Kevin Johnson is planning to take over the internet one small blog at a time. A Dartmouth grade with a penchant for having fun, drinking, and all things entertaining, Kevin will do his finest to add thoughtful, insightful looks at gaming and video games in general-- but do not worry, he can be just as snarky as the rest of the internet, 4chan excluded.
This person mainly has a "professional" blog at www.totalmediabridge.com; by "professional," he means it doesn't make money and it's really just a general showcase of his writing skill and blogging ability. In due time, however, he will improve it immensely in the months to go, along with a nice, super-secret project in the works. Stay Tuned!
Unfortunately, he isn't into the new gen-systems, because he can't afford them at the moment, due to the bad economy and student loans. But he still games when he can, mostly the unplayed favorites of the previous generation, and at the very least tries to stay current on what's going on, news wise.
So keep your eyes peeled for some particularly interesting stuff in the next year or so!
I'm currently in the process of writing a Ratchet & Clank screenplay exclusively for Destructoid! It takes place between R&C4: Deadlocked (the last PS2 game) and R&C: Tools of Destruction (the first PS3 game). I know fan fics tend to get pushed aside as lame, but so far the criticism has been positive, so hopefully if you do decide to read this, you won't sigh in annoyance.
Sasha, in the bumbling mess of organizing rangers, runs off in another direction without being noticed.
The Rangers fire their laser pistols at Ratchet, who dodges them simply. They aren't good shots.
Some of the robotic soldiers jump into faster vehicles – hoverboards, morobikes, small carts—to catch up to him. They surround him and try to nab Ratchet. He jump-flips backwards, causing two carts to collide with each other, and knocking the hoverboarder off his board.
Ratchet jumps on said board and zooms off, leaving a trail of disoriented, partly destroyed Galactic Rangers.
The Galactic President facepalms. A hand is placed on his shoulder. He turns and sees Drek.
Mister President, it seems that we may need more… aggressive tactics to catch him. With your permission, I'd like to give my men a try.
The President hesitates.
Meanwhile, Ratchet is speeding across the landscape on the hoverboard.
Man, you see me ace those robotic morons?
This is not the time to gloat, Ratchet. We are in serious trouble.
I know, but c'mon! I -- WHOA!
Suddenly, another hoverboarder rides in from no where, slamming into Ratchet and Clank, knocking them off their board, tumbling into the ground. They end up upside down. They groan, Ratchet opening his eyes slowly.
A massive gun is pointed to his face, held by Sasha. She looks and speaks in a very upset demeanor.
Look me in the eye and tell me you didn't do this, Ratchet.
Ratchet jumps and scrambles into the upright position.
Sasha, I swear on my species I didn't do it!
Sasha hesitates before lowering her gun.
I believe you.
Thank you! Now, can you talk some sense into your father, please?
I can't. Not with Drek breathing down his neck. Here.
Sasha digs into her pocket and pulls out a small, metallic television-like device.
I will contact you on this when I'm on a secure, untraceable line. Take my hoverboard, too. It's faster.
He pockets the device, and steps on the hoverboard.
You are sure something special, Ratchet.
Yeah, " 'specially" wanted by the rangers.
You two be careful. I fear things are going get very, very hairy for you.
Nothing I can't handle.
I'll have to pretend to chase you. But remember, I'm on your side.
Thank you, Sasha.
Sasha and Ratchet share a moment as they catch eyes. He then fires up the hoverboard and sprints off.
He rides into the distance, leaving Sasha alone. But not for long.
A huge shadow looms suddenly over her. She looks up, and gasps.
Meanwhile, Ratchet surfs his way across the ground. Clank, on the Lombax's back, looks up.
Ratchet, we have got company.
More Rangers? I got this in the bag.
No, we have—
An explosion erupts near our escaping duo, blowing dust and sand everywhere. They narrowly escape it.
They look up. A huge number of massive ships rocket overhead. Blargians, robots, single and triple-eyed beasts known as Tyrranoids, and a hosts of other creatures that resemble The Thug Leader pilot them. Underneath them is a huge convoy of hoverboarders, bikers, and cart-rides, all the same, all evil.
Ratchet furrows his brow. He turns, gets into a "serious surfer" position, and powers off.
The beasts are on his tail. Laser blasts and rockets are fired upon the two escapees, though they manage to dodge and avoid all of them. Dust explodes everywhere, making things hard to see.
He heads towards another city in the distance, riding right through the outskirts and into the urban landscape proper. The deadly fleet follows him.
The narrower paths through the streets allow a number of the ground troops to crash and stumbling against other, idle ships, doorways, walls, and even hanging clotheslines! Ratchet skillfully rides through the streets unscathed.
Until an errand rocket explodes against a wall. The impact literally knocked the Lombax and the robot high into the air, flying through a window, crashing into on of the upper floors of the building.
INT. RANDOM BUILDING - DAY
Ratchet, hurt but intact, jumps to his feet, Clank still on his back, and sprints right as another explosion erupts where he just landed.
Hustling through the unknown halls, laser bullets blast through the glass windows and walls around him. Debris erupts everywhere. Smoke and dust fill the cramped hallways.
He dives into a stairwell and starts to run downstairs… only to see a number of armed Blargians and Tyrannoids running up them.
Looks like we're going up!
He jumps on the railing, and, with Clank's help, rocket-propels himself up from railing to railing, as bullets narrowly scathe his fur and ears.
He reaches the top quickly and busts out the final door.
EXT. VELDIAN ROOFTOPS – DAY
Ratchet books it across the roofs of the buildings. Ships try desperately to nail the Lombax, but they never get him.
Clank's rocket-boosts help the Lombax leap from rooftop to rooftop. A rocket blasts at him from a Blargian. He gets a sprinting start and rocket glides over a number of ships, all exploding behind him from said rocket. All that's singed on him is the end of his tail.
He reaches the edge of a roof and stops short.
There are no more buildings. Just a stretch of three thick-wired, electric power cables stretched into the distance.
The remaining ships and alien slowly creep onto Ratchet and Clank. There's no escape—
A ffigure on another hoverboard flies into the scene. The THIEF, a green-masked figure wearing a maroon cape, holds out his arms and shoots large, spinning discs from his weaponized glove.
The discs smack several of the ground troops, bouncing off and smacking even more troops! Five fired discs knock out forty different creatures.
The thief then drops a small device that explodes a huge smoke screen, hindering the vision of the aerial ships.
Ratchet and Clank watch all this, Ratchet specifically gazing at the flying thief with a face of familiarity.
The thief flies over to Ratchet, and tosses him a metal and green device known as the Hypershot and pair of white shoes with several small blocks on the bottom, known as the Grind Boots, at the Lombax.
You're gonna need these.
Ratchet is too stunned to even pick them up. Clank taps him on the head.
I am just as confused as you are, but this is no time to debate identities!
RATCHET (snapping to his senses)
He grabs the Hypershot and slips the Grind Boots onto his bare feet. By this time the smoke clears.
He zooms off into distances, along the path of the cable lines.
The smoke clears, and the disoriented convoy reset their sights on Ratchet.
The Lombax waves with a smile, and falls backwards off the roof.
The armed creatures rush over and look down—only to see Ratchet, literally, grinding along the cable wires like he's boarding! He's right behind the aerial thief.
The grounders are screwed. But the ships fly after in pursuit.
Ratchet grinds across the wires, the wind blowing in his fur. Rapid fired lasers are blasted at him. He flips from wire to wire to avoid them. He leaps over the poles, too, jumping from wire-set to wire-set.
The thief zooms around through the air, throwing discs and minor explosives to distract the ships. He nails some of them, but there's too many to over come.
One ship powers ahead and fires a rocket at the base of a pole, destroying it. It starts to fall, taking the wires with it.
Clank forces his rocket-jets on, springing the Lombax into the air as the wires go limp under him. He dramatically glides over a ship. He then grabs his Hypershot, and fires an electric-version of a grappling hook, snagging the bottom of the ship that blew up the pole.
He swings Indiana Jones-like through the air, releasing the hook as the ship itself loses control and smashes into the ground. The impact of the explosion sends the aerial Ratchet farther into the sky, landing on another set of stable cable wires.
The thief looks surprised but impressed.
The chase continues. Ships fire. Ratchet dodges. The thief tries to fight them off.
They approach the end of the lines—leading to a large power station. The thief makes circular hand motions towards Ratchet. He then powers off quickly, behind the power station.
What does that mean?
I believe that indicates something behind the power station.
I hope you're right!
At the last moment, he jumps off the wire, fires his Hypershot at an outcropping at the top of the station, and swings around it, right as more missiles are fired at him.
The impact of the missiles causes the station to glow. Dangerously.
The eyes of all the ship pilots just widen. Oops.
From the perspective of Drek, Nefarious, the Thug Leader, Sasha, The Galactic President, and Mr. Fizzwidget, the resulting explosion is a massive mushroom cloud of green fire, blasted into the sky.
Oooo, dat's pretty!
Green is my favorite color. Especially when combined with the burnt carcasses of squishies.
SASHA (horrified, to herself)
I can't help but think this may be perceived as overkill.
Sacrifices must be made.
Shockwaves explode through the area, coupled with the powered winds of the impact.
Suddenly, a lone ship zooms from the fireball, piloted by the thief. And hanging on the tail end of the ship, by the Hypershot, is none other than Ratchet and Clank.
They rocket over the group on the ground. They're all surprised, especially Sasha, who now has a smile on her face.
Drek's demeanor doesn't change. He actually grows angrier.
DREK (to himself)
And more sacrifices are soon to come.
The thief and a dangling Ratchet fly into the distance.