Kevin Johnson is planning to take over the internet one small blog at a time. A Dartmouth grade with a penchant for having fun, drinking, and all things entertaining, Kevin will do his finest to add thoughtful, insightful looks at gaming and video games in general-- but do not worry, he can be just as snarky as the rest of the internet, 4chan excluded.
This person mainly has a "professional" blog at www.totalmediabridge.com; by "professional," he means it doesn't make money and it's really just a general showcase of his writing skill and blogging ability. In due time, however, he will improve it immensely in the months to go, along with a nice, super-secret project in the works. Stay Tuned!
Unfortunately, he isn't into the new gen-systems, because he can't afford them at the moment, due to the bad economy and student loans. But he still games when he can, mostly the unplayed favorites of the previous generation, and at the very least tries to stay current on what's going on, news wise.
So keep your eyes peeled for some particularly interesting stuff in the next year or so!
I'm currently in the process of writing a Ratchet & Clank screenplay exclusively for Destructoid! It takes place between R&C4: Deadlocked (the last PS2 game) and R&C: Tools of Destruction (the first PS3 game). I know fan fics tend to get pushed aside as lame, but so far the criticism has been positive, so hopefully if you do decide to read this, you won't sigh in annoyance.
This part was a blast to write. I wonder how many of ya'll will get the reference I made here. Hint: it'll help to visualize what's going on.
Not exactly 5 pages, but it's better to separate things in terms of scenes instead of strict pages, to keep the flow of the action going. Also, "supers" mean "superimposed", referring to words that pop up on screen, like titles, translations, or those location/time/setting indicators you see on like the X-Files or thriller movies.
Ratchet sleeps soundly, the crickets chirping lightly in the background. The pale moonlight sinks into the room.
A light crash wakes him up.
He shuffles of bed, yawning, and heads towards the source of the noise: the kitchen. Inside, there’s a small blue creature chomping around the sink area. It turns around—it’s a protopet, looking adorably cute and innocent.
Oh! Geez! My sink!
Indeed, the plumbing underneath is a garbled, destroyed mess. He runs over to it, checks out the damage, and hangs his head in frustration.
I just had this fixed!
He looks at the protopet, whose eyes are huge with adorableness. Ratchet smirks and reaches out to pet it.
Good thing you’re fixed now. Must have ran away from someone—
He yanks his hand away from the blue monster as it nearly bites his hand off. It growls at him.
I’m suddenly getting that déjà vu feeling.
He then springs out the way as the protopet lunges for him, ripping a bite into kitchen counter. It turns and races after the Lombax, who jumps and flips around the kitchen to avoid it.
Whoa! Down, boy! Sit! Stay!
The sharp-teethed animal snaps onto Ratchet’s tail.
He spins hard, jerking his hips, sending the protopet careening into the wall. It bounces off, just angrier.
Ratchet runs pass the refrigerator as the creature gives chase. With quick thinking the Lombax grabs the fridge door and flings it open, slamming it forcefully against the protopet’s face, knocking it out cold.
RATCHET (breathing heavily)
Whew! Yeah! That’s what I call “nuking the fridge!” Wait… does that even make sense?
A few familiar warbles emerge from the massive Annihilator hole. Ratchet turns and gawks.
His yard is absolutely filled with around fifty protopets, all angry, all flashing their razor-sharp jaws.
They all spring at the Lombax, leaping through the hole, the doors, and the windows, crashing in through every opening. Ratchet high-tails it, hustling through the house, narrowly dodging every bite and chomp. He slides under a table to avoid one batch; he spring-jumps off a wall to avoid another. He manages to make it out a window.
EXT. RATCHET’S HOUSE - NIGHT
Sprinting towards his ship, Ratchet runs as fast as he can as a ton of protopets chase to devour him.
He gets to the ship and leaps inside, closing the hatch before the creatures can get inside. He proceeds to flick switches and power up the ship—but nothing happens. In fact, a screen on his dashboard flashes “ENGINE MALFUNCTION”.
Engine malfunction? Are you kidding me?
He presses a button labeled “Diagnostic”. It flashes an internal schematic of the ship. The area where the engine should be is blank. The message “ENGINE MISSING” blinks.
Guess that would constitute as an engine malfunction.
He yells as the monstrous pets eat more and more of the ship, ripping pieces off, working their way inside.
Ratchet catches a glance of his reflection in the glass again. He sees himself worried, scared—a look he growls at.
He turns around, angry and determined, and sees the Omniwrench 3000.
EXT. RATCHET’S HOUSE – NIGHT
As the protopets surround the ship, chomping and eating it to bits—the hatch springs open, sending several pets flying. The ejector seat pops up. A yellow blur springs in the air, over the creatures and lands on the ground.
Ratchet spins and smacks the nearest pet, and he goes flying. The crowds of protopets look at their tossed crony, then back at Ratchet.
He spins the wrench over his front, karate-style, and poses, ready to fight. Ratchet is back.
The protopets snarl angrily and go after him.
He slams the nearest two beasts and then jump-flips over them into a clearer area. They chase, but the Lombax expertly slaps them left and right with ease. He slams a leaping one down into the ground and sweeps the wrench along the ground and knocks a few more off their feet.
Above, a long, white, limo-esque spacecraft slowly flies overhead. The window rolls down, and Clank gawks at the chaos below.
Ratchet, down below, leaps again and sends one flying away with a swing, knocks out a couple of more, then blasts one straight into the air. He bashes a few more before hitting the aerial protopet into the ground.
A quick hit sends one careening through a bench and into a wall. It shakes off the mess and grows loudly.
PROTOPET (translated via supers)
Ratchet fights more and more protopets as they keep coming. He knocks out two protopets near him, and dropkicks his wrench into a third one. He’s tackled by one, but spins away from him, knocking that pet into others.
Those in the further outskirts of the surrounding riot literally replicate themselves by spitting monstrous clones out their mouths. From Clank’s point of view, it’s a moving, galaxy-shaped motion of blue bodies, trying to reach the center but constantly being knocked back.
Ratchet is a beast with his wrench, reflexes with impeccable timing as he defends himself. He smack flicks over one. He gets hit, but lands on his wrench, spinning off the handle, kicking several pets at once. He then swings the wrench around, trying to create space, but the pets move in closer.
Clank opens to limo-door and yells to his drive.
He jumps out as a helicopter blade extends from his head. He glides down beyond the mess and runs inside Ratchet’s house.
Meanwhile, a protopet headbutts the Lombax, and he careens through a number of them, dropping his wrench. Dazed but on his feet, he begins to leap across their heads, kicking and punching who he can, but one hits him out the air. He falls, and the protopets immediately smother him. He struggles but can’t escape the weight.
A protopet growls in his ear.
PROTOPET (translated via supers)
It… is…. Delectable.
He’s poised ready to bite the Lombax.
Clank bursts from Ratchet’s house, holding a huge gun, labeled “The Annihilator”. He smacks a number of protopets around, running into the thick of things, pushing the gun into the mess, as close to as Ratchet as he can.
Ratchet! Get out…
Nothing moves as the protopets become a huge blue mass.
Suddenly, there’s an explosion of blue beasts as Ratchet fires the gun, protopets flying everywhere, raining down on the landscape. He tosses a pet around and flings it. Ratchet is burnt, torn, and beat up, but otherwise standing.
Clank immediately attaches himself to Ratchet’s back, and transforms himself into a rocket jet pack. Bending down, Ratchet and Clank explode upward, propelling themselves high into the air, right before the rest of the protopets can get to them.
They land right on the limo-ship, on the outside of the cockpit. The DRIVER looks surprised.
RATCHET AND CLANK
The driver zooms out of the area in haste. The protopets look disappointed and confused. One cracks his neck. Theyy slowly begin to filter away.
INT. LIMO-SHIP – NIGHT
Ratchet and Clank crawl inside the ship as it flies over the Veldian landscape.
Are you alright?
RATCHET (breathing heavily)
Yeah. (perking up) Driver, take us to Barlow. Those Megacorp creeps have to be responsible for this. I’m gonna give them a piece of my mind!
Shouldn’t we take you to a hospital first?
No time, we gotta do this now.
A moment of silence as the limo-ship shoots off into space.