Kevin Johnson is planning to take over the internet one small blog at a time. A Dartmouth grade with a penchant for having fun, drinking, and all things entertaining, Kevin will do his finest to add thoughtful, insightful looks at gaming and video games in general-- but do not worry, he can be just as snarky as the rest of the internet, 4chan excluded.
This person mainly has a "professional" blog at www.totalmediabridge.com; by "professional," he means it doesn't make money and it's really just a general showcase of his writing skill and blogging ability. In due time, however, he will improve it immensely in the months to go, along with a nice, super-secret project in the works. Stay Tuned!
Unfortunately, he isn't into the new gen-systems, because he can't afford them at the moment, due to the bad economy and student loans. But he still games when he can, mostly the unplayed favorites of the previous generation, and at the very least tries to stay current on what's going on, news wise.
So keep your eyes peeled for some particularly interesting stuff in the next year or so!
I'm currently in the process of writing a Ratchet & Clank screenplay exclusively for Destructoid! It takes place between R&C4: Deadlocked (the last PS2 game) and R&C: Tools of Destruction (the first PS3 game). I know fan fics tend to get pushed aside as lame, but so far the criticism has been positive, so hopefully if you do decide to read this, you won't sigh in annoyance.
The Thug Leader laughs manically as his humvee approaches the Discovery crew, who are trapped under the hail of laser fire from his gattling gun.
Suddenly, they hear a scream.
COURTNEY GEARS (O. S.)
Get out of the way, Lardo!
Hey! Who you callin'—
He turns and sees Gears hustling towards him, complete with the Bio-Obliterator obliterating everything in its path.
The goons and robots scream and run all over the place in a mess of chaos and disorder.
He immediately stops firing and hops off the humvee. The ball runs over some of the goons and bots, leaving Gears and the Thug Leader the only ones running from it, Indiana-Jones style.
The Bio-Obliterator rolls towards the Discovery crew.
Sasha, Angela, Qwark, Al, Helga, and Skidd duck into the tiniest corners they can find as Gears, the Thug Leader, and the massive ball run past them. At the very end of the hall, the two jump into another side doorway as the ball rolls past them, into the wall—and through it.
It bowls through the wall, tearing a humongous hole into side of the stadium, into the outside world.
EXT. ENDAKO – DAY
The Bio-Obliterator rolls out into the streets, where pedestrians and cars and ships swerve out the way to avoid it.
It tumbles towards the dock and rolls right off it, splashing into the water, causing a huge tidal wave, splashing over the entire bay area, practically.
Gears and the Thug Leader peek out the hole, staring at the tremendous amount of damage.
Whew. Dat was a close one.
GALACTIC PRESIDENT (O.S.)
They look up and see a host of Galactic Rangers, piloting several heavily armed aircraft. The Galactic President sits within the main ship leading the armada.
The two criminals put their hands up as the ships land. Two rangers immediately jump out and arrest Gears and the Thug Leader. The Galactic President emerges from his ship and looks around.
Immediately after, Sasha comes sprinting out.
She runs over and gives him a hug hug. The rest of the crew stumbles out into the daylight. Behind them, a huge number of patrons rush out like a wave, fleeing for their lives.
A RANGER CONTROLLER with a loudspeaker tries to speak to the crowd.
Now, if we can all just form one line so we can take individual statements.
The entire crowd rushes past him as if he wasn't there.
Dude. Let it go.
The Ranger Controller sighs and looks dejectedly.
Suddenly, both Angela and Sasha turn towards the stadium.
ANGELA AND SASHA
The entire remaining group stares at the stadium. Waiting.
INT. MEGACORP MEGARUMBLE STADIUM – DAY
Ratchet stares down silently at the destroyed mess left by the Obliterator on his hoverboard.
He slowly turns around and gazes at the announce booth, directly at Drek.
Drek stares back. Neither says a word. Green eyes gaze hard into eyes of pure emerald.
Ratchet glides over to Drek, slowly at first, then with increasing speed. He grits his teeth, which becomes a growl.
Right as he gets near the booth, Drek whips out a massive gun from behind his back and fires a huge, explosive barrage of flames, tearing through the window like nothing.
The burnt remains of the hoverboard lands at his feet. Drek kicks it and looks out before him.
The Lombax falls down from above and gives Drek a powerful kick to his face, sending him flying across the room. Clank's rocket boosts slowly lower Ratchet onto his feet.
He picks up the dropped gun and walks over to Drek slowly, who's trying to crawl away.
I was just kidding, Ratchet! C'mon! It's all in good fun!
Ratchet has the look of death on his face as he steps closer towards Drek.
I have you want, Ratchet! It's all in this computer! Every single detail about the Lombaxes! What they stand for! Where they are now! Don't you want that? Don't you want to know where you come from? Who you are?
No. Not at your expense.
He raises his gun in the air.
QUICK FLASHES – RATCHET RELIVES THE GOOD MOMENTS
-- Ratchet and Sasha look at each other on Veldin.
You are sure something special, Ratchet.
-- The Lombax whoops some Protopet butt on Veldin.
I know what I can do.
-- Ratchet and Angela look at each other at Qwark’s Hideout.
Like Lombaxes are built for action.
-- He performs some amazing feats to escape the rangers and goons on the Veldin powerlines.
RATCHET (V. O.)
I know what I'm capable of.
-- He talks with the New-Age Alien on Tebora.
You will have to confront your worst enemy to find it.
-- He stares at his reflection on the windshield in his ship on Veldin.
-- He stares at his reflection in the oasis on Tebora.
I know who I am.
-- He and Clank cheer over defeating the fake Ratchet and Klunk on Tebora.
PROFESSOR VOICE (V.O.)
… to understand their role in galactic society.
-- Ratchet and Clank pilot the escape pod through the depths of space towards Endako.
-- Clank leans over and whispers into his ear on the platform in the MegaRumble Stadium.
INT. MEGACORP MEGARUMBLE STADIUM – DAY
Drek gawks up at the renewed and rejuvenated Lombax.
This is what you were born for.
This is what I was born for.
Drek frowns at that powerful statement. Ratchet stands above him.
The frown turns into a twisted, sadistic grin.
Then this is what you will die for.
He turns swiftly and slams on a huge red button behind him. The entire place begins flashing alarms and sirens blare into the air.
Drek begins to laugh. Louder. Louder. His laughter echoes all over as machines break apart and wires explode from the walls. Lights pop and the entire building begins to shake.
DREK (in creepy hysterics)
There's no central pad to press to save you from this, Lombax!
Ratchet backs up from Drek as a huge part of the scaffolding onto his vicinity, his form immediately disappearing underneath it. His laugh is still heard but the sirens drown it out eventually.
Ratchet sprints to the last remaining console and quickly starts typing in commands.
Clank! I can download the code off this machine! I can save her in time, and—
Clank places his hand on top of Ratchet's stopping him.
We must let it go, Ratchet. She knows she must be destroyed. Her, and everything with her.
Ratchet and Clank look up at the massive green screen above them. Even as everything shakes and crumbles around them, the screen remains blank and silent. An understood calmness in the storm.
Clank hops onto Ratchet's back and the two hustle out of there.
EXT. ENDAKO - DAY
Rangers forcefully back up the crowd as huge chucks of the stadium begin to fall apart and rip at the seams. Giant fireballs propel from a number of sections. Metal debris rains down from the sky as the roof of the stadium collapse upon itself. The entire thing in time crumbles save for a few side walls and arches.
The winds howl silently as Rangers and other uniformed personnel rush over with hoses, spraying water onto the burning wreckage. No movement is noticeable except for the flickering flames spread all over.
SASHA (to herself)
Everyone around the wrecked stadium looks down, sad, and dejected. Helga and Big Al cry loud sobs against each other. Even Captain Qwark sheds a few tears.
Whoa! Dudes, look!
Everyone turns and looks up, From the darkness of one of the remaining archways, Ratchet and Clank walk out calmly. They're covered in soot and dirt, but are other wise fine.
The crowd erupts in cheers and applause. The two heroes smile and wave to the excited mass around them, enjoying the moment as much as they can.
Darla Gratch suddenly makes an appearance, zooming over with her CAMERAMAN.
Ratchet! Clank! Two heroes-turned-villains-turned-heroes have indeed done the impossible: dispatched the universe's most notorious criminals, stopped perhaps the most dangerous plot in all of super-villain history, and cleared his own name, all at the same time! What do you have to say for yourself?
She points the mic at them both. Ratchet tries to speak but can't catch his breath. Clank just coughs black smoke.
The Galactic President appears in a flash. He hugs the two against his chest.
I'd just like to say that I believed these two were innocent all this time. In fact, this was an all an undercover operation, designed by me, to expose Drek and his shenanigans!
Ratchet and Clank struggle to breathe in the President's arms.
Remember, a vote for me is a vote to be free!
CAPTAIN QWARK (O.S.)
Now, mister President…
He snatches the mic from Gratch's hand and talks directly at the cameraman's camera.
Don't forget, this amazing plan of yours was spear-headed by yours truly! Displaying amazing bravado and a keen sense of keenness, I first deduced easily that the Lombax couldn't have possibly—
--As I was saying, vote for me in the next election—
--that's Q-W-A-R-K. A lot of people misspell it with a U—
-- probably cause that's the way you're supposed to spell it! Now, remember, folks—
As the two fight and mug for the camera, Ratchet and Clank sneak off to the side, towards Angela and Sasha.
Aren't you going to fight for you dues?
Nah, they can have it. I don't need any attention right now.
Clank laughs his signature laugh.
Look, Ratchet… we're sorry we never went after you after you left the Discovery.
Yeah. That was kind of a selfish thing to do.
No. It's all my fault. I'm sorry for bailing on you.
He looks to Sasha, Angela, and Clank.
I'm lucky to have you all as friends. Al, Helga, Skidd, and yes, even Qwark. Sometimes.
The three of them laugh as the Rangers clean up the mess and the President and Qwark fight it out.