked Galactic President to watch helplessly.
INT. ANGELA'S SHIP – DAY
It's a tight fit, but Sasha, Angela, Captain Qwark, Ratchet, and Clank are all seated as the ship flies through the sky.
Haha! Once again, my bravery, in conjunction with my rock-hard abs and massive, rocket guns, allowed us to escape unscathed from the clutches of the Thug-4-Life prison! I smell book deal!
Shut up, Qwark. (to herself) Risking my life for this… (out loud) So did we find out anything about Gears?
Sasha looks out the window, somewhat forlornly. Ratchet watches her. Angela, steering the ship, doesn't notice it.
Not true! Soulja Bot told Ratchet something in his ear.
Everyone turns to Ratchet.
What did he say?
The suspense is killing me!
Oh! Um… okay… he said she was taken to the Megacorp MegaRumble in the Bogon Galaxy. On Endako.
What? That doesn't sound good. MegaRumble is a Megacorp-slash-Gadgetron gladiator deathcourse event. It's all a publicity stunt, but my father and the Galactic Federation were supposed to regulate it.
ANGELA (still piloting the ship)
Sounds like your daddy's doesn't know what the heck's going on!
Sasha is hurt more by that statement but Angela doesn't notice.
I suppose he doesn't.
Anyway, the Bogon Galaxy is far. Very far. No way this ship can make it there. Not with all of us.
I… I may know a guy that can help us.
The ship shoots out of the atmosphere of Aronos into space.