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Community Discussion: Blog by kjohnson1585 | Fan Script - Ratchet and Clank: All or Nothing [Part 7 of ???]Destructoid
Fan Script - Ratchet and Clank: All or Nothing [Part 7 of ???] - Destructoid

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About
Kevin Johnson is planning to take over the internet one small blog at a time. A Dartmouth grade with a penchant for having fun, drinking, and all things entertaining, Kevin will do his finest to add thoughtful, insightful looks at gaming and video games in general-- but do not worry, he can be just as snarky as the rest of the internet, 4chan excluded.

This person mainly has a "professional" blog at www.totalmediabridge.com; by "professional," he means it doesn't make money and it's really just a general showcase of his writing skill and blogging ability. In due time, however, he will improve it immensely in the months to go, along with a nice, super-secret project in the works. Stay Tuned!

Unfortunately, he isn't into the new gen-systems, because he can't afford them at the moment, due to the bad economy and student loans. But he still games when he can, mostly the unplayed favorites of the previous generation, and at the very least tries to stay current on what's going on, news wise.

So keep your eyes peeled for some particularly interesting stuff in the next year or so!

----------------------------------------------------

I'm currently in the process of writing a Ratchet & Clank screenplay exclusively for Destructoid! It takes place between R&C4: Deadlocked (the last PS2 game) and R&C: Tools of Destruction (the first PS3 game). I know fan fics tend to get pushed aside as lame, but so far the criticism has been positive, so hopefully if you do decide to read this, you won't sigh in annoyance.

So enjoy!

Ratchet and Clank: All or Nothing

Part 1.

Part 2.

Part 3.

Part 4.

Part 5.

Part 6.

Part 7.

Part 8.

Part 9.

Part 10.

Part 11.

Part 12.

Part 13.

Part 14.

Part 15.

Part 16.

Part 17.

Part 18.

Updates every Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays!

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More more more! How do like it, how do you like it? More more more!

Okay, so now I'm reaching the part(s) of the script that are kinda sorta awkward. I had to take some liberties here, since the series didn't really explain in detail what's contained within, so I'm trying my own "artistic license" to try and make it work. Let me know what you think. :)

This is also the part of the script where I "raise the stakes". One of the tricky things about video game movies is how good or bad you give characters more incentive to fight than being ultra-marines killing demons, without hacking on a generic life lesson (you don't need bionic arms, Jax!). Again, since most video games don't have deeper resonance (although nowadays they're starting to), you have to try and find a balance. Hopefully I found one.

Thanks to those who are keeping up!

------------------------------------------------------



Part 6 is here.

INT. THIEF'S SHIP - NIGHT

With time and distance between them and their pursuers, Ratchet and Clank mange to jump into the cockpit with the masked thief. The ship is propelling through the darkness of space.

Clank transforms himself back into his robot self as Ratchet turns to the thief.

RATCHET
Angela?

The thief removes his mask—it is indeed ANGELA, a taller, female Lombax-like creature with a soft face and a slender body.

ANGELA
You got it, fly-boy.

CLANK
How did you know when and where to find us?

ANGELA
Are you kidding? Gratch's news team was broadcasting the entire thing live.

RATCHET
That's the media for you, all fluff, no substance.

ANGELA
That "fluff" is got me to save your butt.

CLANK
But why bother to save us anyway?

ANGELA
Uh, cause… um… I was… bored.

An awkward silence occurs as Ratchet and Angela exchange a brief but noticeable glance. Ratchet grins, slyly.

RATCHET
Well—

Angela immediately pulls out a massive gun and points it at Ratchet.

ANGELA
Say it, and you're space dust.

RATCHET
--eeellls are where water comes from! Yeah. I was totally was gonna say that… uh… non… sequitur.

Clank laughs his signature laugh.

RATCHET
So… uh… where are we going?

ANGELA
Unfortunately, we're meeting with the only person that's an expert of running away and hiding.

RATCHET AND CLANK
Oh-no!

The ships zooms off and—

INT. CAPTAIN QWARK'S HIDEOUT - DAY

CAPTAIN QWARK, a huge, perfectly chiseled, muscular man dressed in a green outfit with an atom-with-lightening-bolt design on the front, typical Superhero tights, laugh uproariously at Ratchet and Clank, who look absolutely miserable.

CAPTAIN QWARK
HAHAHAHAHA! The satire! The utter satire of it all!

CLANK
I think the word you're looking for is irony.

CAPTAIN QWARK
And I think the word you're looking for is "Oh, please! Save me!"

That causes Qwark to laugh even harder. Ratchet clearly is getting pissed.

RATCHET
Hey, Qwark, when was last time you put that suit to use? Or have you been wearing it every day in delusions cooped up in this sad excuse for headquarters?

Indeed, the hideout is small, cramped, poorly lit. But it is cluttered with toys, stickers, action figures, and other objects sporting Captain Qwark's likeness.

CAPTAIN QWARK
Licensing is the Superhero way of saving the galaxy without actually having to save the galaxy. It's a win-win, I think. I mean, you should have taken the advice of your robot friend, Ratchet, and made a movie. Clank could be your sidekick for once!

RATCHET
That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard! I'm out of here!

Ratchet, in a rage, storms off. Clank and Qwark look at each other.

CAPTAIN QWARK
So, uh, Clank, when can I be in your next movie?

CLANK (perturbed)
Excuse me, I need to run a diagnostic on myself.

He waddles off as Qwark calls out behind him.

CAPTAIN QWARK
Hey, you owe me, buddy! I'll just have my people call—

The door slams behind Clank.

CAPTAIN QWARK
--your people. (thinking) Do robots have people? Mechanics? Repairmen? Hmm.

EXT. CAPTAIN QWARK'S HIDEOUT – DAY

A depressed Lombax treks through the snowy ground outside the hideout, which actually is an oversized cave. The planet is mostly a frozen wasteland with mountains and light snowflakes falling from the gray sky. The perfect reflection of Ratchet's mood.

He wanders towards Angela's ship, and sees Angela trying to fix something on the back engines. She grunts and pulls something, and a part falls off the back.

ANGELA
Ahh! Stupid piece of ship!

RATCHET
You should check your nuclear hoses. Your electric fuse connectors probably disconnect themselves from the blast.

ANGELA
Yeah, but I can't get them reboot all the way.

RATCHET
Here.

He slides in near Angela and looks inside the engine.

RATCHET
Oh, this is an older model. They need dual boosts to charge instead of single ones—

ANGELA
Oh, I got it then—

Their hands accidentally interlock in a slightly romantic manner. A moment of hesitation before they pull their hands away, quickly. Ratchet swiftly recharges the fuses to defuse the awkwardness.

RATCHET
Ah, yeah, there you go. Should be good. You can, uh, reattach that now.

ANGELA
Thanks. I was never good at this mechanic stuff. Biology is what I know best.

Ratchet starts to speak.

ANGELA
Say it, Ratchet, and you die.

RATCHET
I was going to ask about the Protopet, actually. See what happens when you assume?

ANGELA
Ugh. It might be better to talk about biology.

She walks away, annoyed. Ratchet follows.

RATCHET
What happened?

ANGELA
After the protopet incident, we managed to rewire them, to be safe. But because the stock was so bad, Fizzwidget and Drek made that deal. They started outsourcing more, questionably ethical scientists on the protopet project. I quit in protest.

RATCHET
Oh. I'm sorry.

ANGELA
Whatever. It's not my problem anymore. None of it is.

Angela pauses, before turning towards Ratchet pleadingly.

ANGELA
I'm going back to my home world, for good. I want you come with me.

RATCHET
What?

ANGELA
This galaxy is moronic, Ratchet! They keep setting themselves up to destroy themselves. Putting their faith into idiots like Captain Qwark. We should just go home. Forget about all them.

RATCHET
Putting faith in Quark… we'll, isn't that what we're doing right now?

ANGELA
We're desperate! Besides—

RATCHET
Is this why you saved me?

Angela frowns awkwardly.

ANGELA
I saved you because you needed saving. We Xabmols need to stick together.

Ratchet looks surprised. Very, very surprised.

RATCHET
Angela… I'm not a Xabmol. I'm a Lombax.

ANGELA
A Lombax!? Really?!

RATCHET
Yeah, I thought you were one, too!

ANGELA
… I'm not, Ratchet. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Forget it. Forget I said anything.

Angela turns to run away. Ratchet grabs her hand.

RATCHET
Angela, wait.... look, I understand where you coming from. Something inside of me wants to get out of here, too. But I can't. I don't exactly belong anywhere. And even if these galaxies keep trying to kill themselves, I… I feel like I have to help, you know?

ANGELA
Actually, I don't.

RATCHET
Heh, well, I just… when I'm in the moment, in the thick of things, that's when I feel like me. I, er, don't know how else to explain it.

ANGELA
Like Lombaxes are built for action. Right.

Ratchet flexes.

RATCHET
Don't hate.

ANGELA (chuckling)
Maybe you are, Ratchet. But I'm not.

Another awkward silence—which is interrupted by a vibration in Ratchet's pants.

RATCHET
Whoa!

ANGELA
Really, Ratchet? Really?

RATCHET
No! It's someone that can help me!

He grabs Angela by the arm and they run inside.



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