Kevin Johnson is planning to take over the internet one small blog at a time. A Dartmouth grade with a penchant for having fun, drinking, and all things entertaining, Kevin will do his finest to add thoughtful, insightful looks at gaming and video games in general-- but do not worry, he can be just as snarky as the rest of the internet, 4chan excluded.
This person mainly has a "professional" blog at www.totalmediabridge.com; by "professional," he means it doesn't make money and it's really just a general showcase of his writing skill and blogging ability. In due time, however, he will improve it immensely in the months to go, along with a nice, super-secret project in the works. Stay Tuned!
Unfortunately, he isn't into the new gen-systems, because he can't afford them at the moment, due to the bad economy and student loans. But he still games when he can, mostly the unplayed favorites of the previous generation, and at the very least tries to stay current on what's going on, news wise.
So keep your eyes peeled for some particularly interesting stuff in the next year or so!
I'm currently in the process of writing a Ratchet & Clank screenplay exclusively for Destructoid! It takes place between R&C4: Deadlocked (the last PS2 game) and R&C: Tools of Destruction (the first PS3 game). I know fan fics tend to get pushed aside as lame, but so far the criticism has been positive, so hopefully if you do decide to read this, you won't sigh in annoyance.
The clanking noises of Clank's feet grow louder. He rushes out one of the bleacher doors and hustles through the crowds. The goons security sees him and tries to shoot him, but he's too small to hit.
He leaps over the edge of the walls and rockets over on to the platform where Ratchet lies.
Ratchet… please. You must get up. Everyone here is depending on you.
I… I can't do it. I'm a failure. I screwed up everything.
That is not true! You exposed Drek's and Nefarious's plans. You saved the galaxy countless times. You can do this.
Why bother? There's nothing left for me. I can't do it, and even if I could, it'd be for nothing.
Ratchet turns his head from Clank.
I found her, Ratchet.
The Lombax turns his head towards Clank.
I found my mother. She controls this. She is what Drek used to frame you. She knows you, Ratchet. She knows the real you. She knows what Lombaxes all about.
Ratchet looks to Clank with a faint glimmer of hope in his eyes.
You can do this, Ratchet. She told me to tell you this.
Clank leans into Ratchet's ear and whispers. Suddenly, his eyes pop open.
INT. MEGACORP MEGARUMBLE STADIUM – DAY
Ace Hartlight leaps and grabs hold of the edge of the platform with ease. He starts to lift himself up.
A pair of Lombax boots slam right against Ace’s face. Ratchet’s rocket-kick knocks Hartlight back to the ground, not before leaping off the robot and landing on the top edge of the walls.
Ratchet sprints across the walls, over all the traps, which elicits huge cheers from the captive audience.
An angry Ace begins firing laser shots at Ratchet, running along the ground. Skillfully the Lombax avoids every shot, leaping from wall to wall with the help of Clank’s rocket-blasts. The crowd goes nuts.
Drek watches the scene unfold in brooding silence. The clock reads thirty-three minutes. Nefarious scoffs.
Enough of this! Gears! Finish him once and for all!
What ever you say, snooky-wookums!
She hops back on her hoverboard and zooms back out into the battlefield. Nefarious calls out after her.
Stop calling me that!
She rides the board out over towards two other FEMALE ROBOT DANCERS near the announcer booth. They hop on their own hoverboards and go racing into battle.
Meanwhile, Ratchet still moves quickly along the wall edges, Ace still on his tail. Gears and her cohorts tag along. A laser light show of firepower zooms past Ratchet and Clank on all sides.
He reaches the end of the wall and leaps crazy-high over the stadium walls, landing in the bleachers. Two guards try to shoot him, but he ducks, inadvertently making the guards shoot each other.
Ace leaps high into the air to reach Ratchet.
The Lombax turns around, dual armed with the fallen guards weapons.
Two powerful shots knock Ace out in mid-air, the robot slamming on his back with a powerful thud. Gears gasps.
Like, annihilate him!
All three female robots begin blasting. Ratchet leaps high into the air and shoots Gears right off her board, who lands right on top of Ace. The Lombax pulls two swift moves and blast the other femme bots off as well.
The clock reads thrity-two minutes. Drek grits his teeth and yells into the mic loudly.
The voice echoes throughout the stadium. Sasha and Angela scream.
Ratchet acts FAST. He kicks the two free hoverboards into overdrive and knocks them hard towards the tubes. They zoom through the air, right as the platform beneath the ladies opens up.
They scream as they fall. The hoverboards speed over towards them at the same time.
They fall on the boards right before they disappear into the acid. The crowd goes wild.
Drek slams his fists hard against the console.
(to Nefarious) Fire the Bio-Obliterator! (to the Thug Leader) You! I want every goon, security personnel, robot—every plebian with a gun to kill that Lombax!
You got it!
He rushes out the room as Nefarious rubs his hands together.
Ooooh, goodie! Time to bring this planet to my side! Lawrence! Give me the switch!
Lawrence hands him a device with a huge red button. Nefarious presses it.
In the center of the battle zone, the Bio-Obliterator charges itself up, glowing yellow, orange, and white.
SASHA (pointing at the Bio-Obliterator)
Ratchet sees it, and turns his board, zooming towards it.
He turns and sees Ace running like a bulldozer through every trap and wall, ripping through everything like paper. On his shoulders sit Gears, dual-wielding a set of blasters on her own.
RATCHET (to Angela and Sasha)
Go rescue the rest of the crew! I'll handle this!
SASHA AND ANGELA
He zooms off towards the Bio-Obliterator. Sasha and Angela shrug at each other and dart off into the halls of the stadium.
At this point, every single enemy is trying to shoot Ratchet, thousands of laser shoots flinging through the air. But with impeccable, determined skill, he avoids every single one.
As he gets closer to the Bio-Obliterator, a huge, giant, armed robot with rocket-powered feet flies down, piloted by both Lawrence and Dr. Nefarious.
Now I shall have my revenge! Lawrence, destroy him!
The machine unloads a barrage of blasts at Ratchet, who zigs off course to avoid them.
The Bio-Obliterator grows brighter and brighter.
INT. MEGARUMBLE’S UNDERGROUND QUARTERS – DAY
Angela and Sasha race through the internal halls of the stadium.
Do you know where we need to go?
If I remember the schematic correctly, it's over here!
She turns a corner and Angela follows. They eventually indeed reach where Qwark, Skidd, Big Al, and Helga are held captive.
Hey! Sasha! Angela!
Boy am I glad to see you! I bet you're just as glad to see (flexes) me…
Everyone just looks at Qwark.
Well, don't just float there! Get us out! Get us out!
In one second.
She hops off her board and fiddles with the nearby controls. Angela leaps off hers as well, checking the areas around them. She turns a corner, and sees several goons and robots running towards them.
Looks like we got company!
Just give me a minute…
Angela trips the first goon hard with a well-placed kick, and flips another over her back, throwing him into the robots. She grabs the dropped blaster off the ground and starts to provide cover fire.
A click is heard, and the gates open, freeing the crew from their prison!
They all rush out the jail, staying low to avoid the laser fire.
Grab a weapon, guys! We're gonna have to fight our way out!
All six members battle their way down the hall, picking up the dropped weapons and the laser fire continues.
Lasers volley back and forth as the crew duck, cover, and return fire.
Angela and Sasha end up back-to-back, picking off two good shots and nailing their enemies. They look at each other and share a smile.
THUG LEADER (O.S.)
Make way, boys! Time to test this baby out!
The goons and bots separate as the Thug Leader drives in on a humvee-like vehicle with a huge machine gun attached to the front.
Time to make you's into mince-meat, meat-heads! Heh. That was pretty clever.
The gattling gun winds up before unloading a high-speed barrage of laser shots, around a hundred shots per second! The crew duck around the corners as their surroundings are destroyed by the gunfire!
There's no way we can get past this thing!
The car drives closer to them, the rest of their enemies following behind it.
INT. MEGACORP MEGARUMBLE STADIUM – DAY
The Bio-Obliterator gains more and more energy as Ratchet works his way around the stadium to dodge the bullets, with Ace, Gears, and Nefarious' robot on his tail.
He surfs underneath the Bio-Obliterator, maneuvering carefully around the thick, metal support poles holding it up. Continuous laser fire blasts in his direction, many of them striking the poles and knocking them down.
Loud creaking is heard as the center structure begins to fall apart. The poles collapse and pieces break apart, but Ratchet skillfully avoids them with jumps, ducks, and dodges, clearly in his element.
In time the massive screen with the timer rips off and falls, tearing a hole in the bottom of the Bio-Obliterator, ripping it as bursts of electrical energy and exposed wires and hoses drop from the destroyed section.
Gears looks up, seeing the screen crumple towards her and Ace, the latter too busy shooting at Ratchet to notice. She leans over and gives Ace a kiss on the forehead.
I don't think this relationship is going to work out. Hugs and kisses!
She jumps off and books it. Ace looks confused, but then looks up and sees the screen tumbling right towards him.
A high-pitched squeal emerges from his mouth, right before the screen crushes him flat.
Meanwhile, Nefarious' robot searches for Ratchet within the crumbling structure beneath the Bio-Obliterator, which still powers up, but is quivering atop the weakened structure.
Where are you, my little squishie friend? I want to make amends! And by that I mean I want to mend your entrails as a medal!
That was exceedingly gross, sir.
Yeah? You know, I was thinking that was a little overboard. How about 'I want to mend your face to the bottom of my foot'?
Poetic license is not your strong suit, sir.
As the two ramble on, Ratchet slips out in secret behind the Obliterator. Clank jumps off Ratchet and onto the back of the massive robot. He unlatches a compartment, exposing a glowing mechanical part, similar to an engine core.
He gives Ratchet the thumbs up. The Lombax grabs one the loose electric hoses dangling from the Bio-Obliterator.
He shoves the end of the hose into the engine core. The robot writhes and shakes powerfully as it's overloaded with excess energy, making it glow, the rockets going from red to blue to white.
Nefarious jumps and squeezes Lawrence and screams as the robot surges upward with a huge burst of speed and energy, ripping through the rest of the structure, exploding through the roof and blasting off into space.
The Bio-Obliterator begins to roll off its hinges, the massive ball bouncing off, explosions ripping from the outer walls as it powers down and shuts off, becoming nothing more than a deadly, unstoppable metal boulder.
It rolls onto the stadium floor and tumbles over the walls and traps like nothing. Gears screams and sprints as the Bio-Obliterator topples after her.
She ducks into the doorway leading underneath the stadium. The ball still goes after her, rolling through the walls, outer structure, and obstacles without even slowing down.