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kjohnson1585 avatar 2:06 AM on 08.07.2009
Fan Script - Ratchet and Clank: All or Nothing [Part 5 of ???]
Next installment here! This scene being fun to write, too. The next few actually have been really exciting. Hopefully you'll think so.

I cut the scene RIGHT before things got too good, because it reached a little past the five page limit. Gotta keep them wanting more. ;)

Comment and enjoy!

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Part 4 is here.


EXT. PLANET BARLOW – DAY

The limo-plane approaches the bustling cityscape—except, the cityscape is no longer bustling.

The brand-new Gadgetron building is gone; in its place is a massive pile of smoldering rubble. Other flying ships douse water on the simmering debris as a massive crowd stands around the destruction. The GALACTIC RANGERS, green-colored robots soldiers, jump around the area, questioning people, and otherwise looking for clues.

The limo-ship lands on the outskirts of the crowd. Ratchet and Clank jump out, bewildered at the utter mess.

RATCHET
What… what happened?

CLANK
This is not good at all.

Over on the far side, Darla Gratch stands with a immensely upset Abercrombie Fizzwidget, who is bawling his eyes out, and an oddly stoic Chairman Drek speaking into the mic Gratch holds for them. He’s saying something, but Ratchet and Clank are too far from them to hear. The Galactic President, Dr. Nefarious, and the Thug Leader are also there, most likely trying to make light of the situation.

SASHA (O.S.)
Ratchet! Clank!

The two turn to see SASHA PHYRONIX, a slender, tiny, female version of the Galactic President. Their resemblance is obvious. She runs towards them, happy to see them, but not exactly in the right place.

RATCHET
Sasha! What are you doing here? I thought you were busy being the mayor of Metropolis.

SASHA
I was. Er, I am. I mean, I’m really here to assist with the investigation. My father had a lot of stake in this venture, so he’s pulling all the punches to find the culprits.

CLANK
No offense, Sasha, but the Galactic President is not exactly known for making sound decisions.

SASHA
I know, but he’s still my father. Besides, a lot of people could have gotten hurt.

RATCHET
You know, I bet Drek’s behind this. Probably some elaborate insurance scam.

CLANK
That does not make sense. He has money, and it seems odd that someone who came dangerously close to destroying ten planets would lower himself to something relatively simple.

Over on the side, Drek, Fizzwidget, Gratch, the Galactic President, and a few Galactic Rangers watch something on a small, floating television set device. They look horrified.

RATCHET
It’s gotta be Nefarious. He hates anything living. Probably tried to destroy some.

CLANK
Unlikely. He would have destroyed his own factory. And not a lot of people were hurt. The incident seems to have taken place at night, after everything would have been closed.

An ANXIOUS RANGER runs over to Sasha. He gives Ratchet and Clank an awkward look before speaking to her in loud whispers.

ANXIOUS RANGER
Uh, S-Sasha? You might, uh, want to see this.

SASHA
Hold that thought, Ratchet.

She runs over to watch the television. Ratchet seems way too preoccupied with his rambling though.

RATCHET
Uh, then, the Thug Leader dude?

CLANK
I doubt it. Megacorp was paying him legitimately. Besides, he is an idiot.

Ratchet rubs his chin, thinking. As he talks, the crowd gathered around the TV begins to look at him, one by one.

RATCHET
Then who? Some other dangerous monster, probably. A new threat to the universe rearing his ugly head.

The crowd approaches Ratchet slowly.

CLANK
Uh, Ratchet--?

RATCHET
Some hideous, awful creature, someone so bloodthirsty, so diabolical, that his mere presence would cause buildings to collapse and planets to explode soon after.

He stops, turning, seeing the Galactic group, the businessmen, the media—heck, the entire mass throng of people are suddenly staring at him. HARD.

RATCHET
Uh… hi.

GALACTIC RANGER 1 (to partner)
He returned to the scene of the crime! The poor bastard.

GALACTIC RANGER 2 (responding)
He’s planning to destroy planets next? Curse his black soul!

The Galactic President steps forward.

GALACTIC PRESIDENT
By order of the Universal Federation, I am having you placed under arrest, Ratchet, for conspiracy to commit acts of willful terrorism.

RATCHET
WHAT!?

ABERCROMBIE (crying)
Why’d you do it, Ratchet? What did Gadgetron ever do to you?

DREK
The Lombax is a menace. No doubt needing some pathological fix to destroy everything that tickles his fancy.

THUG LEADER
Heh, and I thought I was a monster! Er, in my past-life, dat is.

DR. NEFARIOUS
See? This is what happens when you let squishies run rampant! If you can’t eradicate them, at least put a collar on them, or something. A leash might work.

DARLA GRATCH
Care to comment on your resent foray into overwhelming sadistic cruelty?

RATCHET
What are you people talking about!? You think I did this? Sasha, you believe this nonsense?

Sasha looks hurt, as if shocked. She takes a step forward.

SASHA
The… evidence against you is hard to refute.

Sasha unveils the mini-TV device. It flashes a timecode, and shows what appears to be a basement, at an angle resembling a security camera. It runs silently.

A Ratchet clone appears, resembling the Lombax’s build but encased in a red metal armor-like metal suit. He looks around sneakily, and then proceeds to plant small sized devices on a number of columns within said basement. They flash a red dot, resembling explosives.

Sasha closes the TV and looks at Ratchet sternly.

SASHA
We also have a boardroom filled with robots claiming your anger at the company, threatening their lives.

THUG LEADER (overacting)
I was so scared!

RATCHET
That wasn’t me! That’s clearly an impostor! A robot!

NEFARIOUS
Oh, now he’s blaming robots? Is there no shame to your unadulterated hate?

RATCHET
No! That’s just the Infernox Armor suit! You people made that!

NEFARIOUS
What do you mean, you people!?

RATCHET
I mean Megacorp! Someone could just have easily built a robot to wear it and pretend to be me!

DREK
Or you could have worn it to protect yourself from inadvertently letting a bomb go off too early.

Drek speaks that line so casually as he gazes at his fingertips. He gives the Lombax a side glance.

DREK
As long as we’re speculating.

RATCHET
You…

He starts to approach Drek, the crowd letting out a gasp, but Clank immediately jumps in front to stop him.

CLANK
Ratchet, wait! Please, control your anger. Now is the absolutely worst time to overreact.

Ratchet stands down, relaxing some.

RATCHET
Look, that is not me. And I have proof! I was asleep when I was attacked by Megacorp’s protopets! On Veldin! They flipped out and I had to fight off, like, a million of them.

CLANK
That is true.

GALACTIC PRESIDENT
Protopets? You mean the creature so sweet it’ll give you cavities?

RATCHET
I’d question your marketing research with that tagline but yes! They’re just as crazy as when I fought them before! Come back to my home planet and I’ll show you the bodies.

He turns and walks towards the limo-ship, everyone following.

EXT. RATCHET’S HOUSE – DAY

Not a single protopet body is visible. Everything appears absolutely normal. Even Ratchet’s ship has been repaired.

Sasha, Gratch, Fizzwidget, Drek, The Galactic President, Dr. Nefarious, the Thug Leader and a large number of Galactic Rangers are there, wholly unimpressed with the lack of dead protopets.

RATCHET
Where are they?! I swore I fought them. I fought a billion of them!

GALACTIC RANGER 1
First millions, then billions! Can’t keep his story straight for the life of him.

GALACTIC RANGER 2
He gone plum-loco. To think I looked up to him.

RATCHET
I’m telling you, the protopets were here! They were trying to kill me!

The crew turns to see the CHILD ROBOT from earlier petting another, innocent looking protopet. It pants cutely.

CHILD ROBOT (pronounces ‘r’ sounds as ‘w’s’)
Oh, Fluffy, you are my best friend in the whole wide world!

He hugs him. The crowd “Awwwwws” in unison.

RATCHET
Oh, come on!!

Ratchet grabs Clank off the ground suddenly.

CLANK
Whoa--!

RATCHET
Don’t you have an internal optical recorder or something we can playback? You were there!

CLANK
I’m sorry, Ratchet, but I turned it off for the movie premiere. Piracy is a big issue these days.

RATCHET
WHAT!?

Instinctively, Ratchet begins to shake Clank in frustration.

GALACTIC RANGER 1
He’s hurting Secret Agent Clank!

GALACTIC RANGER 2
THAT’S IT! I will not put up with anyone hurting my favorite movie star!

The ranger aims his weapon at Ratchet, but Sasha knocks his gun out his hands.

SASHA
Stand down, soldier!

GALACTIC RANGER
Awwww!

Sasha slowly approaches Ratchet, who is tugging insanely at his ears. She puts her hand on his shoulder.

SASHA
Ratchet… maybe it’ll be better to… discuss this down at Intergalactic Headquarters.

Ratchet’s eyes go tiny. He jumps back and panics.

RATCHET
No! I can’t! You know the type of people that get sent there! The red tape! They get sent to Thugs-4-Less prison! On Aranos!

THUG LEADER (mock offended)
Hey! I know good people dere! Good people.

Ratchet looks around in a panic as everyone around him steps closer and closer.

CLANK
Ratchet, think this through… if you run, they cannot help you. I cannot help you.

SASHA
Listen to him, Ratchet. Please.

Ratchet clutches at his wrench. He takes a deep breath, and whispers to Clank.

RATCHET
If you join them, Clank, I’d understand. But you know what I’m gonna do. What I HAVE to do.

Clank sighs and attaches himself to Ratchet’s back.

CLANK
Stardom was nice while it lasted.

Ratchet then turns and RUNS.

GALACTIC PRESIDENT
Get him!

The Rangers do not move.

GALACTIC RANGER 1
Uh, you do know what he’s capable of, right?

The Galactic President looks surprised at that response. So Drek takes up the helm.

DREK
Listen, you sorry, sniveling excuses for military force, if you don’t capture that Lombax right now, so help me I’ll have you cleaning the backside the biggest, nastiest, hairiest, most flatulent Blargians this side of the Solana galaxy for all eternity!

THAT gets the Galactic Rangers moving, firing and giving chase to the escaping Lombax.

Drek asides to the President.

DREK
Authority is everything.

Tagged:    Artsy Fartsy    cblog  

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